12. Darius
Three years later….
Leaning into the back of my car, I removed all the shopping bags I’d placed there.
Dymand’s bags had been placed in the back while I put me and Vani’s bags in my trunk.
After gathering all ten bags, I walked up to the front door of Bree’s home.
The home she had bought on her own with her own hard work but since my daughter lived there, I paid the mortgage every month.
Dymand. The blessing I didn’t know I needed.
The one thing that kept me from crashing out and losing my mind.
She was the reason I had one more year left of school and one more year in the drug game.
Kyle was dominating the field in college, and we were almost certain he would get chosen for the league.
He told me that as soon as he signed a contract the position as his manager was solidified, but I wanted to be able to represent him to the fullest. I didn’t want something given to me just so he could put me on his payroll.
I wanted to make sure I got him the same opportunities and worked just as hard for him as a manager that didn’t know him would.
He also wasn’t the only athlete I wanted to represent.
I rang the bell and waited for Bree to answer.
I had a key, but I never used it. I didn’t want the lines blurred.
I hadn’t had sex with her since the night she got pregnant.
For the most part, Bree had accepted that we weren’t going to be.
In some odd way, I think she was satisfied with having my child.
I wasn’t her husband, but I had still given her one of the things she wanted.
A baby. Bree was a great mother and as long as she put my daughter first, I had no beef with her about anything she did.
If she was dating, I didn’t know it. I honestly didn’t care.
She opened the door with Dymand on her hip and the moment my mini me saw me, her eyes lit up.
With her dark brown skin, coal black curls, and round doe shaped eyes, she was the spitting image of me.
Bree simply carried her, but Dymand was me in girl form.
With a grin a mile wide showing the two teeth she had at the top and two on the bottom, Dymand reached for me, and that shit melted my heart.
I wasted no time placing the shopping bags on the floor by the door and taking my baby from Bree. “Winter shopping for shorty is done,” I announced closing the door behind me.
Bree picked the bags up and shook her head. “Shopping for her is never done. It’s still summer, and I bet you’re about to start on Christmas.”
“Smart woman,” I replied before kissing Dymand on her chubby cheek.
Bree was dressed in gray sweats and a white sports bra.
For her first Mother’s Day I got her a mommy makeover and while she never dressed provocatively, she never missed the chance to show off her flat stomach.
She was smart, successful, pretty, and had a nice body.
I was sure Bree could have a man if she really wanted one.
I couldn’t fathom that she was holding out hope for me because I didn’t love her.
I had love for her, and I respected her, but I wasn’t in love with her.
When she hinted that she wanted a sibling for Dymand and that she preferred they have the same father, I knew I’d be a fool to ever stick dick to her again. I wasn’t even risking it with a condom.
I sat down on the couch and played with Dymand while Bree put her things away.
Bree kept an immaculate home, and that was another thing I admired about her.
Dymand’s room was organized to perfection.
Her pantry looked like some shit from a magazine.
Everything had a place and was always neat. All 3,000 square feet of it.
When Bree came back in the room, she sat on the opposite end of the couch.
“I’m going to pick her up Friday and keep her until Monday morning. I’ll drop her off at daycare.”
“Okay.”
There was a brief silence that felt awkward for some reason.
“So, I heard Vani is about to come home soon.”
“That doesn’t have anything to do with you.” I never took my eyes off Dymand while I spoke to Bree.
“It will if she’s going to be around Dymand.” That may have been a valid reason, but Bree wasn’t slick. What she really wanted to know was if me and Vani were getting back together.
I refused to admit out loud that Vani would more than likely never want to be around my daughter. And while I could understand and respect it, I couldn’t be with a woman that didn’t rock with my child. Vani wasn’t fucking with me anyway for a few reasons, but Dymand was the main one.
The entire time she’d been in prison, that shit hurt a nigga.
It was a heartbreak I had never fully healed from.
But her walking the streets and me not being able to snatch her ass up and take her home with me, that was going to be the shit that I couldn’t handle.
When I didn’t respond, Bree knew to leave it alone.
I wasn’t dealing with her, but I had a few chicks I hit every now and then.
Since Vani went away, I hadn’t taken a woman out on a date.
I had only taken Bree on a trip two months before she was about to give birth because I had finally accepted that we were having a kid, and I may as well get used to it.
I took her on what they call a baby moon to Bali, but we slept in different rooms.
I made it very clear to any woman that I dealt with that I didn’t want shit besides sex.
I actually preferred to go out of town and deal with women.
That way there was no running into them in clubs or them worrying about what I was doing.
I had dealt with a chick in Miami a few times.
I had a jawn out in Golden Waters that I hit a handful of times, and I even had a chick in Atlanta that I dealt with a few times.
There were no phone conversations, outings, trips, or dates.
We just came together when it was time to have sex and afterward, I was out the door faster than they could take a shower.
I knew Vani didn’t want to be with me, and I still refused to get serious with anyone else.
I was focused on my daughter, school, and money.
It was so serious that there was a bad ass chick in one of my classes that flirted with me often.
Shorty was pretty as hell. One of the prettiest chicks I’d seen in a minute, and I wanted no parts of it.
For one, she was local. For two, she had a sweet, innocence about her that reminded me of Vani.
I wasn’t trying to fall a second time. Once was more than enough.
Thirty minutes after I arrived at Bree’s house, I fed Dymand some baby food and gave her a bottle.
I then gave her a bath and read her a bedtime story.
When she fell asleep on my chest I didn’t move for at least twenty minutes.
Finally, I eased her in her crib and left the house.
My next stop was to Azarius’ crib. I wasn’t surprised when I saw Hailey’s car in the driveway.
After Vegas, Azarius and Hailey started dealing with one another.
It wasn’t anything serious for a long time.
Within the past year, they had turned their toxic up and were a hot mess.
Hailey rode by Azarius’ crib and saw another female’s car.
She didn’t trip. The next weekend, she was in Charlotte at a Hornet’s game booed up with some nigga.
She stayed in Charlotte the entire weekend shopping, partying, and recording it all.
Azarius was pissed. He was so pissed I couldn’t do shit but laugh.
He called her and cursed her out. The next weekend, he was laid up with her, and all I could do was shake my head.
Occasionally, I saw Hailey out and every now and then, I saw her with Azarius, but I didn’t see her too much.
She was cordial, but shorty wasn’t exactly my biggest fan, and I couldn’t blame her.
I kept money in Vani’s account during her entire bid.
I waited every day for her to call me. I didn’t visit her because I wasn’t doing all that.
I sold drugs for a living. Visiting her that one time when she was in jail had my skin crawling because I felt like I was walking myself into a snake pit.
She only called once during her entire bid.
Once streets started talking and it got back to her that Bree was pregnant, she called me.
Said she wanted to hear it from my mouth.
When I confirmed it, she hung up on me, and she hadn’t called me since.
I wrote her two letters. She didn’t respond to them.
I couldn’t even be sure she read them. For three years Vani had been out of sight but never out of my mind.
Bagging up all the shit she left at my crib and taking it to Lo had a nigga sick.
For the past two months, I had been shopping for Vani.
Whenever I bought me and Dymand something, I bought her something.
I hadn’t seen her, so I didn’t know her exact clothing size, but I knew her shoe size.
Certain shit I assumed would be cool like a large in leggings or sweats.
I got her casual shit to chill in and fly shit to go out and be seen in.
Everything from Alo, LuLu Lemon, and Nike to Gucci and Louis Vuitton.
I got her heels, sneakers, sandals, shades, purses, a watch, earrings.
I was going all out for shorty. I also planned to get her a BMW and a crib.
One of the Chanel bags I got her held $20,000 inside.