12. Darius #2
Everything I had for her was going to be given to her through Hailey.
I wanted Vani to know that there were no strings attached.
It would make my day if she wanted me back, but I wasn’t expecting it.
The few times I talked to Lo, she made me aware that Vani didn’t call her or their parents much.
She was withdrawn. Vani dealt with immense anger and depression.
She was mad at herself and sad about her circumstances which were understandable.
Vani didn’t belong in prison. My heart ached the time Lo told me she was in the hole for a week because she beat some chick up.
The woman kept popping shit and she thought it was sweet ‘cus Vani was so short. My baby left her leaking.
She had survived three years in the belly of the beast, and I didn’t want her to come home and want for anything.
Even if she didn’t deal with me, I still wanted her to be good because I loved Vani.
When she left me, I was pissed. I didn’t go looking for her because I was angry that she left over nothing.
I didn’t want to have to explain myself when I hadn’t done anything.
But being stubborn didn’t get me anywhere.
When I found out she had been arrested, I was shocked.
Lo came to the house and cursed me out thinking Vani got caught with my drugs.
It wasn’t until Jared contacted Lo sounding all paranoid and scared thinking Vani was gon’ snitch on him that she realized what had happened.
I saw one picture of Vani during the time she was locked up, and my baby was so got damn fine, I couldn’t stop staring at the photo.
Hailey had posted it on her social media page.
Vani was wearing khaki pants and a brown tee, and she was thick as shit.
Her ass and thighs had more than doubled in size.
Her hair was thick and full. She had it pulled into a high ponytail, and it still touched the nape of her neck.
Her face was full, and she looked healthy.
Her skin was kind of pale due to lack of sun, but she was still badder than a lot of women out in the free world.
No jewelry, no makeup, no lashes, no weave, and she was still badder than a two-year-old.
I could only imagine when she came home and put that shit on.
I had plans to tell Hailey to find a nice house for Vani, and I was going to give her the money to pay the rent for the first six months.
I wanted her to live in some fly shit out in the suburbs.
Only time would tell what would happen once Vani came home.
I could hope and pray. I could even dream but whether or not she fucked with me was entirely up to Vani.
The next day, I was walking out of class when my pretty classmate, Ebony tapped me on the arm. “You good? You look kind of down.”
“Down?” I raised my brows with a chuckle. “Nah, I’m not down. Just got a lot on my mind.” And I did. Vani would be home in a week.
Aside from that, I had two exams to study for, and I was running the streets heavy.
My clientele had tripled over the years.
The money I was seeing was next level. Shit, it was life changing.
So life changing, that I was thinking about wrapping it up.
It would be real sad to get so close to walking away and then end up getting arrested.
Every time a dope boy got arrested, my ass would sweat bullets for about a week.
I never knew who was watching. Niggas would get caught and start singing like canaries.
It was a shame that some of the biggest hustlers in the city would get caught and not even hold it down the way Vani did.
She wasn’t even in the game, and she walked her time down like a G.
“I definitely understand that. This calculus exam I have next week is giving me gray hair.”
“You got it,” I offered slight encouragement as we walked toward the exit.
“So, I’ve never in my life done this,” she stated slowly making me glance over at her.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” she gave me a sheepish look before palming her face.
I assumed she wasn’t used to making the first move on a man, and it made sense.
I’d watched almost every male in class try to get her attention or spark conversation in one corny way or another.
I was probably the only one that hadn’t.
I’d even peeped an older, married man flirting with her.
I knew more than likely, my honesty would make me sound like a lame, but I was gon’ keep it a stack with her. “I don’t have a girlfriend, but someone has my heart. That’s lame as hell, huh?” I laughed.
“No. Actually, that’s very sweet. She’s a very lucky lady.”
“We’re not together. Haven’t been together in a minute.
We don’t even talk. I just like to be honest. Anything the opposite of fun, lust filled, and casual, I don’t want any parts of.
I’m not a fuck boy. I don’t get off on disrespecting women.
Just don’t have the energy for anything remotely serious, and I’m not out here selling dreams.”
No matter how many times I told Bree I wasn’t the man to marry her and give her kids, she never stopped hoping.
Even after I got a girlfriend and stopped having sex with her, she was still adamant about being in my life.
Her persistence paid off in a way because she did get the baby that she wanted.
She was a perfect example, however, of how women didn’t hear a fuck ass thing that was said to them.
They wanted what they wanted and would plot on a way to get it.
More than likely, Bree knew she was ovulating the night I got her pregnant.
It wasn’t even like me to hit her raw. I could blame it on the alcohol, but it was on me. Nobody else.
“I get that. I really do. And I still feel like she’s a very lucky lady. Most men won’t even be that honest and intentional about a woman they’re actively with. I hope she comes around and realizes what a great guy she has in her corner.”
“I feel like one of those lame ass guys that got friend zoned or something,” I laughed. “Like a heartbroken simp that’s out here getting advice.”
“Not at all,” Ebony shook her head.
I pushed the door open and held it for her. A few students were coming in, and Lo was one of them. It had been a minute since I saw her. “I’ll holla at you later, Ebony. What up, Lo?”
She looked up from her phone. “Hey,” she replied slowly. I was sure I was the last person that she expected to see.
“How you been?”
“Between having a three-year-old, being a full-time college student, and working part-time, I don’t have time to be anything other than tired,” she chuckled. “I’m hanging in there though.”
I gave a curt nod. “I don’t know how often you talk to Hailey, but Vani is set. Clothes, shoes, money, cell phone, a crib, car, all that. It’s hers. With no strings attached.”
Lo gave me a small, sympathetic smile. “You know she was distant with everybody. There were times she didn’t call home for a week.
Used to have us going crazy, but she was depressed.
And rightfully so. You having a kid hurt her, but she was hurt before that.
You’re not the only person who she stopped reaching out to.
And I’m sure she will appreciate everything you’ve done for her. ”
Again, I nodded. Vani more than likely felt some type of way because I didn’t visit her the entire time she was in prison.
But getting on a person’s visitation form wasn’t an easy process.
You had to fill out an application, send in a copy of your ID, get a background check run, and be approved.
I wasn’t doing all that. I was a whole ass drug dealer.
Putting all my information like address and phone number on a government document was a hard fucking pass.
Vani should have understood that, but that didn’t mean she liked it.
And I knew for sure having a child with Bree probably sealed her hatred for me.
When it came to Vani, things had gone so wrong so fast, I barely had time to comprehend it all.
One day we were great, and the next day, I didn’t even know where she was. From there, it only got worse.
If I was given one hundred guesses on how Vani and I would end, her doing time would have never been one of those guesses. All I could do was keep moving forward and know that whatever was meant to be would always be.