13. Vani
“Stop looking so nervous, Oakford,” CO Davis grinned.
I legit had the bubble guts. Never would I have imagined that being released from hell would have my anxiety in overdrive.
Hell was the only correct term that could be used when describing prison.
I was almost as nervous as I was the day I was sentenced.
Three years in prison had felt like a lifetime.
There were days I tried really hard to make the best of my situation.
I conversed with other inmates, watched television in the rec room, went out on the yard for fresh air and exercise, but those decent moods never lasted long.
Most days, I was either overly sad or angry.
My first three months were the toughest. I got so tired of people trying me because I was so small that I damn near got into a fight two times a week.
By the third month, other inmates were calling me Laila Ali because I had whooped so much ass and more importantly, I didn’t back down from anybody.
I had a tall ass had to be two hundred plus pound bitch always popping shit.
The day I walked up on her and asked her what was good, the hoe tried to say she wouldn’t even fight me because I was so little, and she’d hurt me.
I was also real cool with an inmate by the name of Endia.
She was fifty and had been down for ten years.
She was a drug queen pin and had ten more years to go.
She’d be sixty when she was released. Endia was married, had three kids, and five grandkids.
During my time in prison, I met so many different women from so many walks of life that it was insane.
Old women, young women, Black, White, Hispanic, Indian, African, German, Italian.
“I am nervous,” I confessed. “Is that normal?”
“More than you’d think. Sadly, adjusting to the free world takes some time once you’ve been incarcerated. Especially when it’s been years.”
I nodded as I watched one of the newer inmates give me the side eye.
Davis was fine. Like fine as fuck. There weren’t too many inmates under the age of fifty that didn’t think he was handsome.
His skin was the hue of milk chocolate, he had super thick eyebrows, long lashes, and deep dimples.
His five feet eleven stature wasn’t even too unappealing considering where we were.
Eye candy wasn’t plentiful. As far as I knew, Davis kept things professional with everyone and had never slept with an inmate.
But that didn’t stop his male co-workers of being jealous of him, and the female co-workers would really beef with any female they felt he was drawn to.
Sadly, that had been me a few times. I was one of the rare ones that didn’t throw myself at him or try to pay him to sneak contraband in for me.
He felt like being cordial with me was safe.
Despite his professionalism, there were still hoes that hated to see us talking.
Prison had done a number on my mental but physically, I was in my prime.
I allowed myself two soft drinks a week from the canteen, but I mostly drank water and sometimes, orange juice or fruit punch.
It was hard, but I tried to go at least seven days a month with no sweets.
I walked on the yard and did squats and crunches five days a week.
I also mostly wore my hair in cornrows. My body was tea, skin flourishing, and hair, long, thick, and healthy.
Even when I didn’t feel good, I for sure looked it.
I had been awake for three hours and with each passing minute, I got more anxious.
They should have let me leave as soon as morning count was over.
They were taking their sweet time, however.
I had plans on braiding hair and helping my mother and grandmother at my grandmother’s soul food restaurant.
Some people were released from prison with nowhere to go, so I was grateful that my parents were welcoming me with open arms. But I was almost twenty-six.
For the past three years, I hadn’t had any privacy.
I couldn’t even take a shower alone. To say I was ready to get my own place would be an understatement.
Another officer spoke into the walkie talkie they carried and asked Davis his location.
When he told him where he was, the person on the other end gave him instructions to walk me to the front for release.
My heart fell into my ass as I turned around, went back into my cell and hugged the women that were gathered and conversing. The ones I called friends.
I would never forget a lot of them. As I was walking down the long corridor, my heart began to gallop in my chest.
“Stay out of trouble. You’re too damn pretty and smart to ever come back in here,” Davis stated as we walked side by side.
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” I mumbled.
Everything was a blur though time seemed to be moving extremely slow at the same time.
It was weird. The moment that gate popped loudly before it opened, and I was able to walk through it, my heart swelled with relief, and tears filled my eyes.
Finally! I was free. My eyes darted around the parking lot.
There were a few cars parked in the front, but none of them were running.
There was no telling how long Lo had been waiting if she was even there.
“Bitch!” she screamed hopping out of an emerald, green BMW.
I took off running toward her, and we collided seconds later.
“You thick thick,” I stepped back to get a good look at her.
“And where did you get this fye ass BMW?” I knew she couldn’t afford such a car.
I didn’t want to get out of prison preaching to her, but if Lo wasn’t turned off from fast money after seeing what happened to me, I wasn’t sure if anything could be done to put her on the right path.
“From Darius,” she replied with a straight face making me frown.
“Darius who?”
“What other Darius would I be referring to? And it’s not mine. It’s yours. He got you a car, clothes, shoes, a phone, jewelry, cash, a crib. He went all out for you, sister! You don’t have to want for shit, and he said there are no strings attached.”
My lips twisted to the side. “And you believe that ‘cus I don’t,” I continued to ogle the car.
She was a beauty. Fresh out of prison, I didn’t feel I was in the position to turn anything down, but thinking Darius would set me up and not want anything in return wasn’t fathomable.
“He said it so hold him to it,” Lo instructed. “You can be smart without being a fool. Take everything, he has to offer. Jared’s dumb ass sure can’t do anything for you,” she rolled her eyes and placed the key fob inside my hand.
A year after I was arrested, Jared got picked up on drug charges.
Crazy thing was, I kept it solid and didn’t tell on him, but he snitched on a few people.
Even though I didn’t rat him out, he didn’t hesitate to turn informant, and he was still sentenced to six years.
Slowly, I walked to the car beyond grateful that Darius had thought of me, but I needed to make my own money.
The moment he went back on what he said, I was giving everything back.
I wanted to say I completely understood why Darius didn’t come visit.
Yes, he was a drug dealer. But I didn’t get caught with his stuff.
I guess there was no way to know for sure if he would have brought attention to himself by coming to visit me.
And honestly, we weren’t even together when I got arrested.
He didn’t owe me a visit. But it still hurt.
Especially when I found out he had Bree’s bitch ass pregnant.
He was never beating the allegations when it came to her.
Somehow, some way, she was going to find a reason to be around.
When he admitted that she was pregnant, he may as well have reached inside my chest and pulled my heart out with his bare hands.
A relationship was the last thing on my mind, but I did want to have sex.
Bad. It wouldn’t be with Darius though. In the car, I settled into the soft leather and started the engine.
It came to life so quietly and effortlessly that I almost thought I hadn’t started it.
The dash read 121 miles. Damn. Darius was still out there doing the damn thing.
Lo opened the center console and removed an Apple box. “Here’s your phone.”
It had been years since I had spoken to Darius or seen his face, but he came through for real.
To not thank him would be rude, but I wasn’t going anywhere near that man.
Out of sight out of mind didn’t work for three years.
I still loved him. Still cried for him. Body still ached for him so if I saw him, yeah, it would be hard.
There was no need for me to lie to myself about it.
“You good?” Lo’s voice snapped me from my thoughts after we’d been in the car for about ten minutes.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “Just thinking. As soon as I shower and get dressed, we can head to ma and daddy’s house. I am starving, and I just know she threw down.”
“Think she didn’t?”
Lo had put an address in the GPS that I wasn’t familiar with, so I assumed it was the address to my new home. “Does he have a key?” I glanced over at her.
“I’m not sure. He paid his aunt to put it in her name. I met her the day she signed the lease. She was in here cleaning, but she gave me two keys.”
That brought me a little comfort. Lo informed me on how school was going, how she was mad about not transferring to Charlotte, and her volatile relationship with Tyriq.
She claimed that it had been six months since the last time she had sex with him, but I doubted she was done.
I didn’t know what kind of hold Tyriq had over Lo, but I didn’t like it. She was grown though. What could I do?