13. Vani #2
“You going out tonight? I know Hailey wants to be extra as hell. You need some fun in your life before you start braiding hair and slaving at the restaurant. Tonight, we turn up.”
“I guess.” I wasn’t certain.
On one hand, I wasn’t interested in the club, but they had a lot of nice lounges and bars in Diamond Cove. “Tonight is going to be a movie! My girl is back!” Lo turned the volume on the radio up, and I had to say I felt good.
I was cruising in a new car on my way to my new home.
I had a job lined up already and was confident that my braiding clientele would pick back up.
If I was depending on jobs to help me get back on my feet, I knew it would take some time.
I was still willing to put the work in, but not having to start over completely from scratch was a major blessing.
I just had to hope that Darius really meant what he said about there not being strings attached.
After almost an hour in the car, the GPS led me to a beautiful subdivision. I turned onto a street that had four finished houses and four that were in the process of being built. When I pulled into the driveway of a home with chocolate paneling, my jaw slacked.
“Who lives here?” From the outside, the home looked massive.
“You do! I need a tour.” Lo hopped out of the car while I stared after her in disbelief.
I had spent most of the last few years operating in a season of isolation. Even with a celly, I only spoke to her when I felt like it. Living alone would be a wonderful and welcomed experience. Excited, I opened the car door and followed Lo to the front door.
“Wow,” I stepped inside the home and inhaled the new scent. There wasn’t any furniture in the living room, and I didn’t care. Hopefully, he left it empty, so I could decorate myself.
“This is gorgeous,” Lo squealed as I walked slowly through the house taking everything in. There was a bedroom downstairs, kitchen, living room, and one full bathroom. I stared out the back glass door at the huge fenced in backyard.
After standing there stuck on stupid for a few minutes, I ran up the stairs and stopped in my tracks when I hit the top.
There was a huge sitting area. From where I stood, I could see inside the laundry room and even that was spacious.
There was a washer and dryer set and a sink.
I entered the master bedroom, and my jaw once again slacked.
There was a queen beige bed and a matching dresser.
A huge television had been mounted on the wall.
On top of the dresser sat about six bottles of perfume and various scented lotion.
He’d even remembered my favorite perfume and lotion from Chanel.
I knew once I stepped inside the closet I was going to cry. It wasn’t about the material items. It was the thought and the intention.
“Darius did good, sister,” Lo came into the room.
“Yeah, he did.”
“Sooooooo,” she sang. I already knew whatever she was about to say was something I didn’t want to hear. “Do you really think something happened with him and Bree that day you fought her?”
“I don’t know what went on with him and Bree and at this point, it doesn’t really matter. They have a child together. The three years I was away, she was still around.” Blinking away tears, I opened the door and stepped inside the huge walk-in closet.
“That man loves you. He loves you for real, and I think you should at least give him a conversation.”
“Damn you switched up quick.”
Lo shook her head. “If you haven’t learned anything in three years, you should have learned about being stubborn.
I’m not saying you were wrong for feeling some kind of way that day but impulse and emotions had you on some other shit.
Everything happened fast and nothing got resolved. I know you love him, and he loves you.”
“We had three years to converse,” I gave her a fake smile. “He didn’t care enough to come visit.”
“The man is a whole king pin. He didn’t want them running his name through the system.
Every time he saw me, he asked why you wouldn’t call him.
I understand once Bree got pregnant. I really do, but don’t let that hoe keep you from the love of your life.
You went away for three years. She had his baby, and he still hasn’t wifed her. ”
“I spent every day for more than three years mad at myself. No one has been harder on me than I’ve been on myself.
My situation wasn’t Darius’ fault, and maybe my anger toward him is misplaced, but I’m good.
I can’t go back to that. He was a great man but right now, I have lost time to make up for.
Goals to reach and a redemption to plan.
I let myself down. I have to build me back up, and I want to do that without a man.
Plus, I will never lie. I can’t be with Darius and accept the fact that he has a child by a bitch I loathe. ”
“I feel you.” Lo sounded sad. I could get that she felt Darius was good for me.
One thing I tried to condition myself to do while I was in prison was not to act off impulse.
Calm down first and use rational thinking.
Don’t be so quick to assume. Communicate.
I knew I needed to get myself together. I knew that better than anybody.
Silence filled the room as I walked around the closet eyeing the clothing, shoes, and four purses.
A sad smile graced my face. Darius was still fly and popping his shit.
He had great taste and had probably picked every item in the closet out himself.
I loved that man and more than likely, I would love him until my heart stopped beating. But like Tina told Ike. What’s love got to do with it?
“Get out of this car and give me a hug!” Hailey screeched nine hours later.
Lo drove us to Hailey’s house to pick her up, and we were going to a sports bar.
I had been out of prison for eight hours.
I showered, went to my mom’s house to eat, went back home, showered again, and got dressed for the bar.
With the money I found inside one of the Chanel bags that Darius got me, I was going to get some furniture and décor for the house.
Hailey visited me a handful of times when I was locked up.
At least five times a year, and I was appreciative.
People had lives, families, jobs. Plus, I didn’t really like visits.
When they were over, I’d be down bad for a day or two.
Just missing my regular life and wanting to be free.
I lost count of how many times I told people they didn’t have to come see me but most times, they showed up anyway.
I was grateful for the support I did have while I was down.
There were women that I did time with that had been down for years and had never received one visit. That had to hurt.
Grinning, I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car. Hailey gave me one of those tight church lady hugs and rocked my body from side to side.
“Baby you look good!” she exclaimed after finally taking a step back to look me over.
“Thank you,” I blushed.
I had decided on wearing a red tube top, cargo, baggy, camo print shorts, and red strappy heels.
I parted my hair down the middle and flat ironed it.
It came past my shoulders and was thick and shiny.
I put lash strips on because I loved the way they accentuated my eye shape.
It had been three years since I had worn makeup so even though I didn’t really need it, I beat my face, and I was the fuck fine.
It was the first time in a long time that I looked in the mirror and wasn’t disgusted with what I saw.
Of course, I couldn’t get three years back.
All I could do was try and make the next three years some of the best of my life.
Tonight was going to be a movie. I wasn’t concerned with any whispering or stares that might occur. Yeap, the bitch was back.
“You got me beefing with that man, and I don’t even care.” Hailey bumped me playfully with her shoulder, but I frowned.
“Me? Got you beefing with who?”
Hailey opened the rear passenger door. “Azarius. He’s mad because I wouldn’t tell him where we were going. You know there’s always a chance Daruis might show up, but I promise it won’t be because of me.”
I gave a slight nod as my gut churned. I was exceptionally horny.
It would be the wrong time for me to see Darius.
Lord, I wasn’t that strong. Lo’s words swirled around in my brain.
Did I think Darius had cheated on me with Bree?
I couldn’t be sure. But the way I caught him staring down at her and wiping her tears away, yeah that shit activated my crazy to an entirely different level.
My man wasn’t supposed to look at anybody like that or care about their fucking tears.
Young, dumb, na?ve, jealous, insecure. I had probably been all those things, but I never wanted to be them again.
None of that was Darius’ fault. It was my issue to sort out and while I was doing so, I didn’t need distractions.
And love, baby that shit was the biggest, fattest, funkiest distraction there could possibly be.
I couldn’t become so caught up in a person that I crashed out and made stupid choices.
Leaving Darius, trying to make some fast money, that was all me.
None of it was his fault. But I’d be lying if I said knowing that he shared a baby with Bree didn’t make me feel like she’d always take precedence over me in his life.
Her and the baby, and that was some shit I couldn’t handle.
Call it pride, stupidity, ego, whatever. I could own my shit.
“My mother fucking bitch is home!” Lo screamed at the top of her lungs while turning the volume up in the car to the max.
Hailey turned around so she was facing the rear of the car, grabbed the headrest, and started twerking in the backseat.