Chapter 40
Emma
My heart bleeds for Sebastian. And so much about his attitude toward the great director becomes clear.
“Did you know? This whole time?” he asks, his voice breaking. “Is that why I was hired on The Family?”
Mancini shakes his head. “No! When you were younger, I never even suspected. I was only with your mother once, when Maricella and I had broken up briefly. And your mother never said a word. She was married to your father—to Peter. So I never suspected.” He frowns.
“Holy shit. I played your brother in The Family.” Sebastian’s eyes fly back to the photo. “No wonder you cast me. What with the family resemblance and all.”
“Darling, I’ve suggested to everyone that it might be time to retire.” Maricella places a hand on Dario’s back. “Let’s sit, shall we? And chat.”
I wonder how can she be so cool. Her husband may not have cheated on her since he said they were broken up at the time, but it was close. And Sebastian is the result.
I look around to see that we’re now alone in the room. She cleared everyone out so quickly, and I never even noticed.
“Yes, yes, you’re right,” Dario says. “Young man?” he addresses Sebastian.
Sebastian sucks in a breath, then shakes his head. I turn toward the door, wondering if my presence is making things more awkward. Should I stay or go?
He grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly. His skin is dry and his grasp firm. But I feel a slight trembling in his grasp. And I realize though he seems self-possessed, there’s a lot more going on underneath the surface.
I squeeze back. A silent, I’m not leaving. I’m staying as long as you need. It’s as simple and complicated as that.
Together, we follow the older couple and take a seat opposite them on the leather couch.
“So, if you didn’t know about me when I was a kid, playing your brother on television, when did you find out?” Sebastian asks, diving straight back into it.
Dario ruffles his famously wild hair. His thick brow pulls together.
“The resemblance wasn’t as pronounced at that age.
But the older you got, the more I noticed your striking resemblance to my dad and to my brother.
Even your mannerisms were similar. I started to wonder.
I reached out to your mother more than a few times over the years, asking, trying to get more information about your birth.
She always denied it. She said it was impossible because she’d already been pregnant when we were together.
But I couldn’t stop wondering. I tried to reach out to you, but you know how that went.
Once you turned eighteen you stopped taking my calls.
” He looks into the distance. “And finally, a few months ago, I ran into your mom at an event.” He raises an eyebrow.
“She was upset about something Peter had done. She’d been drinking, but she admitted she’d lied about you and that you were likely mine.
She claimed Peter would have abandoned her if he found out the truth. ”
Sebastian doesn’t respond, but I can feel the tension radiating from him as he stares a hole in the carpet.
“I’m sorry I was blind for so long,” Dario continues. “I saw the resemblance, the timing. I should have forced the issue.” He takes a deep breath. “Since I found out, I’ve wanted to talk, try to gauge if you knew. But until this weekend, you ignored all my attempts to reach out.”
“We would have welcomed you into our family,” Maricella adds, looking at her husband in an encouraging way.
“Dario told me about the brief affair. We’d been on a break at the time.
I was upset when it happened but accepted it.
He’s also been open with me about his suspicions over the years.
I’ve known you since you were a child. And loved you even back then.
It would be an honor to have you as part of our family.
But we understand you might need some time. That this is all a shock.”
Sebastian finally looks up. “What if the resemblance to your family is just a coincidence? My mom obviously doesn’t know the truth.
And it’s not like she’s ever said a word about it when she’s been sober.
She could be confused. She’s been an addict for decades now.
It’s prescription medicine, but she’s an addict all the same. ”
“We can do a DNA test if you want to be certain. But Maricella and I have discussed it…” Dario turns to his wife, and they clasp hands.
She smiles encouragingly, and he continues. “We want you to be part of our family. Forever. If that’s what you want.”
I can feel the energy Sebastian is exerting to hold it together. This dynamic man, who I’ve seen handle crowds of thousands with ease, is frozen.
Over the last few days, I’ve come to admire the Mancinis. I think they’re sincere and are offering Sebastian the chance at something beautiful. The chance at something he deeply deserves. And I hope to hell he’s able to accept it.
But I know him. He needs time to process what he’s lost before he can process what he could gain.
“This is all a lot to take in… son,” Mancini says.
He starts at the word son.
“Sebastian?” I say, a quiet query.
He turns to me as if I’m his lifeline, his eyes in turmoil.
“I’m a little tired,” I lie. “I’m going to bed now. Do you want to come with me?” I want to give him an out, a reprieve, if he needs one.
Perhaps I’m overstepping and I don’t belong in this. I don’t actually have a role in his life besides that of former assistant, current friend, and temporary… I falter, not sure how to define us. Plus, I’ve spent the last month actively trying to carve out space and a life separate from this man.
But none of that matters, not now. Not when there’s stark pain in his eyes. Not when I’m here and I can help in some small way. In a world of agendas and counter-agendas, I can be the one person who is on his side. At least until our time is at an end.
And just as I suspected, he grasps the proffered branch as if it were his only purchase in a storm. “I’ll join you.” He turns back to the couple. “Can we—can we talk more in the morning?”
“Of course, dear,” Maricella says, subdued. “Sleep on it.”
We say our awkward goodbyes and walk silently back to our room, our hands clasped tightly.
When we make it inside, I turn to him to ask if he’s ready to talk, but instead, he kisses me.
Though kiss is an inadequate word. He grasps my face with one hand. His other wanders over my body with fierce possession.
And I think I understand. He doesn’t want to talk. Not yet. What he needs right now is us. Like this.
I moan, holding him with equal fervor.
The last two nights, our coming together was about learning each other’s bodies.
But tonight, we’re lost in an inferno. We strip off each other’s clothes.
He doesn’t wait to take the short steps to the bed. He lifts me, pushing up my skirt, and holds me against the wall, my legs around him. We rock into each other wildly.
When I don’t think I can take much more without exploding, he swears and rips the panties from my body.
“If I weren’t so turned on right now, I’d cut you for destroying my favorite underwear,” I say with a gasp. “They were expensive.”
“I’ll buy you all the La Perla you want, baby. Fuck, you’re so ready for me,” he grits out as his fingers sink into my wet heat.
“You’re forgiven,” I cry. “Just keep doing that. But with your dick.”
He barks out a laugh and fumbles with the zipper on his pants, then pushes down the final barriers of clothes between us.
The V-neck of my deep blue dress also gets sacrificed as he stretches it out to gain access to my lace-covered breasts.
I can’t complain too much, though, since he paid for the clothes he’s currently destroying.
Plus, I’m out of my mind with desire for him as he replaces his hand with his mouth and sucks on my nipple, using his teeth as well. I moan embarrassingly loud.
Every one of my senses is activated.
“I need you in me,” I beg.
“Fuck,” he swears. Then takes a deep breath. His body is trembling at the effort of holding back. “A condom,” he mutters.
“I’m on the pill and clean,” I say. “And I coordinate your tests, so I know you’re clean as well. Or you were last month. If it’s true that there hasn’t been anyone else—”
“Baby, I told you. There’s been no one. Only you.”
My smile is tremulous. I trust Sebastian. I know he wouldn’t lie. “I’m okay if you want to… without protection. That is, if you trust me as well.”
“I trust you, baby, always. And, hell yes, I want to. Being in you with no barriers. It’s my fantasy.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
With that teasing taunt, he pushes into me in one surging motion. I gasp as I stretch around his large length and wrap my legs around his ass more securely.
I’ve never been fucked like this. Up against a wall. Or with such intensity that’s somehow both achingly rough and heart-stoppingly gentle.
We’re both so keyed up, so lost in each other, that it doesn’t take long before I’m whimpering for him, drowning in the heat and sensation, scent and sound of our desperate joining.
“Come for me, baby. Now.” It’s both a command and a given. It’s fait accompli. The law of assumption for orgasms.
“I need you,” he adds on a ragged breath. I know his voice as well as I know my name, but I’ve never heard it sound so raw and full of dark desire.
In the end, that’s what does it. It’s the knowledge that this is Sebastian as he kisses me like I’m all he’s ever craved.
The silk of his hair grasped in my hands.
His name on my lips as I finally shatter in a million sparkling pieces.
I trigger his release, and there’s nothing like the feeling of him coming inside me. It all feels more raw, more messy.
More real.
Which is as beautiful as it is scary.
Later, much later, I’m lying in bed in my now-familiar, favorite position with my head resting in the crook between his arm and chest.
“Sebastian?”
“Hmmmm.” He kisses the top of my head. I close my eyes at the gesture.