Chapter 40 #2
“Why did you come here this weekend? You knew this could blow up on you. You have all this painful history. But… but you still came with me.”
“I already told you. Because I thought you needed me, Em. You were hell-bent on making the trip when you were still suffering the effects of the concussion. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Thank you for caring,” I say quietly.
“I’ll never not care.” His voice is sandpaper-rough.
I take a swift, indrawn breath at his words, but he continues before I can respond.
“And I sure as hell am grateful I came. I’m so damn glad. Or we wouldn’t be here now in this bed. But also, even though it was hard, it was important that I faced it. It needed to happen. I want to move on with my life. This has stalled me for too long.”
“Are you ready to talk about it? Or do you need more time to process everything?”
“It’s okay. I guess I’ve had a decade.” He sighs. “It’s a relief for it to be finally out in the open.”
“Do you think your mother is telling the truth now? That Dario is really your father?”
He nods. “I keep playing things around in my mind. And Dario Mancini being my real father would explain so much. My mother may claim she doesn’t know for sure, but I think she does.
She told me in her drunken rant ten years ago that Peter wasn’t man enough to get her pregnant.
That they tried for years. So if she gave birth nine-ish months after she had an affair with her director… ” A muscle in his cheek flexes.
“But your dad… um… Peter must have believed you were his, or wanted to believe, at some point. Otherwise, he could have asked for a paternity test.”
“I don’t think he wanted the scandal. Or to accept that he might not have been able to have kids, if what my mother said was true.
After all these years, countless affairs, and several marriages later, I’m still his only child.
I could never figure out why he resented me.
Why he’d give me digs about not being a true Blake.
He did that even before I rebelled. He hated my job on The Family.
And he hated Dario. I could never understand why.
” He shakes his head. “Maybe it helps a little to see that his resentment was about more than me not being good enough for him.”
“You were always good enough, Sebastian. You were an innocent child caught up in other people’s poor choices. I mean, your mother had to have known that you getting a role in Mancini’s show would only antagonize him further. If she didn’t want the secret to come out, she was playing with fire.”
He snorts. “Who knows why my mother does anything? But it was just after my parents’ divorce, after he cheated on her with the nanny.
She probably had me audition for the part as a fuck you to him.
But she stopped short of telling him the truth, since that would impact her alimony.
The fuck you worked. My dad treated me differently after that.
The harder I worked on the show, the more he hated it.
And so I’d work even harder, trying to impress him, trying to win his approval.
” He snorts. “I remember proudly telling him how Mr. Mancini said I did a great job.”
“Oh,” I say. “I could see how that would be… not ideal.”
“He mellowed a little when the show ended. We were almost at peace for a few years. I mean, he was barely around, but when he was, he tolerated me better. But then my grandmother died and left me the mansion. And he hated that. He never wanted the house for himself. But I can see that if he wasn’t sure if I was really a Blake, how it would be a kick in the ass that I inherited it.
And he would be right. My grandparents didn’t know—” He swallows.
“Don’t you even finish that thought.” My eyes narrow. “From everything you’ve said, your grandparents loved you. Nothing can ever take that knowledge away. And wasn’t your grandfather adopted himself? I remember you telling me that.”
“Yes, but—”
“But nothing. It’s not just about blood. You have your memories. You’re their grandchild. They’re part of you. And you’re part of them. That will never change. And now, you have the opportunity to be part of a new family as well. You deserve a family like the Mancinis. If you want them.”
He sighs. “I’m not sure what I want. I need time to think.”
“You need time to think?” I tease, wanting to lighten the mood. “Who are you, and what have you done to my ex-boss?”
He chuckles. “You’re rubbing off on me. Maybe I should make a twenty-point list.”
I whisper a kiss over his chest, affection running through me, so sweet and sharp that it almost hurts.
“I’m—I’m supposed to leave tomorrow. Except that was before. I can—Do you want me to stay?” I dare to ask.
“Don’t you have to be back in LA for your meeting?”
“I mean, I do. But…” I know I swore I wouldn’t let Sebastian steal any more of my time.
But that was Sebastian Blake, the boss. Sebastian Blake, the man, doesn’t need to steal my time.
He already has it, freely given. Just as I can finally admit that he already has my heart.
I thought I could do this just for fun. But I was kidding myself.
Sebastian came here to the Mancinis’ even when he knew it would hurt. For me. I can be here for him.
“I can reschedule it—”
“No,” he says swiftly, starkly.
No is a complete sentence.
Pain steals my breath. Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe I overstepped, wanting to be needed. Isn’t that what I normally do?
“You have to go,” he urges, softer now. “Your meeting is important. I appreciate everything. I was reeling. And you were the only solid thing holding me together. That’s you, Em.
That’s always been you. But I can handle this on my own.
It’s time I did.” He flashes me his half-smile.
“My world, my shit, isn’t as important as yours.
I know that now. And I refuse to let you cancel on my account. You’ve done that for too many years.”
“So this is our last night.” It’s not a question, but it’s not quite a statement either. I hate how small and needy I sound.
The planes of his face realign. “No, Em—”
I stop the rest of his words with a kiss, afraid of what I might hear.
He cares about me and I care about him. But this was never meant to be long-term.
I refuse to ruin our last night together with promises neither of us can keep.
I have a business to run. And he has a movie to film. And beyond that…
Our kiss deepens, wiping anything else from my mind. No matter what happens beyond tonight, we have this.
He runs his hands over me possessively, as if claiming me as his.
And that’s when I realize.
No matter how far I walk, or how high I climb, or what I build, a part of me will always be Sebastian Blake’s. And nothing I do will ever change it.