Chapter 27
Later that night, after sharing dinner with her aunt followed by an evening of relaxed conversation that had been far simpler and less emotionally gruelling than the one they’d had earlier, Gaby went upstairs to bed for her last night on Foxglove Street.
During the soothing hot shower she’d taken before dinner, she’d thought about everything her aunt had said.
Was it true that the collapse and end of her parents’ calamitous marriage had left lasting scars? Yes, of course it was true.
Was it true that part of the reason she’d always kept moving from job to job, from destination to destination, was because she believed that was enough for her and she wasn’t willing to risk having more? Well, maybe.
Her aunt was correct in acknowledging that Gaby had built the life she wanted, first and foremost because she loved to travel and loved the hospitality world in which she worked.
But it was only now that she wondered a little more deeply about the romantic relationships she’d enjoyed over the years.
Had some tiny part of her worried that her ability to so easily walk away when it was over and it was time to move on must mean that she would never find ‘true love’ because she wasn’t worthy of ‘true love’?
Yes, Gaby thought her aunt might just be onto something there, even if that thought had never occurred to her until now.
Was Jill also right that the real reason she’d never found ‘true love’ anywhere else was because she’d already found it here in Hamblehurst with Peter all those years ago?
That thought was so staggering that she simply couldn’t process it.
Because if it was true, then it demanded she do something about it.
And doing something about it meant turning her life upside down.
It meant taking a risk, a big risk, and staying here to find out if there really was a future with Peter.
But what if she was wrong? What if she risked everything, gave up her life travelling the world to settle here in this sleepy English town tucked away in the quiet countryside, only to discover that she wasn’t in love with Peter after all?
You are in love with him. You’re more sure of that than you’ve ever been of anything else in your life.
Gaby sighed as that certainty settled inside her heart and wondered what to do about it.
Two impulses competed inside her for attention. The first implored her to throw caution to the wind, ditch the cruise ship job contract, and fling herself into Peter’s arms and let tomorrow take care of itself.
The second impulse was to honour the commitment she’d already made to the job because going back on her word caused her genuine anxiety and went against everything she stood for.
Wrapped up inside that second impulse was something else, too—an opportunity to take time to breathe and be sure of what she wanted next.
Working on board the cruise ship would give her the chance to make sure these feelings for Peter were real, to make sure she hadn’t just been caught up in the moment.
She might be sure right now that she was in love with him, but the speed with which all this had happened surely meant it was wise not to rush into any rash decisions.
If she was still thinking about Peter in a few days, a few weeks, a few months, then she’d know for sure that being with him was what she wanted.
It would also give her the chance to fulfil her job contract and honour her commitment, not to mention sail on board a beautiful ocean liner and visit places she’d dreamt of seeing for so long.
She’d get to tick a few more destinations off that list she carried with her everywhere. She’d get to fulfil her job contract. And if she still felt the same about Peter, she could come back here and they could pick up where they left off. That’s what he’d asked her to do, after all.
Option two was the sensible way forward, far better than flinging her life up in the air right now and making the sudden decision to stay.
Leaving gave her options. Staying closed those options down.
Gaby realised she’d made her decision.
Tomorrow, she’d leave just as she’d always planned and travel to Southampton to meet her new employers and join the cruise ship.
While sailing around the Mediterranean and the Caribbean over the next few months, she’d think about Peter and about the future and make the next big decision once everything was clearer in her head.
With the decision made, she blew out a sigh of relief. It felt good to have picked a path and committed to it.
In the upstairs guest room, she packed a few things into her suitcase before getting ready for bed.
Glancing around the pretty bedroom, she told herself to enjoy the comfortable and spacious room while she had it, because after tomorrow she’d be squeezed into staff cabin quarters for the duration of the cruise voyages.
She’d miss this lovely bedroom, which had started to feel like it belonged to her during her short stay. When she first arrived, she’d admired her aunt’s comfortable home and the cosy ambience she’d created, and it would be hard to leave it behind.
Gaby walked to the window and looked outside.
Foxglove Street was quiet and still and bathed in moonlight.
As her gaze travelled across the tucked-up houses and the gardens that were beginning to hibernate as winter approached, she realised she’d miss the charming and lovely street, too, which had come to feel like… home.
So that was something else to think about after she left tomorrow and during the weeks to come.
Could this be home? This street perhaps, or this town? It wasn’t hard to imagine making a home here, which she wouldn’t have imagined possible just a few weeks ago.
Or was she just fooling herself that a life spent rooted anywhere was possible after spending so many years always moving on?
Neither of these questions made sense unless she tried to answer them with Peter in mind. If it wasn’t for him, she wouldn’t be thinking of this place as home and wouldn’t be imagining what a life spent here might look like.
Peter lay at the heart of all these questions she was asking.
Was Peter also the answer?
Only time away from here, and from him, would give her the clarity she needed.
Gaby climbed into bed, her mind exhausted after the emotional upheavals of the day. She fell into a deep sleep filled with starlit skies and whispered promises and dreams of a love that stayed just out of reach.