Chapter 28
It was almost ten o’clock when Peter’s doorbell rang. For a fleeting moment he felt a surge of hope that it might be Gaby, coming to tell him that after the shock of hearing what he’d said that afternoon, she’d realised she loved him too and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
He dismissed the delusional idea instantly. Which was just as well, because when he answered the door it was his brother Brad he found on the other side of it.
“What are you doing here?” Peter asked.
“Nice way to greet a visitor,” Brad said.
“It’s late. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Didn’t realise I needed an appointment.” Brad held up a dish covered in tin foil. “We missed you at dinner tonight and the boys made dessert. They wanted me to bring some to you.”
Last week, Peter had accepted an invitation to his brother’s house for dinner, but after everything that had happened last night and today, he’d bailed out, not wanting to subject Brad and his family to his gloomy mood, never mind answer questions about why he was in that mood in the first place.
Touched that his nephews had thought of him in his absence, and more than a little curious about whatever lurid concoction they’d put together for dessert, Peter opened the door wider for his brother to come in.
“You didn’t need to come all the way over here at this time of night just to bring me dessert,” Peter said. “I could’ve come over tomorrow and got it myself.”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay. You sounded funny on the phone earlier when you called to say you couldn’t make it to the house for dinner.”
“I’m fine, but thanks for checking.”
“The boys missed you tonight. They were excited to get you on the PlayStation and show you how they’ve set up the gaming station we built for them. They were disappointed not to give you a tour of their action figures and tech layout. They spent ages last week getting it all organised.”
“Sorry I let them down. I’ll come over soon and check it out. I just wasn’t feeling too great today.”
“Is this because your girl is leaving tomorrow?”
Brad set the covered bowl on the kitchen counter.
To avoid answering the question, Peter pulled back the foil to examine the contents.
Inside the bowl there was a serving of trifle that incorporated acid green jelly and bright pink sponge that had gone soggy thanks to the tinned fruit, topped with whipped cream that had been dyed blue and sprinkled with neon-coloured sugar shards.
“This looks, er, delicious,” Peter said.
Brad laughed. “It is delicious, actually. Don’t let the Chernobyl vibe put you off.”
With a chuckle he hadn’t thought he was capable of until his brother turned up, Peter replaced the tin foil over the bowl and put it in the fridge.
“So, your girl, Gaby,” Brad said. “You’re upset because she’s leaving.”
He said it like it was a fact, rather than a question. Trust his brother to get straight to the point.
“I’m not upset. I already knew she was leaving.”
“But you wish she wasn’t leaving. And you are upset. You look like a kicked puppy.”
“Thanks for that visual.”
“So, what happened? When you and Gaby were at dinner at our parents’ house the other night, everything seemed great between you two.”
“It was great. But she leaves tomorrow and so it’s in the past now.”
Brad frowned and held his gaze, leaning against the kitchen counter and folding his arms. “So that’s it over, then? Just like that?”
“I don’t have much choice. She was only here for a couple of weeks. Less, actually. She starts work on a cruise ship tomorrow and will be gone for months. You heard her talking about it at dinner the other night.”
Brad nodded. “We all had high hopes that something nice and romantic might happen between you two and make her change her mind about leaving.”
Peter lifted his eyebrows. “Something nice and romantic?”
“Those are Donna’s words and she told me to say them,” he said with a shrug.
“Gaby was never going to change her mind about staying here. She has a life.”
“Did you give her any reason to think she might have a life here, too?”
“Brad, why are you interrogating me about this?”
“Because when you brought Gaby home to mum and dad’s last week, it was the first time we’d seen you properly happy with a woman.
Ever. As the oldest brother, it’s my job to find out if you did everything you could to make sure she knows how you feel about her, because we don’t think you can be trusted to deal with it on your own. ”
“Wow, that’s… insulting.”
Brad waved this off. “Look, the family sent me here. I’m just doing a job. I’d much rather be at home with my wife and kids than here with you, believe me. But we are where we are and everyone expects me to report back. So, let’s get on with it. Did you tell Gaby how you really feel about her?”
“Yes, I told her how I really feel about her.”
“Wait. What? You did?”
“Yes, I did. Why does that surprise you?”
Brad narrowed his eyes. “Tell me what you said.”
“No.”
“Tell me.”
“Get lost, Brad. It’s personal.”
“Did you tell her you loved her?”
“Yes, I told her I loved her!” Peter said, frustration finally punching through. “I told her I loved her and she told me to get lost. There, are you happy now?”
Brad seemed to think about this. “You really told her you loved her?”
“Yes.”
“And she said, ‘Get lost’. That was her reply?”
“Yes. Sort of.”
“She either said ‘Get lost’ or she didn’t.”
“Okay, she didn’t say that exactly. But that was the gist of it.”
Brad sighed. “Tell me from the beginning.”
It was obvious that if he wanted to get rid of his brother, he might as well just tell him what he wanted to know. “I told her I loved her and said I wished she would stay. She said that meant a lot to her but she had a job to go to and thanked me and then we said goodbye.”
Brad made a face. “Okay, I can see how you might feel like this was a setback.”
Peter burst out laughing. “A setback? Brad, it was completely humiliating. I had to walk out of her aunt’s house feeling like a total idiot. That was on top of already feeling like an idiot last night after we…”
When he stopped talking, his brother wiggled his eyebrows. “Ah, right, I see.”
“No, you don’t see, and stop doing that with your eyebrows, Brad. What are you, twelve years old? This wasn’t just some casual thing, you know.”
“Yes, I do know. The fact that you’re obviously out of your mind right now is evidence of that. So, what are you planning to do next?”
“Nothing. There’s nothing I can do. I told Gaby how I feel and she’s leaving anyway.”
“If it was the other way around and she’d said she loved you and asked you to give up everything to follow her off on her cruise ship or whatever, would you do it?”
“Don’t try to outsmart me, Brad. Gaby already asked me that same question and I’ll tell you what I told her.
I know it’s not a fair question to ask because it assumes it’s no big deal to just ditch your job and your commitments and leave people in the lurch.
So no, I couldn’t just walk out of school in the middle of the term. I’d never do that.”
“You’re both people of principles. The best kind of people, in my opinion. And I’d be surprised if either of you just threw off your responsibilities like that anyway. That’s not how the real world works. But there are other options, surely?”
Peter sighed. “Like what?”
“Well, this cruise ship she’s working on. You could find out where it’s going and book a holiday on it over Christmas. That’s only a few weeks away. That would show her you’re willing to make a big gesture.”
“A big gesture that’s borderline creepy, Brad. You think it’s a good idea to follow her around on a cruise ship while she’s trying to work, demanding time with her?”
“Okay, point taken. Where does the cruise ship sail from?”
“Southampton.”
“You could find out which one she’s on. I bet her aunt will know. You could drive down there and tell her you just had to see her one more time before she goes and that you hope when she comes back, you’ll be her first port of call.”
Peter stared at his brother for a long moment. “How did you ever persuade Donna to marry you?”
“What? You don’t think that sounds really romantic?”
“I think you’re lucky Donna didn’t need much persuading when it came to deciding you were the one for her.”
“Hey!”
“Look, thanks for your suggestions for the various romantic grand gestures I could make to prove my love. But I already drove to her aunt’s house this afternoon and told her I was madly in love with her but that I understood she had to honour her commitment to her job and told her to let me know if she ever felt the same way about me and wanted to see where it might lead.
And that’s when she said thanks and goodbye.
She lives her life on the road, Brad, and I live mine right here. And that’s all there is to it.”
Brad sighed and looked unhappy. “I’m sorry.
But I don’t think that’s all there is to it.
The other night at dinner, you looked happier than I’ve ever seen you.
Happier than any of us have ever seen you.
And it was because of Gaby. We know you want more out of life than a bachelor pad and an empty bed. ”
“Thanks for that,” Peter deadpanned. “I feel so much better after those words of comfort.”
“You know what I mean. You want a wife and children. You’ve never made a secret of that.
But if you’d wanted just any woman to be your wife and give you kids, you’d have both by now because it’s not like you’ve been short of girlfriends over the years.
We all wondered why none of them ever stuck.
After seeing you with Gaby, we understand why.
You can’t let her just walk out of your life, Peter. ”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“There’s always a choice. You just have to keep looking until you find it.”
Peter sighed. His brother was starting to annoy him now.
Brad didn’t seem to understand that Peter had laid his heart on the line and Gaby had turned him down.
There might be good practical reasons for why she’d done it—her job, her commitments, her desire to honour her word with employers—but she hadn’t given him any reason to think she would be interested in pursuing things with him if those obstacles weren’t in the way.
“Thanks for the sage advice, Brad, but I’m throwing you out now.”
“Fine. But you’ll think about what I said?”
“If it gets you out of my flat then yes, I’ll think about what you said.”
At the door, Brad gave him a hug and his usual dumb cool-dude handshake before leaving, which took the edge off and made him laugh. Nothing Brad had said had helped, but knowing his family was there for him was enough.
Once he’d said goodbye to his brother, Peter got ready for another week at school, checking lesson plans and meeting slots.
But his mind was restless, replaying every scene from his time with Gaby over the weekend, from their walks hand-in-hand around town to the meals they’d shared to their spectacular kiss beneath the stars to the earth-shattering time they’d spent together in his bed…
to her gut-wrenching departure last night followed by his foolish quest this afternoon to tell her how he really felt.
His brother’s words kept spinning around in his head too.
There’s always a choice. You just have to keep looking until you find it.
Peter wished he could find it. But if there was something he could do to change things, he had no idea what it was.
Gaby was leaving tomorrow. He couldn’t stop her. What else was there to be done?
Peter lay awake half the night thinking about that question and chasing answers that didn’t exist.