Chapter 19
BACK IN LONDON, the chill of the winter air cut even more bitterly because of what was missing.
New Zealand hadn’t just been warmer in temperature, the people had embraced him in a way Nate hadn’t experienced before.
Even after finding out he was a real doctor, they hadn’t harassed him for hiding things.
Hadn’t made him lay bare all his painful secrets, like he’d expected them to.
They’d simply wrapped around him like friends at a beach party and invited him to share their laid-back, fun approach to life.
Even Jess in the end. Especially Jess.
Now, a week after arriving home, walking towards his parents’ house with his fingers frozen and tucked as far into his coat pockets as humanly possible, New Zealand seemed like a fading dream.
He knocked on the door, where his dad greeted him with a hug and led him into the kitchen.
“Cup of tea?”
“Thanks, Dad.”
His father shuffled around the kitchen, and Nate could see new grey hairs streaked through the black. How much stress had this whole situation caused his parents? Even more proof his plans were necessary. They didn’t need the extra conflict.
“Where’s mum?”
“Out at Book Club.” He passed Nate a steaming cup of tea, cradling his own. They sat opposite each other at the breakfast bar, a neat pile of paperwork waiting between them, a pen balanced on top.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” His dad said, nodding towards the papers. “Samantha did cheat on you.”
“And I’m not saying I’ve forgiven her fully,” Nate said. He’d considered it long and hard and, regardless of how hurt he was, he knew it was the right decision. “I’m still upset, but I wasn’t exactly fair on her.”
“I’m not following.”
“I expected her to wait around for me. Honestly, Dad, I gave her so little of myself I’m surprised she even agreed to marry me at all. We barely knew each other when I think about it.”
“You were just doing what it takes to make consultant.”
“Doesn’t make it right, though. How did you and Mum do it?”
“I don’t even know. We made it work somehow. I can’t say it was easy.”
Nate grabbed the pen, his hand hovering over the document. He needed to make his own life work somehow, too. What he’d been doing clearly wasn’t it. Time for something different.
“As long as you’re totally sure. The lawyer can finalise it this afternoon. But it’s not too late to change your mind, son.” His dad placed his cup of tea down, looking concerned.
“I’m sure, Dad.” Nate sounded more confident than he felt, but he’d made up his mind. It could be the biggest mistake of his life, throwing everything away, everything he’d worked for, but it was a risk he needed to take.
Reading his name next to hers again brought up all the memories and regrets of the past few years. The things he wished he could do differently. That he would do differently from now on. He’d start with this.
Nate steadied himself with a deep breath and signed the paper.
HER CAT JIMBLE CURLED up asleep on her knee, Jess sat on the couch with her best friend, both peering over the laptop.
“You put an offer on? This is the most exciting thing since chocolate popcorn.” Poppy clicked through the photos of the cottage again.
“Now you’re making me crave popcorn,” Jess said.
Poppy handed the laptop to Jess and reached for her bag, pulling out a Tupperware container. “You think I’d come over and not bring treats?”
“Of course you have Tupperware. Are you actually my grandmother in disguise?"
Poppy shrugged. “Your grandma was awesome, so I’ll take that as a compliment.” She opened the lid and revealed chocolate-coated pretzels.
“Did you make these?”
“I did. Now talk to me. What offer did you make?”
“I don’t know if it’s enough. The bank gave me a limit, and it’s at the lower end of what they’re asking for.”
Jess stroked Jimble’s silky fur and tried to calm her excited nerves with a pretzel.
When she’d seen the Rangiora cottage up for sale, it felt like fate.
She couldn’t believe it. With the payment from the film consultancy job, she’d finally saved enough for a deposit, and her dream had the possibility of becoming a reality.
It had to mean something, didn’t it? The cottage going on sale just when she was ready to buy?
“It’s perfect,” Poppy said. “I’ll be there every weekend.”
“With Tupperware, I hope.” Jess allowed herself to imagine it. The film job had become a turning point in her life and made her realise how much she wanted a change.
As a child, those peaceful days in the country with her grandfather had been the happiest in her life.
And then with Nate, cooking and spending evenings together in the little cottage—working in a small town and living a quieter life—it was everything now.
Maybe once she’d settled in, she could even allow someone like Nate into her life?
Except she didn’t want someone like Nate. She wanted Nate. How that would happen, she had no idea. He’d made it clear he wanted to get back to his consultancy role and his apartment. And London wasn’t for her.
But the premiere was coming up for the show, and Laney had mentioned he might come. It was a ridiculous idea—her and Nate—and she’d tried hard to move on, but she couldn’t shake her crush.
Her cat stretched and rolled over on her knee, wanting a scratch under the chin, and she was happy to oblige.
“Did I show you the dress I picked out for the premiere?” Clicking on a saved page, an image of a figure-hugging, rose-gold dress appeared. It cinched in at the waist and flowed around the hips with a high split on one side.
“That is so gorgeous,” Poppy squealed. “Watch out, Doctor Famous.”
Jess nudged her friend’s leg in a playful punch. “Stop it. I told you that’s not a thing.”
“But it could be…” Poppy teased. “Dreamy London doctor falls for cottage-owning country girl. I can see that playing out.”
“You read far too many romance novels. He’s in London and I’m here, and that’s reality.”
“It could happen. Especially with that dress.” Poppy nudged her back suggestively. She lowered her voice, laying on a thick British accent. “Oh Jess, let me check your temperature. You look hot.”
“Should I be worried about you?” Jess laughed. “You’re meant to be encouraging me to keep away from men, remember?”
“I think we can make an exception for Doctor Nate Mitchell.”
“I should have never told you his name. Remind me why we’re friends?”
“Because me and your darling cat here are your one true loves, and want you to be happy. Don’t we Jimble?” Poppy lifted Jimble up and held him to her face. “Jimble says ‘Keep an open mind. Love finds a way.’”
“No, I think we’re friends solely because of chocolate pretzels.”
An I’m-plotting-something look came over Poppy’s face. She swapped the laptop for Jimble, placing him back on Jess’s lap where he settled himself into a tight circle of fur, head to tail.
“I know that look.” Jess shook her head, but before she could stop her, Poppy typed Nate Mitchell into the search bar.
“Poppy. Come on. I don’t want to stalk the guy.”
“It’s not stalking. It’s research.”
Several images appeared, most of him when he was younger, in the television soap opera.
Some of him as a doctor: profile images from his workplace, Jess assumed.
Seeing his photos sent a warm rush spreading out from her chest and across her arms. She hadn’t crushed this badly on a guy since her teens.
“You weren’t kidding. You sure this guy isn’t a player? Look at that jawline.” Poppy’s own jaw dropped open.
Remembering their kiss at the wrap party, Jess touched her lips. Why had she done that? She couldn’t even use the excuse of too many drinks. The party had only just started. It had been spontaneous and stupid, but she didn’t regret it.
They’d had that one night together in the cottage, but he hadn’t once pressed her for more.
It was obvious he liked her, but he hadn’t pursued her aggressively, like so many others did.
Hadn’t love-bombed or chased or tried to manipulate.
He’d apologised and seemed to feel he’d done something wrong.
How many guys like that did you meet? None Jess could remember.
When she’d kissed him goodbye, he’d been so sweet. Pulling her close like he wanted her desperately, but not making any false promises. It was refreshing.
“No, he’s a gentleman.”
Poppy gasped. “Oh, Jess. Is this his ex?”
Jess focused her eyes back on the laptop and the picture Poppy had clicked on of Nate and his ex-fiancée at an event.
Nate, in a dark suit, stood with his arm casually around a tall woman with hour-glass curves and long dark hair.
Her head was turned slightly to the side, but the resemblance was unmistakable.
“She looks like you,” Poppy whispered.
“Yeah.” Jess stared in disbelief and shock.
Poppy typed in the woman’s name, Samantha Wright, and clicked on her Instagram. A page full of Jess look-a-likes. “It’s so weird. She could be your twin.”
Poppy scrolled through and clicked on an image. “Didn’t you say they’d broken off the engagement?”
Jess couldn’t think. Her mind froze. Her eyes locked onto the image of her Doppelganger proudly displaying a large diamond ring, the comments full of love-hearts and congratulations.
“This is just last week,” Poppy said. “Oh, hun.”
The surroundings behind Samantha caught Jess’s eye.
A London apartment exactly like the one Nate had shown her pictures of, and a view of Big Ben just outside the lounge window.
Either they had matching apartments with the same view, or she was still living in the apartment Nate owned.
Clearly, Nate and Samantha were back together.
Memories shuffled and rearranged themselves in her mind like jigsaw pieces. What had their time together meant? Had he only shown interest in her because she looked like his fiancée?
Jess’s heart cracked. Kissing him goodbye had been a stupid mistake. This was what you got for allowing fantasies of love to seep in.
“Are you okay?” Poppy closed the laptop and turned to her.
“Fine. Like I said, it was nothing. I’m totally fine.”
Except she wasn’t. Not at all.