Chapter 20
NATE ARRANGED TO HAND THE KEYS of his apartment over to Samantha at noon. His parents had kindly collected all his things, but he wanted to hand over the keys himself for closure.
They’d never officially ended their relationship.
Hadn’t had any discussion at all about it, not even a text.
Instead of facing up to it, the apartment had become their battleground.
Except he no longer wanted to battle her.
Being back in London, going back to work, had made him realise the life he was trying so desperately to salvage, wasn’t the life he wanted anymore.
Like clothes he’d outgrown, it didn’t fit right.
He straightened his navy suit jacket and knocked on the door. It was odd knocking on a door that had been his only days before, but the paperwork was finalised and the apartment belonged solely to Samantha now.
Jackson, his old school friend, opened the door. A flash of discomfort crossed Jackson’s features before he smiled awkwardly and greeted him. “Nate, I forgot you were… Ah, do you want to come in?”
Did he want to? What kind of closure did he need? Was seeing them together enough? Seeing that she’d moved on and feeling…what about it?
“No. Thanks, Jackson. Just dropping the keys off.”
At the sound of his voice, Samantha arrived at the door and Jackson disappeared back into the apartment, clearly relieved.
“Nate, hi, nice to see you,” she welcomed him with more warmth than he was expecting.
Nate hadn’t known whether seeing her again would bring up all the pain and anger. Whether he’d feel sad or want to beg her to take him back. But with her standing within arm’s reach, none of those feelings emerged. There were no feelings left at all for her. Only for Jess.
“Congratulations on your engagement,” he said.
“Thanks.” She didn’t break eye-contact, but twisted her engagement ring mindlessly.
It was larger than the one he’d given her, he noticed, amused.
It didn’t matter. All of it suddenly felt very silly, like they’d been playing a game of make-believe, trying to pretend themselves a perfect life.
Pretending, like children, they didn’t need to put in any effort—it would all magically be okay. But he knew better now.
He fiddled in his pocket for the keys and removed them from his keyring. “Front door and sliding door. That’s everything done.”
“Yes, that’s everything.”
They stood facing each other for a few moments, an unsaid apology passing between them. Sorry for letting you down. Sorry for hurting you. It didn’t need to be said aloud. They were both sorry. He knew her well enough to see it on her face. She nodded, and he knew she could see it on his too.
“Okay, then. I’ll head off,” Nate said.
“Okay. Bye Nate.”
“Bye.”
As he walked down the hallway to the elevator, he placed his hands in his pockets; his keys in his fist—like his heart—now feeling lighter than before.