16. Sophie
Ijolted awake, sweat plastering my hair to my face as I gasped for air. I fought for breath in the half dark as images flickered across my mind. A knife at my throat while the Red Man whispered threats in my ear with foul breath. The man becoming Frederick who yelled about my inadequacies, accusing me of poisoning him in my incompetence. Father striking me with his cane, saying I was a disappointment. And I was so small. So small. Finally, the man was Kasten, disgust on his face as he walked away, leaving me cowering alone in the dark.
I pressed the coverlet into my mouth, forcing my breathing to slow in order to suck in oxygen through the thick fabric. My heart rate slowed, but the images remained, along with that sense of always failing. Always being alone. Always being small and helpless.
It was five in the morning, but I wouldn’t get back to sleep. Maybe it was good for me to rise early anyway. I’d slept away most of yesterday afternoon, and I needed to make up for that. I didn’t want to let the people of Kasomere down.
I bathed alone and chose a simple dress that didn’t need a maid to fasten. Because Father’s voice was so fresh in my mind, I even took a sip from one of the fertility tonics Miss Claris had left. Not that it would do any good if my husband wouldn’t even look at me.
My hands started to shake again, and I gritted my teeth. I couldn’t let anyone see how weak I was. I had to do better than this. I needed to become worthy of this place.
I poured through the books of accounts I’d taken from Mistress Rose, making notes of any places I thought we might save money or could become more efficient. Kasten kept the money for the troops and campaigns separate, and I had no access to those. I also only had access to part of the city’s ledgers. Though my curiosity burned to understand the wider picture, the castle finances were quite enough to keep me busy for now.
The hours ticked by, and my anxiety only lessened slightly. The accounts were already well kept, the staff well paid, and I had few suggestions for improvements.
Needing a break, I turned my attention to the map of the gardens and drew up some plans of my own.
The door opened. Lucy’s bright voice broke my concentration. “I’ve brought breakfast to your room after your fright yesterday. I guessed the gardens might not be the best place to have it today.”
I put down my pen and blew the ink dry on my plans for my new plant beds. I would create it close to the house after the fright of the incident yesterday. Close to the servants’ area so I wouldn’t mar the view for Kasten or irritate anyone, since many would probably find it an eyesore. The excitement of being free to plant whatever I wished had been enough to distract me from the memories of the man’s hand around my wrist, his knife at my throat, and how trapped I’d felt in Frederick’s house. But now as I looked at my plans, they felt self-indulgent and frivolous. Darkness returned as guilt stirred in my stomach.
Lucy started to lay cutlery on the small table by the window. “I’ve been informed there will be a special dinner for you tonight, my lady.”
I turned back and let Lucy’s smile chase away my dark thoughts. I couldn’t let anyone see how shaken I was. “What’s the occasion?”
Lucy smirked, and she looked so cheeky, I stood to get closer to her. “No occasion. I just think the general is trying to apologize.”
I frowned. “Apologize for what? I shouldn’t have spoken to him like I did yesterday.” Guilt returned. I still couldn’t believe I’d been so bold. He’d been avoiding me enough before. Now…would he ever want to speak to me again?
The image of Kasten leaving me alone in the dark returned.
Lucy shook her head. “Believe me, he’s wanting to apologize. He asked the head cook to make something special.”
A weight shifted, almost lifting from my chest. Maybe he really wasn’t angry at the way I spoke to him last night. Or how I’d flinched from his touch. I was still berating myself for that. As far as attracting him went, that was pretty much the worst thing I could have done. Thank goodness Miss Claris wasn’t here. But maybe he blamed himself for the Red Man attacking me. If that was true and he did want to apologize, I’d have a chance to repair our relationship.
I spent the day busy getting to know the servants in different areas of the house and learning about their lives and needs. Everywhere I was greeted with smiles and polite replies as if people were surprised but happy about my interest. I was given extra pastries in the kitchen and introduced to a kitchen girl’s new baby. It seemed strange that my presence gave people joy. I was still waiting for this illusion to shatter.
As the cicadas started to sound outside, Lucy helped me into my dark blue satin evening gown with silver embroidery around the bodice. Though I wore a corset, Lucy left it far looser than I was used to. I hoped Kasten would approve. I became slightly nauseous as the clock neared seven thirty.
I walked down the staircase as the sound of a flute wafted up. The sound surprised me, and I turned back to Lucy with a sudden flutter of nerves. “Do we have guests? Am I meant to be hosting?”
Her smile was relaxed. “No, no. Nobody is here. Come on, my lady. The dining room looks amazing.”
I frowned in puzzlement and continued. I smelled the sweetness of roses along with heavier tones of pork and honey.
Lucy opened the double glass doors, and my eyebrows rose. Fresh extravagant roses filled vases and urns on every side. A girl was playing ethereal, sorrowful, and achingly beautiful tunes on a flute in one corner.
The table was covered with bowls of vegetables and platters of canapes for me to choose between.
“There must be some mistake. This can’t all be for me.” When things were grand in either of my past homes, I’d been too busy acting the flawless hostess to appreciate them. Father or Frederick would inspect everything and be furious if anything was less than perfect. I would spend days stressing over every last detail, practicing my brightest smile in the mirror, hoping the guests would be pleased.
I noticed there were two plates and two chairs. My breath caught as my hope rose.
I gave Lucy a long sideways look. “Is…is Kasten joining us?”
She opened her mouth, then just shook her head. I deflated, my nerves vanishing, but also my hope.
If this was an apology, it was kind of him, but it would be nicer for him to apologize in person. It would be nice for him to speak to me in any manner. But I supposed this let him assuage his guilt while keeping his secrets—and himself—out of my reach. And maybe he was a little angry at me after all.
I sighed. Maybe I was being too uncharitable. It was ridiculous for me to feel pushed to one side and ignored when he went to all this effort.
I stared at the luxurious food. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what role I was meant to play.
A voice behind me made me startle. “Correct! Kasten won’t be joining you, instead you have the pleasure of my fine company.” I whirled around and found Callum entering with a grin.
I raised my eyebrows. “You’re eating dinner with me?”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t sound too happy about it. Kasten left for Adenburg in the early hours, so he can’t join us.”
The early hours? That couldn’t be long after his discussion with Meena. Did he never sleep? Sometimes he barely seemed human, like sleeping and eating were beneath him.
I folded my hands in my skirts and picked at a nail as I pondered Callum’s words. “He’s going to the capital again? Why? He only got back two days ago. Especially so close to the campaign?”
Callum sat down and immediately started heaping things on his plate without waiting for me. “He’s gone to send a message to the Red Men.”
I stilled then slowly eased myself into my seat. I picked up my fork, though there was no food on my plate and rotated it between my fingers. “What sort of a message?”
Callum spoke with his mouth full. “What do you think? Probably something along the lines of, ‘If any of you dare touch my wife again, I’ll torture you all slowly until you’re dead.’” He used a deep caricature of Kasten’s voice.
I fidgeted. “Oh.” How could he be so calm while saying things like that?
Callum sighed and waved his fork at me, spraying a tiny bit of food across the table. “Don’t worry. He won’t do anything unless they deserve it. Though this happening right before he leaves on campaign has set him on edge.”
I spooned some creamed mashed potatoes, devilled eggs, and red cabbage onto my plate, trying not to show my unhappiness over my husband leaving while we were at odds. I arranged a few canapes neatly around the side without paying much attention to what they were. “How long will you both be gone? On the campaign, I mean?”
A shadow fell over Callum’s face, and he pushed his chicken around his plate before meeting my eyes. He spoke softly. “You should understand, Lady Sophie. There is a real chance Kasten won’t make it back from this campaign.”
I dropped my cutlery as cold flooded my chest. “Why? What do you mean?”
Callum glanced at Lucy and Meena standing by the wall before clearing his throat. “He almost didn’t come back last time. The king doesn’t want him to return. Kasten’s fighting a war on two fronts. He’s trying to defeat the enemy while guarding his back from the king and most of the nobility. And while trying to protect his men.”
Meena had said the king was trying to ruin the general. I hadn’t realized she had meant trying to kill him.
Rage and shock made my words sound soft. The king was actively trying to murder his own son? “But…but Kasten is the best general. Meena said so. Everyone knows he wins most of his battles. Why would the king want him dead? He’s his greatest asset for the war.”
Callum’s face expressed forced patience and weariness. “He’s also the greatest threat to the throne, my dear.”
“He doesn’t seem the least bit interested in the throne.” I looked down, my heart racing and the familiar sense of helplessness started to seep through my body. “What can I do?”
Callum shrugged and pushed one hand through his hair. “What can any of us do? Just”—he sighed again—“just try to make him happy in little ways before we leave. I think you might be the only good thing in his life. Whatever you two fell out about last night, forgive him, won’t you?”
The notes of the flute suddenly sounded very far away.
My heart stuttered. The only good thing in his life. What did he mean by that? Kasten barely looked at me, let alone spoke to me. How was I supposed to make him happy, even in little ways? I didn’t understand him at all. His world was so big, and I was so small.
I bit into a buttery pastry but it had lost its flavor. I chewed the sun-dried tomatoes mechanically as another puzzle piece fell into place.
Had this been Father’s plan all along in marrying me to Kasten? Not only to relate us to royalty, but for me to be soon widowed and probably childless yet again? Then he could take the lands from me just as he had from Frederick, and I would be put up for auction again.
Guilt stabbed at my chest. How selfish of me to be thinking of myself when Callum had just told me Kasten might die in a matter of weeks. It was him I should be concerned about, not me. I was such a terrible person.
Callum’s voice made me jump. “Help me with something, will you?”
I nodded, still too unbalanced to speak.
Callum bent down beside his chair and pulled out the pyramidal object the Red Man had been holding. I shifted uneasily.
He pushed back a stray curl and handed the pyramid to me as if it wasn’t anything of particular interest. “Hold this. Please.”
I licked my lips and reached out for it. The moment my skin made contact, a soft violet glow appeared in the center—only visible where the metal plates joined. A moment later, a whizzing noise started, and the walls opened like a flower bud. In the middle was a metal frame, from which dangled a metal teardrop on a chain. It swung gently. I didn’t have a single idea what it could be.
Callum watched it intently with his finger curled on his chin. At last, he grunted and took it from me. The device snapped shut, and the glow faded at his touch. He beckoned Lucy from where she stood next to the wall. “Hold this.”
Lucy took it, but it remained motionless. Callum gave it back to me. Again it glowed and then whirred.
My lips parted and I looked at him. “What is this? What is it doing?”
Callum pursed his lips. “It’s what I suspected.” He met my eyes and smirked. “And before you believe you have some unique kryalcomy power or are somehow special, you’re not. It’s been set to track you.”
I pushed the device back into his hands. “What do you mean?”
Callum tossed the closed pyramid into the air. “Let me guess. You’ve held this device before.”
I nodded. “The man dropped it, and I picked it up. It was an accident.”
Callum shrugged. “Unfortunate. It must have been primed and then set to you when you touched it. I’m guessing it wasn’t planned, or maybe he’d planned to have the general to touch it instead. Yes, that would make the most sense. Regardless, once he was able to track you, he decided to use you to force Kasten to help them. A foolish, desperate move. Almost as stupid as their assassination attempt that has got so many people killed.”
I swallowed past my dry throat and leaned in. “Who exactly are the Red Men? And why do they need the general’s help?”
Callum sighed. “Depending on who you ask, they’re either heroes or idiots. In short, they believe in the free use of kryalcomy.”
I frowned. “So they don’t agree with the Maegistrium governing it?” That sounded like a disagreement for the court, not scruffy men fleeing in carriages and holding knives to the throats of women.
Callum pursed his lips. “More that they think the Maegistrium are ineffective. The art stays too expensive, and some nobles still invent unsolicited pieces in secret. And when I say unsolicited, there are some dark, dark things going on behind closed doors, which disproportionately affect the most vulnerable.”
“Is that what that tracking piece is? Unsolicited kryalcomy?” I lowered my eyes to the strange pyramid in his hands. It was oddly beautiful yet unnerving at the same time.
Callum nodded. “They stole it from Lord Lyrason. Part of the so-called attempted assassination. But it’s good evidence. This piece uses human bodies to work and is attracted to human bodies. You don’t want to know what sort of methods he used to make it. The Red Man brought it to Kasten hoping it would be enough evidence of illegal kryalcomy to bring to the king. But Kasten feels we need more to discredit somebody so powerful. The king and Lord Lyrason are close, you see. The Red Man wanted him to present it anyway. Kasten refused until there was more.”
My mouth dried, and I leaned forward. “So the Red Men broke into Lord Lyrason’s house to get evidence? It wasn’t an assassination attempt?”
Callum shrugged. “Oh, it could have been both. They hate the guts of that man. Who knows what their main goals were, ill-thought-out idiots.” He held up the pyramid again and now that I knew what it was, I shied away from it until he squirreled it back into the bag by his chair.
I shifted, excited that I was finally getting information. “Why do they want Kasten in particular to help them? And then threaten him with my life when he wouldn’t do as they asked?”
Callum stared at his plate for a moment as if considering. “Some of their goals overlap with ours. Lord Lyrason is a mutual enemy. Kasten has vast resources and has won respect among many of those who fought in the war and their relatives. I suspect many of the Red Men would choose to put him on the throne.”
I shook my head in alarm. “You shouldn’t say things like that. It’s treason.”
Callum gave me an amused smile. “Oh Sophie, I say things that are much, much worse.” His smile turned wicked. “They’ve not hanged me yet.”
I took a deep breath and chose to ignore the comment. “The pyramid device has a hare imprint on it.”
Callum nodded. “It does. Very observant. Many of Lord Lyrason’s private devices do. The ones that wouldn’t get him in as much trouble, anyway. Though this one… Let’s just say his brazenness in marking it makes me worry about who he has in his back pocket.”
I chewed my lip for a moment. “So do all the lords make illegal kryalcomy? I’ve never heard of this before now.”
Callum shook his head. “No. It takes huge amounts of skill, money, and resources. Plus they risk severe consequences if they’re caught. Normally one would require great motivation.”
I frowned. “And what is Lord Lyrason’s?”
He sighed. “That is what we’re all trying to find out. What is that slime ball of a man up to?”
I couldn’t help but smile at the description. I took a deep breath and plowed on. “And what is it that you make, Callum? What is your and Kasten’s great motivation?”
He gave me a wry smile. “Kasten would skin me alive if I answered that. But let’s just say I like to try to keep us alive. No greater motivation than your own skin.”
My mouth dried, and I lowered my voice, leaning in as close as I could. “You make illegal weapons and protections, don’t you? For the war?”
Callum’s eyes grew hard, though he wasn’t focused on me now. “I keep us alive, Sophie. Or at least, I try.”
“But you don’t think it will be enough this time?” My words were only a breath.
Callum leaned forward and rubbed his forehead. For the first time he looked genuinely distressed. “I don’t know. But last time was bad. Really bad. I suspect this time will be worse.”