Chapter Sixty-Eight
‘Jake,’ I wheezed. ‘I’m so embarrassed. Whatever must you think of me greeting you like that?’
I inwardly cringed. I’d only just been reunited with my son. The last thing I wanted was him running for the hills believing his biological mother was a fruit loop.
Let’s be honest, Mum. A pair of brown eyes looked over at me. Sometimes you make fruit loops seem sane.
Is your mum not quite all there? Rambo gave Cindy a worried look.
‘I was berating my ex-husband,’ I gabbled, well and truly in a fluster. ‘He is… was… being a bit of a nuisance.’
‘No worries,’ said Jake. He sounded very laid back. Like dealing with scatty women was something he regularly took in his stride. ‘Look, can you talk?’
I pointed the remote control at the telly. Instantly, a screen full of chickens and flying feathers disappeared into black nothingness.
‘Yes, I can talk. It’s just me and the dogs. I’m on my own. How are you?’ I asked, recovering my equilibrium. ‘It’s lovely to hear from you,’ I added. And I truly meant it. The joy of hearing Jake’s voice had cancelled out my bad mood over Robin’s text – and even some of the despair about Milo being with Swipe Right Sarah.
‘I’m fine,’ said Jake. I sensed a smile in his voice. ‘I’m truly fine.’
‘That’s good,’ I said, relaxing against the cushions again. Rambo climbed onto my lap. He gave a sigh of contentment. I leant over to Cindy, and rubbed her ears, so she didn’t get jealous.
‘Look, I’m going to get straight to the point,’ said Jake.
‘Okay,’ I said cautiously. Please don’t dump me, Jake. Please don’t tell me you now want me out of your life. Not when you’ve only just come back into it .
‘The thing is’ – I sensed him picking his words carefully – ‘I don’t want to make you feel weird or anything, but…’
‘Go on,’ I prompted.
His next words tumbled out in a rush.
‘Can I call you Mum ?’
I instantly burst into tears.
‘Oh, Jake,’ I sniffed.
I knew he’d saved my contact details under the same name, but to hear him ask to call me that was everything. Just… everything.
‘Sorry, sorry,’ he said, sounding distressed. ‘I didn’t mean to make you cry. It’s just that you are my biological mother, and I don’t want to call you Tilly. It doesn’t sit right with me. But equally, it doesn’t mean I’m expecting anything from you,’ he gibbered. ‘It’s simply-’
‘I would love you to call me Mum,’ I interrupted, wiping the tears from my face. ‘And listen, Jake. I would love to be your mum in every sense of the word, but I will go along with whatever pace you want to set.’
‘Really?’ he said in astonishment. ‘That’s… that’s… phenomenal,’ he said, his voice catching. ‘I’m really grateful.’
‘Jake, I’m the one that’s grateful,’ I whispered. ‘More than words can say.’
‘Then I guess’ – I sensed him gulping – ‘that the feeling is mutual.’
‘Good,’ I quavered. I cleared my throat. A regrouping gesture. ‘When I last saw you, you mentioned catching a plane. Are you back home again or’ – I had no idea where he was in the world – ‘still overseas?’
‘I’m in Crete,’ he said.
‘Oh, wow. How lovely. I’ve never been there, but it’s meant to be a pretty island.’
‘It is. But there was a reason behind the trip. Listen, Mum’ – I glowed at his immediate use of the name – ‘I hope what I tell you isn’t upsetting, but I’ve been discovering my roots and… well, we’re in this together, right?’
‘Absolutely,’ I said, my heart picking up pace. Finding my roots rather suggested seeking out relatives. Or, in Jake’s case, his father. ‘Does that mean’ – I closed my eyes for a second – ‘that you’ve found… Nicholas?’
‘Yes,’ he said simply.
For a moment, the sofa rocked. I clung on to Rambo and steadied myself.
‘And… how did it go?’ I asked calmly.
‘Dad agreed to meet me. Initially it was just the two of us. He told me he was married. His wife is called Eleni.’
Jake paused. I sensed he was waiting for my response.
‘That’s… good,’ I said, exhaling gustily. I hadn’t realised that I’d been holding my breath until then. Right. So, Nicholas was married. And why not? After all, I’d gone on to marry Robin. Two schoolkids had finally grown up and, as adults, married other adults. That was generally the way things were done.
‘However’ – Jake continued – ‘Eleni knew nothing of Dad’s, er, history, if you catch my drift. So, Dad and I initially met for a coffee without her knowledge. Our meeting went well. It was… emotional. On both sides.’
‘I’m sure,’ I whispered. ‘And… does your dad have a family?’ I asked lightly.
‘He does,’ Jake confirmed.
I blew out my cheeks. Another release of tension. Okay, so Nicholas wasn’t just father to Jake, he was also father to…
‘How many children does he have?’ I asked, my curiosity piqued.
‘Four.’
‘ Four !’ I exclaimed. Blimey, he’d not had any issues about sowing his seed. Oh, stop it, Tilly. Don’t start getting bitter.
‘Can you believe I have four half-sisters,’ Jake declared. He sounded delighted. ‘They’re called Konstantina, Dimitra, Lyra and Phoebe. And just to backtrack slightly, Dad went home and spoke to Eleni about me. She was initially taken aback but took the news well. She then personally invited me to the family home where I met my sisters.’ Jake paused for a moment. I sensed him reining in his emotions. ‘They welcomed me, Mum. They welcomed me with open arms. Eleni was so kind, and her daughters were lovely. Phoebe was particularly sweet. She said, “Do you know, I’ve always felt like I had a brother.” And then she touched her heart and said, “I felt it here.” She’s a very gentle soul.’
‘Jake, I’m so happy that you’re happy.’
‘Thanks,’ he said quietly. ‘And I told Dad that I was in contact with you. He asked me to send his very best wishes.’
‘L-Likewise,’ I stammered. I was so pleased for Jake. Delighted, in fact. But all this unearthing meant, well, where did it end? Would I, too, be expected to contact Nicholas? Or him me? Were Nicholas, Eleni and their four daughters to be added to my Christmas card list? And vice versa? Or did we leave the past in the past?
I think, Mum, this is about Jake reestablishing family ties. It’s not about you.
Of course.
‘Anyway’ – Jake continued – ‘they’ve invited me to stay with them for a few days, and I’ve accepted.’
‘That’s amazing, darling.’ The endearment slipped out before I could stop it. But it had felt so natural. ‘And how are you feeling now?’ I asked tentatively.
I had a flashback. Jake telling me how his ex-girlfriend’s wish to have a baby had caused him to fall apart. To subsequently find out who he truly was.
‘Mum, I can’t begin to describe how I feel.’ I sensed the joy in my son’s voice. ‘I feel whole again. Complete. ’