Chapter Sixty-Nine
I awoke on Sunday morning with a glow. The conversation with Jake had ended on such a positive note.
We could never recapture those lost decades, but we could be there for each other in the years to come.
At some point I needed a conversation with my parents. I felt sure they would want to meet their grandson, just as Jake would wish to meet his grandparents. But, for now, he just needed to do what he was doing. Embracing the discovery of who he was, and then balancing all these new emotions with his heart. And head. And feeling complete.
I sighed and turned my thoughts to the more pressing matter of the dogs and our respective bladders. Throwing off the covers, I swung my legs out of bed.
Seconds later, both dogs were out in the garden, sniffing around, choosing the perfect place to tinkle. Rambo cocked his leg against some shrubs, but Cindy had yet to decide which patch of grass should be treated to her waterworks. The emerging brown circles on Milo’s lawn were not lost on me.
I glanced at Starlight Cottage. The place looked deserted. But then again, Milo could be having a lie-in. After all, it was Sunday. In which case, had he brought Swipe Right Sarah home with him?
I retreated into the studio. Peered through the rear window to the area where we parked our vehicles. There was Octavia. Milo’s car was missing. Ok ayyy . So, he hadn’t brought Swipe Right Sarah home. Instead, he’d stayed over at her place.
My mouth gave an involuntary twist, the sides turning down like an upside-down smile. I wandered into the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror. Oooh, Tilly. Change that expression now! You look like a right old miserable cow. Or, as Lisa would say, showing off my resting bitch face.
I reached for my toothbrush and set about getting ready for the day. As toothpaste frothed around my mouth, I tried not to think about Milo. Or the new woman in his life. Or the rampant sex they’d had last night.
Outside, the day was damp and cold, but it wasn’t raining. Pulling on layers of clothing, I fed the dogs, munched my way through a piece of toast, then snapped a spare lead onto Rambo’s collar. Minutes later, the three of us were heading along the lane.
An hour or so later, Rambo was tired. I picked him up and walked, with Cindy, for another mile or two. Eventually, going full circle, I stood on a footpath and surveyed Starlight Cottage in the distance. The space beside Octavia remained resolutely empty.
Turning away, I took another path and decided to walk a few more miles. Cindy still had plenty of energy. Rambo, having rested, wriggled to be put down again. I felt perilously close to tears and chided myself not to be ridiculous. I had so much to be joyful for. Cheating Robin was out of my life. My fabulous son was back in it. I’d also found yet another property online that looked promising. Meanwhile I had a roof over my head and was living alongside a kind man who’d become a friend. The fact that I’d hoped for more was disappointing, but so what? That’s how life sometimes went. Get over it. Get over it and get on with it. Yes, absolutely.
Peptalk over, I took another path, this time turning into the wind. The cold on my face was surprisingly pleasant. I enjoyed the feeling as it lifted my hair, roared into my ears, and uplifted my soul. That’s more like it, Tilly! Get some optimism seeping back into your bones. And straighten that spine while you’re at it.
Marching now, the three of us picked our way through the mud and puddles. My goodness, we’d all sleep well tonight. Maybe this evening I’d properly watch a movie – but not anything that reminded me of Milo – and I’d settle down in front of the box with some piping hot comfort food. Yes, good idea, Tilly. I’d make a chilli con carne. In fact, I’d head to the Strawberry Shed right now. Buy some locally sourced minced beef. All the vegetables to go with it. Bung everything in the slow cooker, and Bob would be my uncle.
Maybe I’d pick up a bottle of wine, too. The Cartwrights had a small range of organic wines. Perhaps I’d buy two bottles. Get macrobiotically sozzled. That way I’d stop thinking about Swipe Right Sarah. The way she’d kissed Milo’s lips. And other parts of his body. Don’t go there, Tilly.
By the time the three of us got to the Strawberry Shed, Rambo was back in my arms and Cindy was drooping. I felt tired myself now, not to mention starving hungry.
I was delighted to spot Hetty Cartwright. She was perched on a stool so she could chat to her daughter-in-law between customers. Linda gave me a friendly wave before turning to serve someone. I went over.
‘Hello, stranger,’ said Hetty, her face wreathed in smiles.
‘Hi, Hetty,’ I grinned, genuinely delighted to see her.
‘How are you?’ she asked.
My smile wobbled.
‘Oh, you know’ – I made a see-saw motion with one hand – ‘good. I’m good. Just been dealing with… the winds of change.’ My tangled hair and windswept appearance backed up that statement.
She nodded.
‘I can see from your aura that you’ve had some recent challenges.’ Her blue eyes danced with merriment. ‘But remember those silver linings I told you about, Tilly? They’re still there. Even more so now that you’re secret is out.’
Startled, I gazed at her in astonishment. How could she possibly know about Jake?
‘I don’t know what your secret is, dear,’ she chuckled. ‘Don’t look so worried. I just know that the cat, so to speak, is out of the bag – but in the loveliest possible way.’
‘Yes,’ I said cautiously. ‘Yes, you’re right.’
‘And it’s going to get better, dear.’ She nodded her head. ‘You mark my words.’
‘Good to hear,’ I said politely.
‘I told you that I saw you living at Starlight Cottage.’
‘You did,’ I agreed. ‘Although living in the studio at the bottom of the garden wasn’t quite what I’d envisaged,’ I laughed.
‘Those winds of change’ – Hetty leant forward and lowered her voice – ‘they haven’t stopped blowing, you know.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You will live at Starlight Cottage.’ She gave me a knowing look. ‘Of that there is no doubt.’ She waggled a finger at me. ‘I’m never wrong.’
‘I’m delighted to hear that,’ I said, deciding to humour her.
Hetty shifted off her stool. She gathered up her belongings, then yodelled to Linda.
‘I’m off now. Got to do my bit for the village.’
‘Okay, see you later,’ said Linda cheerfully.
Hetty’s daughter-in-law had finished serving and was now on the other side of the shop setting out fresh stock. Linda caught my eye. She gave me a discreet wink accompanied with an imperceptible shake of the head. Her meaning couldn’t have been clearer.
Take what my mother-in-law says with a pinch of salt.
I didn’t like to pry and ask Hetty what it was that she had to do for the village. Whilst her eyes held an intense inner radiance, was it possible that their brilliant blue shade also held a touch of madness?