Chapter 33 Steel
I sat in Neha’s backyard, laid out on the trampoline, smoking a blunt.
Three days.
Three days was how long I’d been without my baby, and the shit was tearing me up inside. I couldn’t eat. I hadn’t been to sleep. All I wanted to do was rage and cry.
Donna’s body had been moved to the family mausoleum where I knew she’d be safe.
Quaid and Jaeda had been working around the clock to find something, anything that would lead us to my son.
There was no paper trail other than the fact she emptied out her accounts.
I couldn’t track her because she was smart enough to leave her phone behind.
That let me know she planned to be off the grid.
I’d gone to the home of every single person in her contact list, and no one knew a thing. They hadn’t heard from or seen her. Jaeda pulled their phone records and found no calls from Ms. Anita leading up to their disappearance.
She and Quaid were able to access the camera footage from the surrounding neighbors and saw what kind of car she left in.
The thing was, it matched a thousand other cars like it, and it didn’t have plates.
Still, Pops had our contact at the police station put out a BOLO on it and an Amber Alert on KJ.
My baby’s face plastered all over the news was the last thing I wanted to see. If this were any other circumstance, we would have handled this shit completely in-house. We could cover up a missing adult, but there was no way we could cover a missing child.
I still couldn’t believe that Ms. Anita had done this shit. Of all the things she could have done, she went this route with my child. I would have felt better if she’d taken me to court for custody versus just taking my son and disappearing.
I kept playing our interactions over and over in my head, looking for something that would have given me even an inkling that she was planning this.
I acknowledged her grief. I just didn’t see it playing out like this.
I was a ticking timebomb at this point. If I didn’t find KJ soon, I was going to explode.
“Daddy?”
I turned my head to see Nayelli standing at the end of the trampoline. I quickly ashed my blunt and put it away.
“Hey, baby girl,” I said, solemnly.
“Can I lay with you?”
I motioned for her to join me, and she climbed on, then nuzzled into my side, resting her head on my chest.
“I miss KJ.”
“I know, baby. I miss him too.”
When Neha and I told her about him, she broke down, and that shit further killed me.
“You promise we’re gonna get him back?”
“I’m gonna do everything I can to find him.”
“Do you think she will hurt him?”
I swallowed hard. “I hope not.”
I didn’t believe Ms. Anita would intentionally hurt KJ.
I knew she loved him, but in her state of mind, anything could happen to him.
I’d been thinking about what I’d do to her when we found her.
Could I really bring myself to kill my son’s grandmother?
Could I allow my people to kill her? It was clear that she needed mental help, not to be murdered.
I promised Donna that if anything ever happened to her, I’d take care of her mom.
I’d been doing that. I paid off her house and car, plus I gave her money every month.
I called to check on her, when I couldn’t stop by, and sent her flowers every week.
If she ever needed anything, she was free to reach out to me.
“Daddy, you’re crying,” Nayelli said, sitting up.
I quickly wiped my face. “I’m okay.”
“Grandpa Stanley said it’s okay for men to cry because you have feelings and you hurt too.”
“I know, baby.”
“You can cry on my shoulder.”
She patted her shoulder and opened her little arms to me. I would never deny her a hug, so I rested my head on her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her.
“It’s okay, Daddy,” she said, patting my back. “I got you.”
When she kissed my head like I always did her and KJ, my shoulders involuntarily began to shake.
I loved this little girl so fucking much.
She hadn’t been in my life long, but she had no idea how much she was saving me right now.
Before she came out, I was close to leaving the house to find something or someone to take my anger out on.
The way I was feeling, I was sure to fuck some shit up.
“Everything okay?” I heard behind us.
I looked up to see Neha with a nervous look on her face. I’d barely said a word to her the last three days, but she was always right by my side. She’d taken a short leave of absence to be with me during this time. Honestly, I didn’t know if I would have made it through this without her.
Even if I couldn’t eat, she gave me Ensures to make sure I had something on my stomach.
She took care of Nayelli and I, all while being emotional about this herself.
I heard her cries in the shower. I could hear her praying over me every night and every morning.
She’d been with my sisters, going all over the city to see if they spotted any sign of the car Ms. Anita left in.
To say she was my rib was an understatement.
She was exactly what Donna wanted for me.
“We’re good, Mommy,” Nayelli said, wiping my face. “Daddy just needed a good cry.”
Neha smiled softly. “Dinner is ready. Go wash up.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She kissed my cheek before hopping down from the trampoline and heading back inside. I slid to the edge and lit my blunt again, taking a long pull from it.
“Can you try to eat something for me, baby?” Neha asked softly.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You still need to eat. I don’t want you to pass out.”
“Baby—”
“No. I’m putting my foot down. Come inside. Sit at the table and eat something. At least three bites of everything on the plate and I’ll let it go.”
She reached for my hand. For a moment, I stared at her while puffing on the blunt.
It just so happened that my stomach made a liar out of me and growled at that very moment.
She pursed her lips and cocked her head to the side.
With a heavy sigh, I put out the blunt out and took her hand.
Sliding off the trampoline, I allowed her to lead me into the house.
Much to my surprise, my siblings and their spouses were there, along with my mom and Pops. They all looked at me with sympathy, and I hated that shit. My mother came over to hug me. Her eyes were bloodshot red, and I could tell she’d been crying.
“Hi, baby,” she said, sniffling.
“Hey, Ma.”
Pops was next. He pulled me into a strong hug and kissed my temple.
“Hey, Son.”
“Hey, Pop.”
My siblings all gathered around to hug me one by one, and I was ready for all of them to get the fuck out. I loved that they wanted to be here, but I really didn’t need them making me feel even worse.
“What are y’all doing here?” I asked.
“We just wanted to lay eyes on you,” Deuce said.
“I just saw y’all yesterday.”
“So,” Smoke said. “You need us right now. Where else are we gonna be?”
“Unless y’all have some new information, I really don’t want to see anybody right now.”
They all just stared at me in silence, nobody making a move to leave. I shook my head.
“I’m gonna go take a drive,” I said, brushing past them.
“Kerrion,” my mother called.
I kept walking and went to grab my keys.
“Kerrion Jamel Dillinger!”
“What!” I yelled, turning around.
My father immediately grabbed her because I knew better than to yell at my mother. My siblings parted like the Red Sea, each of them looking in different directions.
“Let me go, Stanley,” my mother said calmly.
“I can’t do that, Tay.”
“I’m not gonna hurt him. He wants to take a drive, then we’re gonna take a drive. Let. Me. Go.”
Pops released her, raising his hands in surrender. She cracked her neck as she took steps toward me. Tavia Jenkins was small compared to me, but her bark was nothing compared to her bite. As soon as she made it to me, she grabbed me by the collar and yanked me to her.
She was damn near nose to nose with me as she spoke lowly. “Don’t you ever in your fucking life disrespect me like that, you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She grabbed my ear and dragged me to the door. “Come get your ass in this car. Senior!”
I could hear Pops’ heavy footsteps behind us as she opened the door and continued to drag me by the ear.
“Ouch, Ma. Damn!”
She stopped and grabbed my lips, twisting them like she used to when I was a chap.
“And watch your goddamn mouth! I keep telling y’all I’m not one of your little friends. Open my damn door.”
She mushed me as she released my lips. I stared at her for a moment before walking to her car and opening the door. She climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Get your ass in here. Front seat, in case I have to backhand your ass. Senior, get in the back.”
She slammed the door so hard I thought the window might shatter.
“You heard her,” Pops said, opening the back door.
I kissed my teeth as I opened the passenger side and climbed in.
Putting on my seat belt, I reclined my seat and closed my eyes.
I could hear my mother chuckle as she pulled off but knew she found nothing funny.
We rode in silence for a little while before my mother pulled off on the side of the road.
She turned to me and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at her.
“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” she said softly.
“My heart hurts for you and KJ. I know you feel helpless. You have the right to be upset. You have the right to be scared and angry. Cry as much as you need to. But you cannot give up. You have to be strong because that little boy needs you. Where you can’t be strong, you have an entire family that will give you their strength. Stop pushing us away.”
“She took my son, Ma. I’m his father. I failed to do the one thing I was put on this Earth to do and that was protect him.”
“Stop putting this on you. There’s no way you could’ve known she would’ve done anything like this. You left your son with someone that you loved and trusted. Someone that loved him.”