Chapter 15 #2
Of course she’d want me to say hi to Nicklas.
She sees the best in him. I huff out something that might pass for a laugh, but my attention is already slipping, caught somewhere between the curve of her smile and the fact that none of this—her, the boys, the easy way we fall into these moments—is actually mine.
She gives a little wave, fingers wiggling, and rolls up the window.
And I just stand there on the stoop. Like an idiot.
Watching her pull away and wanting—God, wanting—to tell her to forget the date.
To stay. To come inside, sit on the couch, let the boys argue over a movie while we pretend this is something real and not just… borrowed time.
But I don’t.
Because I’m not the guy for her. I’m on the road, busy with captain duties. How can I possibly be the guy her kids need? Best to keep my emotional distance, because if I let more happen, if I let them in, I’ll only end up disappointing them and breaking hearts all over again.
I stand there until her car disappears out of sight. Marbles shifts in my arms, and I look down at him, his little face tipped up like he’s waiting for me to get it together.
“What do you think, buddy?” I ask quietly, scratching under his chin. “Have I lost my marbles?”
He lets out a soft meow, like he’s got an opinion on that, and I huff out a laugh I don’t quite feel. I pull him closer, tucking him against my chest, and he melts into me like it’s the most natural place in the world to be. Doesn’t take more than a few seconds before he’s out cold.
I shake my head, smiling despite everything. “The boys wore you out, huh?”
Or maybe it’s just…this house. All that noise, all that life, and then, silence. I carry him over to his bed, setting him down gently. He barely stirs, just snuggles deeper into the fluff like he’s claiming it, like he belongs here.
Like they belong here.
I straighten slowly and look around.
Too quiet.
Way too fucking quiet.
The kind of quiet that creeps in and starts filling your head with thoughts you don’t want to have.
“Yeah,” I mutter, dragging a hand over my face. “Nope. Not doing this tonight.”
I grab my coat from the closet and head out before I can talk myself out of it.
I’m not in the mood for a beer. Or people.
Or anything, really. And yet somehow, ten minutes later, I’m pushing open the door to Kilting Around like it’s muscle memory.
Warmth hits me first. Then noise. Laughter. Glasses clinking. Normal.
I spot Nicklas and Jaxon right away. What is Jaxon doing here on a Saturday night?
I unzip my coat and drop into the chair beside them. “What’s up?”
“Book club,” Jaxon says, like that explains anything.
“…Ah.” I nod slowly, pretending I follow.
He smirks. “The girls get together once a month, remember?”
I don’t really remember. “Right.” Of course I’d know that…if I had a girl.
“Maria and the boys at your house?”
“No.”
“Maria used to be part of the book club but she hasn’t been there lately. I guess she’s busy with the boys and Marbles.”
And university courses, but I don’t say that, because it’s our secret.
“Oh, right. She’s on that double date with Tanner and Maeve,” Jaxon says.
My jaw tightens before I can stop it. I play it off, shrugging like I don’t give a shit. Like the idea of her sitting across from some guy right now, laughing, smiling like she did in my driveway five minutes ago, doesn’t make me want to put my fist through something.
“How’s your little kitten?” Nicklas asks, dragging my attention back.
I shake my head, huffing out a breath. “Marbles is fine.”
The door swings open again, letting in a blast of cold air, and two women who make a beeline straight for Nicklas.
“Speaking of kittens,” he purrs. “Meow.”
Jesus.
Nicklas stands, walking away to greet his bunnies.
Jaxon glances at me. “You good?”
“Yeah,” I say, a little too quick. “Just tired. Who knew a kitten would be so much work?”
He laughs. “Come on. Let’s have a game of pool.”
I push to my feet, grateful for something to do with my hands, my head—anything. He racks the balls and I force my concentration on the game. We play for a good half hour and then turn when the door opens and in walks Gunther and Noah. I pause, watching them shake water off their coats.
“Book club,” Jaxon says again, like he’s narrating my confusion. “Apparently they’re reading some hot m/m hockey romance. They’re making it into a movie.”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “I heard.”
Didn’t. Not until right now. And there it is again, that weird, nagging feeling. Like I’m on the outside of something. I’m the captain. I’ve got the respect, the team. But somehow…I missed this. The girls have their thing. The guys get kicked out and end up here.
I let out a quiet laugh, shaking my head at myself.
I want to be kicked out of the house.
What the fuck am I even saying?
“Partners?” Gunther calls, running his fingers through his wet hair.
“Is it raining?” I ask, frowning as I glance toward the door.
“Pouring,” Noah says.
And just like that, my stomach drops. Dark roads.
Rain hammering down. Shit visibility. Goddammit.
I should have driven the boys tonight. Lucas is still a new driver, and…
The thought cuts off sharply when my phone pings.
I snatch it up, heart already hammering in my chest, and the second I see the screen, I’m halfway to the door before I even read the message.
It’s from Lucas.
Emergency.
Everything else—the bar, the beer, the noise—disappears in a heartbeat.
I don’t even think. I move. Fast.