Chapter 17 #2
I tug at the collar of my sweatshirt. “Hard to do when she wants space from me right now. I was hoping she might bring Eli to class this week. I have something big planned for the families next time, being the last class before Christmas. But I know she’s busy with finals.
I’m sure we’ll iron things out, eventually. ”
“I hope so. I think you’re the best thing Stella never knew she had.” She reassures with a squeeze on my arm. Aiden comes over, carrying his gear bag, all packed up for the night.
“I’m ready to go, Grandma.”
“Oh, say, Eli, can you drive him home? There are a few items I need to pick up from the grocery store for the party this weekend, and he still has to do his homework before bed.”
“But Mom told you before we left she has everything from the store we need,” Eli interjected, tilting his head at her.
“Uh, yes, but…” she chortles, and I’m on to her game, giving her the side-eye. “You know how much you love my chocolate pudding and Nilla wafer pie. I wanted to make it especially for your party this weekend.”
I play along. “I’ll get Aiden home. No problem.”
Once we’re out the door, and Eli runs ahead to my van, she pats my forearm reassuringly, or does she cop another feel of my muscles?
“Don’t you worry about a thing, Eli. I’ll get Stella there for the last class.” Turns out Marjorie is becoming an ally.
Across town, I drop Aiden off at the house and pop in, hoping Stella will give me a minute of her time.
He runs to his room to do his homework. Unfortunately, she’s in a study group online at the dining room table, discussing current state laws for special education.
None of what they discuss makes sense to me.
From my spot in the kitchen, observing her, what I do understand is the stress wearing on her—bloodshot eyes, lines etched deep into her forehead. She’s still beautiful. And wearing my old college jersey over leggings? Fucking lethal.
But she needs tender loving care, and maybe a massage, even a week away at a spa. I snort to myself because the likelihood of me getting her to agree to that is slim.
I need to get out of here and leave her be. Because this isn’t fair to see her like this, not to my heart, or to my cock.
I’m halfway to the garage, keys in hand, when I hear her say, “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”
“Eli?” she calls.
“Yes?” I shove my hands into my pockets; otherwise, I might carry her to my bed, get her naked, and make her see how thick, long, and sorry I am for saying I wanted to beat up her ex.
“Where’s Mom?” She asks.
“Grocery store.”
“Oh? Well, thanks for bringing Aiden home.”
Home. Sure. To my place—the one I wanted to share with her that has somehow become awkward territory.
“When is your final exam?” I ask leaning against the wall.
“Friday. Then the semester is over, and I have six glorious weeks on break until the next one starts. Of course, Jerrod arrives in town Friday night,” she rushes the end.
“And he’s staying…?” Don’t even say right here.
“At the hotel down the block from the shop.”
“Good. I’ll steer clear of it. In fact, if it’s okay with you, I’d rather he not be here at the house at all.”
“Understood. Well, I should get back to my group call. I’ll see you soon.”
I watch her sashay away into the kitchen, where she takes out the aspirin and downs a couple. Fuck it. I follow her in. “Have a headache?”
“The tension up my neck and back of my head is brutal.”
“Like the ones you used to get in college? You remember the remedy for that, don’t you?” I rub my hands together to warm them up, and I softly, slowly caress the area. My fingers knead her muscles, thumbs pressing on pressure points. I work up and out into her scalp, and repeat the process again.
“Oh, God. I forgot how magical your hands are,” she moans, lolling her head forward.
“I always knew exactly how to get you to relax,” I whisper close to her ear. “How much longer do you have to study?”
“A couple more hours at least. Speaking of… I’d better get back to it.” She steps out of my hold with a sheepish grin. “Thanks for the massage.”
“No problem. I’m always happy to help you, Stella, but you know that.” For added emphasis, I try out that little cherub face Aiden showed me. Not sure it works at my age.
“Mom, I need help with my math homework,” Aiden calls from his room.
“In that case, since you’re happy to help… ” She cocks her head and gestures down the hall.
I chuckle and shrug out of my jacket and scarf and head to his room.
Later, after Aiden goes to sleep, Stella’s still with the study group.
I’m exhausted and can’t face another night on the rink couch.
I decide I’m staying here; even if I sleep on the living room sofa, I’ll give her space and time.
For now, I lay down in bed and wait for her to finish, falling into a light sleep fast, but alert to every noise in the house.
It’s late when I hear her crawl into bed behind me. Everything inside of me, and especially my cock, roars awake, begging me to turn around and take her in my arms. I debate whether I should let her have the bed to herself. But I don’t move; what we have right now feels too fragile.
A few breaths later, she turns to me, her cheek on my back, and an arm and a leg draped over me.
Her little spoon wraps around my big spoon, locking me in place, and that’s when I feel certain, somehow, we’ll be okay.
We may not get much resolved tonight, but we’re still here, still fighting for each other. I sleep like a baby all night long.