Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
JADE
Present
Avoiding Xander could be listed under the top skills on my resume at this point.
Since the morning I woke up in his arms, I’ve been able to keep up my disappearing act without fail.
But that all stops now as I lock up my house and get in the car with Stone and Hazel.
Their security team sits in another vehicle idling at the curb.
The driver jogs around the side of the SUV and opens the door for me before taking my luggage and stowing it in the back with the other bags.
Hazel greets me with a one-armed hug. “Good morning.”
“Is it?” I squint out into the blue gray early dawn light. “I can’t remember the last time I was up and ready before the sun.”
“It’s worth it for the last two weeks in our own beds, though,” Stone says from the front seat.
“Fair.” I put my seatbelt on and try to relax into the supple leather seat.
After ten minutes of continually shifting in the chair, I realize relaxation isn’t happening.
I’m going to have to confront the fact that escaping Xander will not be possible starting as soon as we’re brought to the tour buses.
If Hazel wasn’t with us, I’d put myself back on the security bus like I always have before, but leaving her alone with the guys feels like leaving a soldier behind on the battlefield. I can’t do that.
Stone turns in his seat and looks at me with a puzzled expression on his face. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Why?” I lean toward the middle of the cabin to get a better look at him.
“Just trying to figure out why you’re so fidgety.”
“Oh.” I shoot a glance at Hazel.
“What’s up?” Stone asks again. “Is there something going on with the band that we should know about?”
“No,” I say quickly. “I’d tell you if there was something you needed to know.”
“Alright,” he draws the word out, still suspicious. “Did Xander do something?”
“Why?” I lean forward. “Has he said anything?”
“Not to me.” He narrows his eyes behind his glasses. “What did he do?”
“Nothing.”
“Jade.”
“Tyler.”
“Don’t government name me,” Stone says, turning back around. “I will find out what’s going on.”
“Let me know when you do because I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I turn to Hazel. “How is your mom doing? How was New York?”
“She’s okay, I think. Stone wants her to move into his townhouse.”
“And retire,” he adds. “The woman is a saint, and we can take care of her from now on.”
Hazel looks over at him with such pure, unadulterated love that my eyes sting.
Their love is so powerfully evident to anyone within their radius.
Watching her bloom from a shy, anxious woman into this powerhouse of love and talent has been the most incredible thing to watch.
And any worries we had about Stone’s sobriety have completely eased.
Obviously, there’s always a chance for relapse, but he’s been rock solid this tour.
“Your mom is wonderful,” I agree. I’ve met her several times now, and I see her reflected in Hazel. I only wish I had been able to get to know her grandmother better, too. She was a hoot in Kansas City.
Hazel reaches over and squeezes my hand in thanks. She pulls her phone out after releasing my hand. I go back to trying to relax. My phone lights up with an incoming text notification in my lap. I look down and see a text from Hazel waiting.
Hazel
Xander?
Yeah
Hazel
What happened?
After the last show in LA he asked me to come over and I ended up falling asleep there
Hazel
!!!
Did something happen?
No, he made me blueberry pancakes and we took a walk on the beach
While I was waiting for him to grab his keys I fell asleep and he claims he felt bad waking me so he carried me to his room
When I woke up the next morning I was curled around him
Hazel
OMFG
Hazel
Are you going to give him another chance?
I shouldn’t
I technically work for him
There’s a power imbalance
Hazel
Hot
I chuckle. She would say that.
He broke my heart once, I don’t want to let him do it again
Hazel
Maybe he can fix what he broke
I could lose my job
Hazel
They won’t fire you
They wouldn’t. I know that. But if I gave him a chance, and he hurt me a second time, I couldn’t keep working for the band. It’d be too hard.
We’re the last to arrive at the buses. I climb the stairs last, each step feeling heavier than the last. As soon as I turn the corner, I feel the weight of Xander’s gaze on me. My body comes alive as she always does.
Traitor.
I keep my eyes forward as I carry a duffel of lounge clothes for the bus to my bunk. I toss the bag down and take a steadying breath. There’s some work I need to get done on the ride to Arizona, so I pull out my iPad and AirPods.
Darren sits at the table, his laptop open in front of him while he violently assaults the keys. I sit down across from, intentionally putting Xander at my back to keep from making eye contact.
“What’d the computer do to you?” I ask as I turn on the iPad.
He looks up at me from under his glasses. “Just arguing with a radio station in Dallas. They want the guys to do a meet and greet before the show.”
I wince. “They can’t do them before.”
He runs a hand through his thick, dark hair. “Tell these assholes that.”
Hazel drops down on the bench beside me and pulls out her laptop. “Mind if I work with you?”
“By all means.” Darren tosses his arm over the back of his bench seat and scowls at his screen as if it could travel through the internet to the people he’s communicating with.
He glances up as Tobias walks past, and the anger etched into his face temporarily eases while the guys go back into their little traveling studio they put on the bus.
The three of us settle into our work while the band works on new songs in the back. Occasionally their laughter and music carries up to us, and the three of us share a smile. Eventually Hazel finishes whatever she was doing and closes her laptop before walking to the back of the bus.
“They’re so cute,” I say without looking up from my work.
“Sickening, really,” Darren says.
Movement from the back of the bus catches my eye, and when I look up, I find Xander coming right at me.
He gives me a shit-eating grin. The dimple that is my perpetual undoing on full display.
I made the mistake of lavishing it with kisses and praise when we were younger, so he knows full well the effect it has on me.
He slides arm behind me as he plops down on the seat. “You’ve been avoiding me, Freckles.”
“No. I’ve been busy.” I shift my weight toward the window. “Not everything revolves around you.”
“Not everything.” He leans over putting his lips close to my ear. “But there was a time you did,” he whispers.
Darren looks back and forth between us. “I can’t handle whatever you two are going to start right now.” He slides off the bench and carries his laptop back to his bunk.
“Happy? You chased him off when he’s trying to do you guys a favor.” I tilt my body away from Xander’s warmth.
“He’ll be fine.” Xander shifts his body away, giving me a little room. “I won’t be if I don’t find out why you haven’t been around the past week.”
“Because I have a life outside of you and the band. I was able to do everything from home.”
“So it doesn’t have anything to do with you waking up clinging to me?”
I scoff. “Of course not.”
“Right.” He runs his thumb along his bottom lip.
My eyes follow the motion. At one point I had the shape of those lips memorized. I know how they felt against mine, how they tasted. I can’t help but wonder if it’d be the same now, if I gave in and let myself feel just once.
Maybe it’d be terrible. What if I had romanticized what we had because I was young?
There’s a chance he’s actually a terrible kisser or awful in bed.
I just didn’t have much experience to reference it against. Because I’ve definitely been with my fair share of disappointing men.
Would giving him one last chance in my bed finally free me from his spell?
I push those thoughts from my mind. Even allowing the thought to pass through my mind is a terrible idea. I press my thighs together and cross my legs at the ankle, annoyed that even thinking about him in that way has warmth building in my core.
“Do you have ants in your pants or something?”
“No. I’m just being crowded against the wall by an overgrown asshole.”
He makes a humming noise in the back of his throat. “I don’t think that’s it. You’re all squirmy.” His voice carries a heat I haven’t heard in a long time. He wraps a tendril of my hair around his finger. “It makes me think of all the times I had you squirming before.”
The rasp in his voice sends shivers racing along my skin. Thank fuck I decided to wear leggings and a crewneck on the bus. I hate how easily he can affect me. His words. A single heated glance, and my body responds like no time has passed. Like he didn’t shatter me to pieces.
The tension breaks when Tobias walks in and swings open the fridge to grab a snack. He pulls out an energy drink and candy bar before dropping onto the bench across from us. “What’s up?”
I could reach across the table and kiss him. The three of us fall into light conversation. Xander gives me a bit more space at the table, but when he presses the outside of his thigh against mine, I don’t pull away. Just to prove to myself I’m not affected.