Chapter 5
5
GUY ‘FOSTER’
Chelsea, my nurse, who announces herself by name each time she walks in – which is helpful given my condition – was right: I can hear what’s happening around me. Thankfully, I can’t feel much, and I’m not really sure how I got here. What I do know is that since the moment I arrived, the woman I was briefly married to has been at my bedside, and the sound of her voice hurts something inside me that I’m pretty sure is more emotional than physical.
‘I think you should stay,’ Matty says softly.
Yes, Eve. If this isn’t some kind of nightmare and you’re really here, please, please stay. I don’t know what happened, but I need you.
‘ Why ?’ She sounds stunned. Which, seeing our history, I shouldn’t be surprised at.
‘He was distracted at the track today and considering the date, I have a feeling that distraction may have been you.’
‘ Me ?’
I don’t know if it’s the tone of her voice, or the fact that I’m following a conversation between the two of them while my head feels like it’s off-duty at best, but something about this conversation seems real. Like I’m not dreaming it. I didn’t know I was distracted earlier but it sort of makes sense that if I was, she’d be behind it. It’s pretty much been that way since I lost her.
‘You know our boy believes in signs – what do they call it? Fate? And considering his distraction and the fact that he ended up with you as his nurse, that seems fateful. I think he may have something to say about that when he wakes up.’
I do. I have shit to say! I can’t die right now – I’ve got regrets. Unfinished business on all fronts and the last thing I need to do is try to make this up to her when I’m a ghost, lingering around the hospital attempting to get her attention. Nobody’s got time for death at the height of their career! Come on, Foster, acknowledge her before she’s gone again.
It takes everything in me to attempt to squeeze her hand. A tiny ‘he’s right’ gesture that she’d not understand, but I know, and if I ever get this tube out of my throat and don’t feel like I’m floating on the edge of the matrix, I plan to tell her exactly that if she’ll hear me out.
‘Swedish meatballs!’ There’s panic in her voice, along with what sounds like relief.
‘What?’ Matty asks.
‘He squeezed my hand!’ She holds my hand tightly, grasping it with her other after a few seconds. ‘He squeezed my hand,’ she says in a near whisper, but I can hear the hope intertwined with the fear she’s probably feeling.
Seconds later, water flows from the sink as Eve chatters about what just occurred with whoever just entered my room. She’s worried about me waking up too early and risking my stability. I just want to know what the hell happened to put me in this position.
‘Hi, Foster, it’s your nurse, Chelsea. How are you feeling?’ she asks as if I can answer as she touches the side of my face. ‘I brought Dr Sully this time. Can you open your eyes, sweetheart?’
I am trying, lady – with everything in me, I’m trying. Ahhh! No. Not the bright light. Stay back, Foster. Don’t let this death shit tempt you. When the blinding light flashes into my other eye, I’m confused.
‘Might have just been a reflex,’ a male voice says.
‘No.’ Eve insists. ‘He responded to a statement.’
Yes, girl. Read my mind. I know you have the ability. That was part of what scared me about you the most.
‘Matty said something and Foster squeezed my hand as a response. I know it. Watch…’
A hand grabs mine again, and I know it’s Eve’s. She’s one of those women with dainty hands. We compared hands once. She’s got long, slender fingers, brightly painted nails at all times, thin gold bands on the forefinger of her right hand and thumb of her left, and skin as soft as silk. She always has a bottle of lotion in her purse because she can’t stand sandpaper hands – which I sometimes have.
‘Do you have something to say to me, Foster?’ she asks, her voice tinged with worry.
So many things, Evie. Some that might piss you off. But a guy’s got to start somewhere now that he’s got the chance, right? Squeeze her hand, Foster. Could you help me out here, brain? I know you work – nine times out of ten.
With everything in me, I focus on one thing. The signal from my brain moves through me like molasses. It’s not the speed at which my mind usually works. But finally, what feels like hours later, she squeals when my hand clutches hers.
‘Huh,’ the doctor says. ‘He may be coming to, but we’ve got him pretty sedated and would like to keep it that way for now, considering his condition. Chelsea, you want to up the meds a tad?’
Up the meds? No. But it’s too late, whatever meds they’re talking about she must have administered immediately because I feel as if I’m floating.
‘I know you’re worried, Eve, but for his safety, we need to keep him sedated,’ the man continues. ‘My main focus is getting him through the next couple of days. After that, we’ll re-evaluate and, if possible, ease up on it. Obviously, he can hear you, so talk to him?’ he suggests. ‘I usually advise light conversations, listening to music, reading, or reminiscing about happier times.’
Happier times. Reminder: you married this guy.
The room falls silent for a moment and all I hear is shuffling.
‘Hey—oh, sorry—didn’t realize it’d be a full house. Should I come back?’ the voice asks.
‘No, she works here,’ Eve says to someone.
‘I took lunch and wanted to come check on you.’ The woman, whose voice I don’t quite recognize, is speaking to someone in the room. Maybe me, but I’m not sure.
‘Who’s this?’ Matty asks.
‘This is Kait, my best friend,’ Eve tells him. ‘Kait, this is Matty, Foster’s trainer.’
‘Trainer. Friend. And stand-in father figure,’ Matty explains.
I’ve heard of Kait, but only met her a handful of times.
‘Gawd,’ Kait says, dragging out the word. ‘He looks awful. Will he make it?’
How awful? Am I grossly deformed? Get hit by a semi? Eaten by an alligator? Wait, aren’t I in Oregon? There are no alligators there to my knowledge. What happened to make me look awful?
‘I hope so,’ Eve and Matty say in unison, both of them stopping after their words.
‘Crazy,’ Kait says softly. ‘Anyway, I remembered something about him after we hung up and since someone brought these into the unit this morning, I thought we’d give it a shot and see if he’s still in there. You know what they say, do anything you can to remind them of who they are, to keep them fighting.’
‘Good idea,’ Matty says.
I hear a shuffling then it hits me – a whiff of something sweet and delicious. Doughnuts. A surge of hunger and anger rises in me. How dare this stranger bring in my favorite food when I’m unable to chew or even acknowledge their presence? I’m tired of this ‘induced coma’ they’re calling it. My mind works, y’all!
‘He’s gonna hate you for that,’ Eve says, inhaling deeply. ‘I’ve never met a box of doughnuts he didn’t devour on his own.’
‘I know – you mentioned that years ago. Maybe they’ll work like smelling salts?’ Kait says, clearly hopeful.
‘No smelling salts, ladies,’ the doctor says as he sanitizes his hands, ready to leave the room. ‘We want him sedated, until I say otherwise.’
If only I could communicate and tell them what’s happening in my head because my body feels like it’s rolling across ocean waves, bobbing through the water hoping for a rescue boat. In reality, I’ve got an itch on the back of my left knee worthy of amputation at this point, and the smell of my favorite food is luring me into a medically induced daydream while the veil between life and coma is thin.
Five Years Ago
I’m meeting Eve at Voodoo Doughnut, my favorite spot in Portland. There’s one in Orlando, but the original is always better. This place is like a portal to a world where all your wildest doughnut dreams come true. With its playful pink exterior and whimsical signage, Voodoo stands out among the surrounding buildings.
Inside, the atmosphere is lively and bustling. Every inch of wall space is covered in funky art and voodoo-themed decorations, giving off a vibe that’s equal parts carnival funhouse and rock concert venue. The scent of freshly baked doughnuts fills the air, mingling with the sound of cheerful chatter and upbeat rock music.
The display cases are packed with a variety of sweets, ranging from classic options like glazed and chocolate to more unconventional choices like the iconic Voodoo Doll doughnut, shaped like a gingerbread man and filled with raspberry jelly, complete with a pretzel stake through its heart. Other eye-catching options include the Bacon Maple Bar topped with crispy bacon strips and the Grape Ape boasting vibrant purple frosting dusted with grape flavoring. I love every single one.
As I enter the bustling shop, a staff member greets me with a cheerful, ‘Good morning!’ Their colorful attire and sleeves of tattoos add to the unique atmosphere of the place. ‘Need a recommendation? I’m considered a doughnut connoisseur.’
I order an assortment and snag a rare free table in the usually crowded indoor seating area. As I wait for Eve to arrive, my nerves start to get the best of me. It’s silly, really. How could I already be falling for this woman? We’ve only met once and have been chatting through text for a couple of weeks. But I feel something with each buzz of my phone. They say the heart never lies, and mine is beating faster than ever before – especially when I see her walking in.
Jay-sus. She’s even more stunning than I remembered. Her hair is hanging freely at about shoulder blade level, with a hint of a wave that could be natural or could be manufactured by a curling iron. She’s wearing a shiny black bomber jacket over a sheer white V-neck T-shirt, with an eggplant-colored bralette peeking out from underneath. Her torn jeans fit her perfectly, and her white Converse sneakers complete the effortless yet sexy look. I can’t take my eyes off her.
Her dark blue eyes sparkle with gold glitter on her eyelids, and she’s wearing bright red lipstick again. A pair of bangle-sized gold hoops dangle from her ears, and a delicate gold necklace with a cursive ‘e’ charm hangs at the base of her neck. She has multiple bracelets on one wrist, including a black rubber one with a single green stripe engraved with my riding number. Instantly, I recognize it as something she got at the event where we first met. She’s wearing my merch on our first official meeting – adorable.
As she approaches my table, she smiles. ‘Doughnut fan, are ya?’
I can’t help but grin back at her. I’ve set up a spread of Voodoo’s finest pastries and can’t wait to see which is her favorite.
I shrug nonchalantly. ‘There are two things I can never say no to: adrenaline rushes and doughnuts,’ I say with a mischievous grin.
She tilts her head, studying me with a confused expression on her face, but also showing genuine interest in what I have to say.
‘A doughnut-loving adrenaline junkie; who knew you were so complex?’ she remarks with a nervous grin. Her eyes linger on the sugary treats before me. ‘This place is like the extreme doughnut shop, isn’t it? So, tell me,’ she asks, ‘which one is your absolute favorite?’
I scan over the options, considering her question. ‘It depends on my mood,’ I reply. ‘Sometimes I crave the classic Voodoo Doll, while other times I can’t resist the allure of the Old Dirty Bastard.’
She laughs to herself. ‘Chocolate frosting, crumbled Oreos, and peanut butter… it’s enough to make anyone’s heart skip a beat.’
I laugh as well, leaning back in my seat and nervously running a hand through my hair. Curiosity gets the best of me. ‘Do we have the same favorite, Evie?’
Without hesitation, she reaches for the Old Dirty Bastard. ‘Perhaps,’ she says, not waiting a second to take a bite. ‘So, as someone from out of town, do you come here often?’ she asks, mouth full of doughnut.
I chuckle. ‘Only when I want to impress someone special,’ I respond with a sly wink.
‘Well then, color me impressed,’ she says, lifting her doughnut in a mock toast.
I raise my doughnut in response.
The playful banter between us is easy, a natural flow that makes me feel like I’ve known Eve for much longer than just these few interactions. As we both take a bite of our chosen pastries, a comfortable silence settles between us.
The atmosphere around us buzzes with energy, the mix of excited chatter and the sweet aroma of doughnuts creating the perfect backdrop for our growing connection. I find myself stealing glances at her, admiring the way her eyes light up with each enthusiastic topic we touch upon.
‘So, Miss Cassidy, what other hidden gems of Portland should I know about?’ I inquire, genuinely interested in her perspective on this city that she calls home.
Eve’s eyes narrow playfully as she leans back in her seat. ‘Ah, so you’re looking for insider tips now? Well, buckle up, because Portland has a lot more to offer than weird doughnut shops.’
She starts rattling off a list of quirky places and hidden gems around the city. From a tiny bookstore with a resident cat named Whiskers to a cozy speakeasy hidden behind an unassuming door in an alley, her excitement is infectious. I listen intently, hanging on her every word as she paints vivid pictures of each location with her animated descriptions. As she speaks, I can’t help but marvel at how effortlessly charming she is. Her passion for her city shines through in every recommendation, and I find myself falling even more under her spell.
‘Wow, I never knew Portland had so much to offer,’ I say, genuinely impressed by Eve’s knowledge of her city.
She chuckles, her eyes crinkling at the corners with amusement. ‘Oh, this is just the beginning. Portland is full of surprises if you know where to look.’
I lean in closer, intrigued by the idea of discovering more of this city with her by my side. ‘Then I’m counting on you to show me all the hidden gems only a true Portlander would know.’
A playful glint sparkles in her eyes as she nods, and her smirk widens into a grin. ‘How long are you here for?’
I playfully drum my fingers on the table, pretending to contemplate. ‘Hmm, let’s see… I could probably stick around long enough to explore a few of these “weird” places you speak of,’ I say.
Eve leans back in her seat again, crossing one leg over the other. ‘Well then, it’s settled. Consider me your official Portland guide until further notice,’ she declares with a mock air of authority, her tone light and playful.
A warm feeling spreads through me at the thought of spending more time with her. ‘I’ve never looked forward to anything more – besides, of course, this date.’
‘Date?’ she asks with a surprised smile. ‘Is that what this is?’
I shrug. ‘Did you try on more than one outfit?’
She drops her head, pink filling her cheeks. ‘Maybe…’
‘Me too, Evie. Me too.’
Relief fills her face and her shock at me titling this a date fades away as we both fall into an easy silence, savoring the last bits of our doughnuts as the noise of the shop surrounds us. It’s in these quiet moments that I find myself watching her closely, noticing the way her laughter lines crinkle when she smiles and how her eyes light up with every story she tells – and I realize I might be in Portland for years with this woman if I’m not careful.