Chapter 6
6
EVE CASSIDY
‘You took time off?’ Kait asks, surprise in her voice as we stand in line at the hospital Starbucks. She’s in her usual pastel-colored scrubs and I’m in black leggings, an oversized Timber hoodie, black Converse, with a bag stuffed full of things to entertain Foster hanging off one shoulder.
‘I only have a million vacation days stacked up, and HR wasn’t pleased with me calling in sick for three days in a row, so yeah. Gen thought this would be smarter because Dale is irritated with having to replace me last minute every morning.’
‘I get that, but you’re spending your vacation days at work, in the ICU, with your comatose ex-husband. That’s not healthy.’
‘Currently I’m concerned more about his health than mine. He’s alone, Kait. I can’t leave him until I know he’ll pull out of this. He’s got no one else. If it were you, Gen or Jess, I’d do the same,’ I offer, hoping she’ll understand.
‘That’s because you love us. We hate Foster, remember?’
Hate is a strong word. But one that I truly believed I felt except for one day a year until he showed up in my trauma room a few days ago. Now my insides are muddy and I can’t figure out what I feel, but I know I can’t let him do this alone.
‘Of course I remember.’ A break-up like that isn’t something you forget. ‘But honestly, how bad could things get with him? He can’t talk or work, and those are pretty much his biggest flaws, right?’
‘What are you going to do today if he can’t talk? Admire his pretty face?’
‘Noooo,’ I say. ‘I did that yesterday.’ And the day before, and the one before that too – not that I’m reminding her of that. ‘Today, I chose a variety of things. Cards, my iPad so I can annoy him with shows he hates, and a book; I may even clean out my purse while I’m here.’
‘Wow. Reading, binge-watching, solitaire, and purse cleaning; sounds like a full day. What it doesn’t sound like is a vacation. You do realize this could be the worst idea ever.’
‘Bad ideas are my secret talent, so I’m not sure why you’re so surprised. Anyway, I gotta go…’ I say, taking my latte from a barista that is not Adam.
‘Update me?’ Kait requests as I leave the shop.
‘Will do,’ I say over my shoulder as I head toward ICU.
Every day since they found out, she and Jess try to talk me out of stopping by to see Foster; what they don’t realize is I’m not just spending an hour a day with the man. I’ve been here from sunup to sundown, just watching him. Counting the beeps of the monitors for hours on end and memorizing all the parts of him I thought I’d forgotten. I had a dream about him last night and that hasn’t happened since I met him.
‘Eve!’ Chelsea greets me with a smile as I approach her. ‘How are you holding up?’
‘I’m good. How is he today?’ I ask, my voice laced with the concern that continues to linger, as I draw near the room where Foster is being treated.
‘There’s been some improvement,’ Chelsea replies, and for a moment, I feel relieved. But then a wave of nervousness washes over me.
‘Improvement?’
She nods. ‘He was wiggling his toes last night – on command,’ Chelsea says.
‘Really?’
Chelsea’s friendly smile grows even wider. ‘I think he may pull out of this sooner rather than later. Come on, I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear your voice again.’
I’m not so sure about that, but I follow her into his room anyway.
‘Oh, he’s got more color,’ I say. Those words leaving my lips surprise me as they’re what my mother always said to my sister and me after we’d been sick. It was like a reflex that I haven’t had in years.
I drop my bag onto the guest chair and approach his bed, brushing his hair from his forehead. His cheeks are pink, and his freckles are prominent this morning. To my surprise, his eyelids flutter at my touch.
‘See,’ Chelsea says, across his bed from me. ‘He even squeezed my hand this morning when I got here. His vitals are good, lab work is improving, and he’s starting to look less corpsey and more human, so I wouldn’t be surprised if his progress is enough to make the doctor ease up on the sedation soon.’
‘How long will it take him to wake up once they start that?’
‘Usually, it’s relatively quick,’ she replies with a smile. ‘He’ll be back to his old self in no time.’
‘Define quick?’ I ask. ‘Five minutes? Five hours? Five days? I’m not usually on this end of these situations.’
Chelsea laughs. ‘Excited to gaze into your husband’s eyes again, are you?’
The thought of this makes me giddy, which turns my stomach a little, making me wonder if this truly is the worst idea ever. I can’t imagine what he will say when he finally wakes up and finds me standing at his bedside.
‘You guessed it,’ I say.
‘How cute are you two?’ she gushes. ‘Every patient is different, so I can’t give you an exact time frame. But, if you’re not here when it happens, then I’ll call you so you can come in.’
‘Great,’ I say, worried. Note to self: block Chelsea’s number. I’m kidding – mostly.
‘Got plans for entertaining him today?’ Chelsea asks.
‘Yes,’ I say, walking to my bag and pulling out my ‘plans’. ‘I’m going to read to him from Matthew Perry’s autobiography and then catch up on Bachelor in Paradise . And I brought cards so I can kick his butt at poker.’
‘So sad about Matthew, isn’t it? Gone far too soon. Otherwise, sounds fun! I’ll leave you guys alone and I’ll be back later.’ Chelsea exits the room, leaving just the two of us for the fourth day in a row.
‘Hey, Fost,’ I say, sitting at the chair near his bedside. ‘It’s me again, your “wife” – sorry for lying about that by the way. I just couldn’t let you do this alone, if you’re wondering why I didn’t include the “ex” part of that title. Anyway, today we’re reading about Matthew Perry. I don’t know if you follow anything other than adrenaline-filled sports, but he died recently, and I’m not ashamed to tell you – mostly because you can’t laugh in response – I shed a tear. Truthfully, I turned on Friends that night and full-out sobbed for the first few episodes, but then I realized Chandler Bing would live forever with only a click of my remote. Not that you care. If I remember correctly, you aren’t a sitcom watcher. But it’s OK because I know you like music, and if you’re not into this story, next up is the Britney Spears autobiography, and that one will be a wild ride, I bet.’
‘Mr Foster.’ Dr Sully walks in – mid-chapter – greeting Foster cordially. ‘Mrs Foster,’ he says, giving me a knowing look.
‘Ha ha,’ I mouth.
‘I’m hearing good things about your progress.’ Jeremy (aka Dr Sully) looks at Foster’s monitors, does a small exam, listening to his heart and lungs, and then turns to me. ‘How do you feel he’s doing, Nurse Eve?’
‘Well, I’m less anxious he’s going to die. And he looks better. I feel like he’s much more stable than he was.’
‘You are correct, Miss Cassidy. I think today may be “wake up Foster day”.’
‘Really?’ I ask.
‘I’m going to run it by another physician and be in with our decision this afternoon. Sound good?’
‘I’ll be here,’ I say.
My heart races in my chest knowing they’re considering ‘mission unsedate Foster’. It’s one thing to be here when he can’t talk to me, call me stupid nicknames he knows I’ll hate, or look into my soul with his intoxicating crystal blue eyes, but knowing that soon he may know I’m here makes me nervous. What will he say? Get out? What the hell are you doing here ? Hello there, Jellybean ? (That stupid nickname). I’m not excited to find out.
I read for a while longer, occasionally glancing over at him. He looks so peaceful, as if he’s sleeping. I wonder what he’s dreaming about. As for me, my mind is wandering. I’ve read the same page twice, retaining exactly nothing as I remember the last time I saw him and all the stupid things we fought over. Please don’t let him be dreaming about all that.
My phone buzzes on the table beside me, my sister’s name flashing across the screen.
‘Did you finally pop?’ I joke.
‘Why are you there again?’ she asks, her tone demanding an answer.
Damn it, Kait.
‘Have you forgotten the disaster that break-up was?’
‘No,’ I moan. ‘But you and Kait are great reminders.’
‘Well, the memories of him that you shared with me are intruding my thoughts. You can’t go back to a guy who never cared you left, Eve.’
‘I’m not here to take him back,’ I say, defending myself. ‘Which is why the second he opens his eyes, I may run out of this hospital like an Olympic athlete. But for now, even he deserves to have someone here for him, doesn’t he?’
Jess lets out a heavy sigh, her frustration palpable. ‘Evie, listen, I know he’s pretty, but there are countless pretty men who don’t let the supposed love of their life walk away without following them or even asking why. Fall in love with any of them instead?’
I scoff. ‘As if it were that easy. I tried that, remember? That one was an even bigger disaster than this one.’
For a second she’s silent because she knows I’m right. ‘You’re acting insane.’
‘And you’re being overbearing. I’m completely sane, I’m just acting like someone who gives a crap about a guy she once loved. In sickness and in health, remember?’
‘You can’t break out the vows when they work for you,’ she moans.
‘I can’t let Foster suffer through this alone. No one deserves that.’
‘I’m sure they’d send in a priest so he wouldn’t be completely alone.’
I gasp. ‘Rude. Clearly, you’re the sister without the soul.’
She laughs into the phone like she’s proud of it. ‘That’s right. If need be, I’ll drive my enormous ass down there and drag you out.’
‘Do not, Jess. Also, I’d really appreciate it if you and Kait would stop discussing me and the situation behind my back. I know what I’m doing. I’m a full-grown adult. He’s nice to look at, and I haven’t had a vacation from work in years. Let me enjoy this.’
‘Holy shiitake mushrooms, Eve. You’re considering this your vacation? Vacations include tropical drinks and reading by a pool.’
‘I’m reading; and as for the tropical drinks, I momentarily considered sneaking in a hard lemonade, but I don’t need that reputation – though it would make these conversations easier. Also, I have a pool, in the basement. I’ll be there three times a week, just as I always am, with my elderly aerobics class and baby swim class. Maybe tomorrow I’ll lay out a towel and bask, just to appease you, since I won’t have to jet to work immediately afterward.’
‘Yes, please, I’ll take that photo proof of you basking at the edge of an indoor basement pool.’ She says the words sarcastically, but I know she’s being serious. She doesn’t want every minute of my day to be Foster, but whether I’m in his room or not, he’s on my mind.
‘I’m warning you now; this could all go completely tits up, and when it does…’
‘As usual, you’ll be the first to say “I told you so.” I know, Jess. It’s not going to happen, though. Foster probably hates me as much as I hate him – hence him not coming after me all those years ago. He’ll likely demand I leave. And I will, happily.’ Just saying the words makes my heart feel anything but happy.
‘Why don’t I believe you?’
‘Because I’m your little sister and you never do. Listen, I appreciate your concern, Jess, I do. I’m just hoping to get some good karma on my side when it comes to love – if it even exists. Maybe I’ll use this as a reminder of what to avoid in the future. This time I’ll take notes.’
‘Eve,’ she says sympathetically. ‘I know you’ve been hurt and I feel for you, I really do. But I have a sinking feeling this will all go terribly wrong, and you’ll end up hurt again. I’d rather not see you go through that.’
‘Lessons learned is all heartbreak is. You’d know that if you hadn’t married the first boy you met,’ I tease. ‘I’ll live through this. I promise, Jess, I’m being careful. And if anything does go wrong, I’m a survivor. A cynical, cold-hearted survivor.’
Amid a deep sigh, Jess reluctantly utters, ‘Fine. You’re an adult, and you can make your own decisions. I just have opinions and your best interests in mind. He doesn’t.’
‘Not sure he’s currently got anything on his mind, but I get it.’ How will we really know if she’s right about that until he comes to?