Chapter 26
26
EVE CASSIDY
‘Do you think less of me?’ I ask, looking up at Foster as the swing slowly comes to a stop.
‘Less? Haill no,’ he responds, accent front and center, with a chuckle. ‘Am I scared? A little. But I’m impressed as fuck too. From the angle I witnessed it, I don’t doubt you just taught him a lesson he’ll never forget.’
‘Good.’ I let out a sigh of relief. At least someone’s on my side.
‘That was Cayden, huh?’ Foster asks, already knowing the answer.
‘Yeah.’ The word tastes bitter.
Tonight was the first time I’ve seen Cayden since we broke up a year ago. And the sight of him brought back all the pain and anger that had been simmering inside me.
‘He cheated and told me after I’d made a speech at our engagement party – which was me spewing some nonsense about him being such a great man and the love that changed everything for me.’ I glance over at Foster, who’s listening intently. ‘Great man he was not. That one hurt pretty good, and humiliation has never stung the way it did that day. So, I knew I’d be pissed when I saw him,’ I admit, ‘but not to the point of physically hurting the guy.’
‘He’s an asshole. I should have hit that tool,’ he says, clenching his one good fist.
‘No,’ I say quickly, shutting the whole thing down. There’s been plenty of violence for me tonight. ‘He’s not worth it in your condition.’
‘For the record,’ Foster says, ‘he did deserve what you gave him.’ His tone is as serious as I’ve ever heard.
‘A bruised voice box?’ I ask, finally laughing about it.
‘Don’t forget the likely bruised Adam’s apple.’ He smiles, chuckling with me. ‘You’re one hell of a nurse, but I think if you ever needed a change, boxing might be your thing.’
‘How flattering.’
Our laughter dies down and he sighs audibly. ‘Can I ask you a serious question?’ His arm is propped on top of the bench and he’s still wearing the cowboy hat with stitching on the rim ’cause it’s all I could find.
‘Why not? You’ve already seen the worst of me.’
‘First of all, he’s at the top of my shit list for making you feel that way at all. Not a second of that was the worst of you. It was the best. You stood up for yourself, fearlessly. I’ve never been prouder of you than I am right this second.’
A small smile tugs at my lips. It’s nice to have someone looking out for me.
‘Not that I could hurt him now,’ Foster continues, ‘but I volunteer if it needs to happen in the future. Is that clear?’
His protectiveness and loyalty toward me are heart-warming. I remember how safe I always felt in his presence. Even now, I’m not triple-checking that I locked my doors.
‘That’s sweet, but not necessary,’ I assure him with a small smile.
‘Onto my question,’ Foster says, his tone shifting from protective to nervous. ‘Now that you’ve faced us both – post-break-up – is there one of us who hurt you more than the other?’
How do I even begin to answer that when the answer is so obviously him ? I hurt for Foster in the trauma room that day – to the point of nursing him back to health willingly. Tonight, I chose violence with Cayden and hit him because I hate him. Truly.
‘Are you sure you want to know the honest answer?’
He forces a smile and tilts his head, looking anything but sure. ‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘Lay it on me, Jellybean.’
Five Years Ago
‘Congratulations!’ my aunt Diana exclaims as she hugs me warmly. ‘What does he do?’ she asks.
‘He’s an FMX rider.’
She stares at me blankly.
‘What’s that?’ she asks after a beat of uncomfortable silence.
‘He rides motorcycles, professionally. He’s won best in his sport at multiple X Games, and Red Bull is one of his sponsors.’
‘A real Evel Knievel, huh?’
I cock my head. ‘Eh – if you overlook Evel’s alcoholism and wife-beating, I guess sort of.’
‘Does he make money doing that?’
‘More than I’ll make as a nurse.’ He risks his life, and I save them, yet he’ll make more in a year.
‘Is that so? Interesting. So, if I wanted to google the FMX, do I type it in just like that?’
I laugh under my breath. ‘Just don’t add on too many Xs and you should be fine.’
She nods, visibly making a mental note by tapping her temple.
‘When do you two plan on having babies? Do you want to start immediately, or are you considering enjoying a few years of honeymoon bliss first?’
I raise a quizzical eyebrow. Why is this question so commonly asked? Life isn’t a predetermined path that everyone must adhere to. We are not all the same. Sure, my family has preached (and followed) the ‘graduate high school, then college, find an impressive well-to-do spouse, and knock out some kids’ lifestyle, but we don’t all want the white picket fence in the ’burbs while we stay home as a submissive housewife cleaning, cooking, and popping kids out like a Pez dispenser. I haven’t even started my dream job yet.
‘We just got married last week. Any baby decisions are long down the road. Long . Maybe we’ll choose to have none at all.’
‘No children?’ she exclaims in surprise. ‘What do you plan to do with your life then? Who will be there to look after you as you grow older?’
‘Hopefully, someone with a medical degree,’ I joke. ‘Truthfully, Aunt Diana, why worry about the future when I’d rather focus on where I am and enjoy this party?’
‘Right. So, where is he? This Foster fella, introduce me.’ She glances around the room. ‘Your mom said he’s handsome, like a young Mark Ruffalo.’
I heard my mom say that recently and it caught me off guard because I don’t see it. I guess maybe the hair is similar. And obviously his handsome face.
‘Unfortunately, his schedule got in the way of today. He’s on a plane, but only just, and it’s an eight-hour flight.’
Her lips pinch into disappointment. She is definitely my mother’s sister. ‘He’s missing his own wedding reception? That’s not a great start, sweetheart.’
It’s not like they’ve booked the Plaza – or whatever the Portland equivalent to that would be. We’re literally standing in my great-uncle’s pizza shop. Once my mom learned I’d raced out and got married to some random dude, she wouldn’t let it settle without at least throwing us a reception. She said she’d forgive me for not inviting her to my wedding if I said yes. So here we are. In the middle of a wedding reception where only one half of the blissful couple has arrived.
I lift the iPad in my hand. ‘He’s not completely missing it. Once he’s allowed to turn on his electronics he’s going to attempt joining us via video.’
‘It’s cute,’ Jess says approaching us from the rear, a glass of champagne in her hand that she gives me, saving me from tackling Aunt Diana alone. ‘Like that scene from New Girl when Schmidt can’t make it to their wedding.’
Another ‘the lights are on but nobody’s home’ stare, her head moving between us. ‘Who?’
‘He’ll be here shortly,’ I say, waving the iPad and allowing my sister to steer me away from the partygoers who have questions and opinions galore.
‘Eve, honey.’ My uncle Steve steps in front of Jess and me. ‘One month? You think you know him after one month? Sweetie…’ He grabs my free hand. ‘I’ve been married to Leigha since you were a baby. She says things I never knew every single day. I bet you didn’t know he was going to miss this party?’
‘Well, no, I didn’t. But sometimes things happen – nobody’s perfect.’
Shall I remind you of your three-month stint in the clink for a ‘misunderstanding that was never revealed’, Uncle Steve?
He nods, repeatedly, as if I should still be talking.
‘You know how I am,’ I continue. ‘I like to follow my heart,’ I declare, fully aware of my tendencies.
‘I remember,’ he says. ‘The basketball player. He’s in our family photos. Who was that again?’
‘Josh,’ I say, preferring not to have him on my mind right now. It feels taboo to be discussing the man I thought I’d marry at sixteen while at my wedding reception to someone else.
‘Poor Josh. Had you two discussed breaking up when he went to college?’
‘Nope,’ I say, downing the champagne, completely over the entire day at this point.
My mom made it clear that I needed to be on my best behavior at this event. She knows that I tend to speak before I think. And while I usually don’t regret what I say, the same can’t be said for how my family receives it. So, I’m working on myself and taming my tongue for the sake of my future patients.
I glance across the room and catch sight of my mother. Her expression speaks volumes as she shoots me the ‘don’t say whatever you’re thinking’ look. I’d know it anywhere, as I get it often. She knows me so well that she can read my mind from a distance, especially regarding her annoying little sister.
‘Evie,’ Jess says, jabbing me with her finger. ‘The iPad is ringing.’
I glance down and notice the incoming FaceTime request, walking away from the crowd to greet him.
‘Hey,’ I chirp.
He smiles at the sight of me, grabbing his chest like he’s been shot by Cupid’s arrow. God, I wish he weren’t so handsome. Then I could actually tell him how disappointed I am that our marriage is starting with him being constantly on the road.
‘Hello, beautiful girl.’
I crack a smile, dropping my head to hide it. I’m mad at him so he can’t see it.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘You know I didn’t expect to miss any of this, but we got married without warning and I already had commitments. We didn’t really consider the after, you know?’
I nod. ‘I know. I’m not mad.’
‘Yeah, you are,’ he says, a slight knowing smile on his lips. ‘And I plan to apologize however I can while I’m in your presence, for the rest of our lives. But for now, all I can offer is me, and my new friend and seat-mate Dave, who has invited himself because it’s been a long time since he’s been to a wedding.’ He shakes his head slightly, a perplexed look on his face before panning the camera to an elderly man wearing dark-rimmed glasses.
‘Hello! I’m Dave. Congratulations!’
‘Who the hell is that?’ Kait asks, walking up behind me, my sister at her side.
‘Hello there. I’m Dave. Did you know this guy’s a professional cycler? Like Lance Armstrong!’
‘Motorcycles, Dave. I race motorcycles.’ We hear Foster’s voice before seeing his face.
‘Is that right?’ Dave asks as the camera finally fills with Foster’s gorgeous face.
I laugh. ‘This is not the wedding reception I always imagined.’
Fost frowns, his eyes moving to my right. I glance over my shoulder only to jump back at how close Kait and Jess are.
‘Would you two go away?’ I ask. ‘I promised you could carry him around to meet anyone you want later. For now can I speak privately? To my husband ?’
The two of them back off and I look back at the screen.
‘Your husband,’ he repeats the words. ‘I love the sound of that.’
‘Me too, but it’s still really weird to say!’
‘Evie?’
I look at his face. ‘What?’
‘You should move in with me. Get a job here. What do you think?’
My jaw drops. ‘I just got my Oregon nursing license and have an interview with OHSU tomorrow. You were excited for me. Now you’re asking me to move across the country and start the whole process over?’
He frowns, his eyes narrowing. ‘Will you at least think about it, like you asked me to think about moving there?’
Dang it. It’s been a month and he knows me enough to back me into a corner. Now I see his point.
‘Yes,’ I say. ‘I will think about it. We’re a team now, right?’
‘Right. I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine.’
‘As long as we both shall live,’ I say with a wink.
‘I love you, Jellybean,’ he says. ‘Now pass my face around the room and let your family interrogate me. I’ll call you later?’
‘You better,’ I say, blowing him a kiss and handing the iPad to my sister who gladly chatters as she walks away from me.
Now
‘Honestly, Fost, if I had to choose who broke me more, it’d be you.’ My voice trembles as I speak, nervously glancing up at Foster from the swing I’m on. I can’t believe he’s here, after all these years, and I’m admitting this stuff to him. Memories of the first time he let me down flood back and my heart aches. ‘When our relationship spiraled out of control, it changed me forever. I was so deeply in love with you that the pain that followed caught me by surprise.’
Foster nods silently, his head still lowered.
‘But I understand,’ I continue, swallowing past the lump in my throat. ‘You weren’t ready for marriage. Neither of us were. It just took me three months to realize it, and by then, it was too late.’ I pause, as regret floods my chest. ‘I’m sorry for how I ended things.’
I stop swinging and walk over to where he’s sitting, watching me intently like a protective parent. I sit next to him, one leg folded on the bench beneath me and the other hanging over the edge.
‘You left a note,’ he reminds me, his eyes never leaving mine. ‘Wasn’t I even worth a phone call? I came home to an empty house one day.’
‘I didn’t take everything,’ I protest weakly.
‘Empty of you ,’ he clarifies. ‘The only thing that mattered.’
‘I didn’t want to bother you.’
He reaches out and cups my cheek with his hand, his thumb brushing against my skin softly. ‘You were never a bother. You were the most important thing to me. But I had prior commitments that I couldn’t break.’
‘I understand that. But please be honest with me,’ I plead. ‘Was I just not important enough for you to take a small break and celebrate the big decision we made?’
‘Evie,’ he says, leaning closer to me. ‘You were more than enough for me. I didn’t know how to be married. But damn, I never expected to lose you so quickly. Man, if I could go back?—’
The sudden loud blaring of my phone cuts him off, startling us both. I pull it from my pocket and see my mother’s face flashing on the screen. She rarely calls me, so I immediately answer it.
‘Mom?’
‘Eve, the baby’s coming!’ her voice sings excitedly through the speaker.
‘The baby?’ I turn to look at Foster with wide eyes. ‘And I’m supposed to be there for that?’
‘It’s your nephew, Eve,’ she lectures. ‘This is a family event. It’s his birth day and you need to be here to welcome him into the world and celebrate. Unless you want Kait, who’s already here, to be his favorite auntie.’ I can almost hear her foot tapping as she speaks. ‘Hurry up and get here soon.’