Chapter 3
Jesse
Sitting in the back church pew, Mason’s on my left, followed by the rest of my family, and Lex is the only one to my right. We were almost late; she had to change again. What she had on first was not going to see the light of day.
As everyone stands and starts to sing the opening worship song, I catch a glimpse of a blonde-haired girl walking down the side aisle and stepping into a pew, and my heart skips.
My entire family looks down toward me, the same surprised expression on all five of their faces.
It’s Ella, my ex-girlfriend, former love of my life.
We dated through high school and a little after, but that was ten years ago now. I still think about her sometimes, wondering if she’s living the life she wanted, if she became a nurse. She never came back after college. I figured she stayed in Texas and got a job there.
I look at my entire family staring at me. “I see her,” I mouth back so they quit.
It’s not like I can go say hi right now, anyway.
I’m sure everyone in the room is going to want to talk to her as well.
Her parents were well-known and liked in the community, but like I said, it’s been years since they moved.
Glancing over at Lex, I can tell she’s clueless, looking in the opposite direction of Ella.
After the service, Lexie leaves to go to the bathroom, and my family immediately insists I go talk to Ella. I’m hesitant though; things between us didn’t end on great terms. She’s not the kind of person to flip me off or anything, but that doesn’t make it any less intimidating.
“If you don’t go talk to her, I will,” Cody threatens. I laugh and force my legs to make my way over.
“Ella, hey.” My voice is shakier than I anticipated.
Her face lights up when she turns and sees me, greeting me warmly with a hug. “Oh my gosh, hi!” She smiles. It’s the most familiar thing I’ve seen in years. Her scent takes me back in time. How she still smells and looks the same is beyond me.
It feels like nothing but time has changed between us. After all these years of trying to move on and feeling as though I had … hearing her voice, seeing her smile, and feeling her body touch mine stirs everything back up inside of me that I thought I had buried a long time ago.
“Happy belated birthday!” she says with a playful grin, catching me off guard. My birthday was two days ago, not exactly a major event. Around here, birthdays during our busy season mean Mom makes your favorite dinner, there’s cake, and that’s about it.
I smile. “Thanks. I’m impressed you remembered.”
She shrugs it off casually like it’s nothing, while I scramble to recall hers.
“April …” I hesitate, biting my tongue before fully committing. “Sixteenth?”
Her giggle is instant, and just as contagious as ever. “Yup!”
Before I can say much else, I glance across the room.
Lexie steps back into the sanctuary, her gaze finding mine right away.
I give a little wave over, the nerves that had subsided now returning.
I care about Lexie, I really do, but the fact that I’m feeling this way about Ella again makes me question everything.
Do I care about Lexie enough to push these feelings for Ella aside?
I place my hand on Lexie’s back when the distance between us closes. “This is my girlfriend, Lexie.”
Ella’s face doesn’t falter too much, and she smiles.
For all I know she could be married and have a kid or two.
She always wanted kids. We talked about it back then because that was the plan.
Get married young and have a bunch of kids together.
Funny how life works. Ten years later, none of it has turned out the way we dreamed.
I try to remind myself it’s not really up to me.
God’s got the plans, and I’ll trust Him to work it all out in His time.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Ella.”
“You too. How do you guys know each other?” Lexie looks at me. “Just church?”
“Uh, yeah.” I look back to Ella. “ And school and stuff,” I add, trying not to make the conversation awkward for anyone. I’ll tell Lexie later that we dated, but right now, I can’t risk her reaction. The woman’s a bull in a china shop.
“Yeah, we went to school together,” Ella says.
“Nice. So you live close by?” Lexie’s question comes off harsher than I think she meant, but Ella doesn’t react.
“Well, I just moved back actually,” she says, and her green eyes lock on mine, holding a gaze that’s more than just your casual glance.
Lexie nods. “Where were you before?”
“Texas. I got my nursing degree. Now I’m an ER nurse at the hospital in Minot.”
“Oh wow, that’s intense.”
Ella chuckles. “Very.”
With the desire to keep the conversation between us going, I jump in. “Where are you living then?”
“Minot. Little apartment building. It’s not fancy, but it’s about two minutes from the hospital.” She laughs. “Can’t beat that commute.”
Ella turns back to Lexie. “How about you? Do you live nearby?”
“Yeah, I’m just outside Bellamy. I rent a duplex near—” Lexie starts, but I cut in, knowing Ella will recognize the place if I explain it.
“Henderson’s property, that little farmhouse at the end of the lane?” I finish.
“Oh, yeah! I know exactly where you mean,” Ella exclaims. “That is such a cute little house.”
I chuckle. “It’s definitely little.”
Lexie shoots me a glare, clearly thinking the opposite, and the air between us thickens for a moment. Thankfully, an older couple approaches Ella to chat, and Lexie and I take the opportunity to quickly wave goodbye before slipping away.
On the way back to my parents’, the cab of my truck has this unspoken tension still between us. I’m trying to figure out how to tell Lexie the truth about Ella and me until she beats me to it.
“So you and Barbie doll?” Lexie scoffs, crossing her arms and sitting back in the seat.
“Barbie doll? You mean Ella?”
“Yeah, her.”
I let out a small sigh. “We went together for a little while back in the day.”
“Ha, I knew it.” She shakes her head.
“She’s been gone ten years, Lex, give me a break.”
“How long did you guys date?”
I shrug. “Few years.”
“Was it serious?”
I swallow. “You could say that.”
“So why’d she move then?” she asks. I don’t want to get into it with her so I decide on short answers.
“College.”
“Right.”
The truck falls silent. I wouldn’t be mad if she dropped the entire conversation. I don’t need a fight to arise between us again.
I feel her eyes laser over to me. “So when you saw her, did you have old feelings come back?”
I keep my eyes on the road and hold my breath. “I’m not gonna lie to you, Lex,” I admit. “I felt a little something.”
“So do you wish you were with her rather than me?” Her voice is tight, on the verge of being raised, I can feel it.
“Of course not. I care about you.” I reach over to rest a hand on her thigh. “I love what we have, I enjoy being with you, babe.” I grab her hand. “Really,” I assure. With a brief stare into her dark brown eyes, I wait for her to respond.
“Okay. Thanks for being honest. Sometimes young love is hard to forget,” she says.
I’m relieved. That was not the reaction I was expecting. But why do I feel like I just told the biggest lie of my life?