Chapter 41
“Do you think the Council will approve giving me a raise?” Leandro mutters as I push my chair back.
I snort as I lock my computer then stand. “Maybe when they're done being pissed at you, so…try in a few years. Take a break, go find Roman or something. We're not going to get anywhere anytime soon.”
He makes a non-committal noise and I resist the urge to sigh. “Roman still loves you, even though you're an asshole. Go, play with the dogs in the yard or something. Maybe if people see you out of the office, they'll loosen up.”
He glances over at me, his expression blank, but I can feel the judgment rolling off him.
It was worth a shot. At the end of the day, the Martellis will get used to Leandro and his ways, or his…
peculiarities will always be an issue—I’d rather not have that headache.
But then, I'd rather Leandro didn’t have to pretend forever either.
Something will give eventually. Or he'll kill us all. Whichever comes first.
In the meantime, there's a puppy that needs me, and that is more important than worrying whether anyone likes the psychopathic mimic.
When I get to Lio’s room, I give a courtesy knock, but enter before he can say a word—at least I knock, unlike Tennant.
My Puppy smiles when he sees me, but it's weak. The pain in his eyes says the session he had with his new therapist tore through his emotions already.
“Come here, Cucciolo.”
Sitting on the bed, I open my arms and accept a lapful of cuddly Puppy.
“I'm sorry, Sir,” he whispers against my chest. “I hope I didn't take you away from anything important.”
Tightening my arms around him, I press a kiss to the top of his head. “Nothing is more important than you, Cucciolo. It doesn't matter where I am, what I'm doing, or even who I'm with. If you need me, I'm there. I wouldn't be a very good Owner otherwise.”
He hugs me as tight as possible. “You're the best Owner.”
That earns him another kiss. We sit in silence for a while, soaking up the feel of each other. It's…nice. Something we never got the chance to do before. Though, our relationship didn't start because we saw something in the other.
Unlike Benjamin and Tennant, Lio and I started because he had a need I could fulfill. Sex, kink, calming his chaotic and worried mind, that's all it was supposed to be. I never thought I'd claim the boy, but…I wouldn't go back and change it either.
Emilio is mine. Nothing will ever make me give him up. He carved a place in me, same as all my other loves.
It doesn't matter that he has a Daddy. Tennant is a part of me, and therefore, whatever is his is mine. Speaking of which, there's the matter of a certain psychiatrist I need to deal with. Especially after what Jude told me last night. So many things to do, so little time.
As for Lio having a Master… I'm not as homicidal as I once was. Am I still uncomfortable with Sandro? Yes, but part of that is due to my own experience with rape—that’s probably one of the things my new therapist will want to talk about…
I hope they're as good as Javi and Doc claim, and they understand why I'm not jumping for joy at the prospect.
So far, Sandro has stayed true to his word. He helped steady Emilio, and got him to let out the emotions he kept bottled up, but I am in no way disillusioned to believe it “fixed” him. A stop-gap is all it was, but it was desperately needed by our Puppy.
Rubbing my hand up and down Lio’s back, I press my lips to his hair, keeping them there as I take in his scent. I realize that while I may not always be comfortable with Sandro, I no longer want to outright kill him, so at least there's that. Baby steps.
“I won't ask unless you want me to, Baby. What happens in your sessions is your private business. But if you want to discuss anything, you can.”
Javi's views on privacy is something I strongly agree with him on.
Even if the man is determined to drive us all up the wall, he does seem to know his stuff.
Case in point, I might not agree with the meds I'm on, and still hate the side effects, but things are…
better. Not great, not perfect, but better.
I understand it's not a magic fix, but he wasn't wrong for getting me to accept them and the changes he made.
Still not looking forward to having to talk to someone about the shit from my past. Making myself vulnerable to someone not under my control? No, thanks. But for the Boy in my arms, and the other three lives who rely on what they see as my steady strength, I'll do it.
Lio pulls back enough to look up at me with his gorgeous moss green eyes. “It was just an introduction, but…it was still hard. He asked me about my friends, and I told him about you, Daddy, Master, and Roman. I…it hurt, Sir. Having to talk about and remember what I did to Benjamin…”
I look at him in confusion. “What did you do to him? Or think you did to him?”
He bites his lip and wiggles a little on my lap. His eyes are wide and pleading.
“He fell in love with Tennant and I… I was a dick about it. How could he know it was love when he had just broken up with Ignacio, but then, I…” His eyes fill with tears.
“I did the same thing! After Allesandro…
When we broke off from the old Bosses, I didn't give a second thought to falling right into Tennant’s arms. I'm such a fucking selfish hypocrite.”
“Off.” I push at him.
Lio goes easily, sliding off my lap and standing in front of me. He waits patiently for his next instruction, even as his tear-filled eyes stare back at me.
“On the floor, Pup.”
Dropping to his knees, I can almost hear the relief pouring off him as he’s directed to familiar territory.
“Such a good, Cucciolo. Now, look at me.” Reaching out, I grip his chin hard enough to bruise. “I want you to listen to me very carefully, Emilio. Do you remember what I told you, about what you deserve, the first day I got to see you?”
“You get to decide what I do and don’t deserve. You’re the only one who can because you’re my Owner.”
“That’s right. I’m your Owner, and I am the one who decides what I want you to have.
The same goes for all my lovers. If I didn’t want Tennant to have you or Benjamin, then neither of you would.
Neither one of you are in charge here, despite what Benjamin might think.
” I’ve given him far too many liberties, and it’s time to remind him who gave him such privileges. And maybe take some away.
“What you and your Daddy did, how your relationship began, is not the same as Benjamin and Tennant. You and Allesandro were broken up, you had no ties to him, you owed him nothing. Unlike Benjamin, who had a fiancé, but conveniently forgot that until he had to face the consequences of his actions.
“If falling in love is selfish, then I suppose I’m the most selfish of us all with the way I hoard my lovers. After all, I should have been satisfied with just Tennant, right? I never should have allowed Roman in, or Jude, or you.”
“T—that’s different,” he protests. “You’re with us all, and well, Jude and I aren’t even really friends, but I have you, Daddy, and Roman, so it counts.”
I stare at him, watching as he squirms under both my touch and gaze.
“Do I believe you and your friend hurt each other? Yes, but that is something you two can fix. Friends fight, they hurt each other’s feelings, and then they come together and make up—truly make up, because they’re sorry and know they were in the wrong.
You and the Topolino will get past this—if you both want to. ”
I leave him to think on it, watching as he licks his lips. He takes his time before answering, which eases a little of my worry. “I do. I really do want to fix things, I just don’t know how. He…was my first friend. I don’t know how to do this, how to make up and get our friendship back on track.”
“You might want to talk to Roman about the actual making up part, he’s good at that kind of stuff, even though, before you, he only had Leandro as a friend.
What I can tell you is that you and your Daddy are perfect together.
You bring out a side of Ten that…I didn’t know anyone could pull out.
And that, Baby, is what makes relationships so great; different people can bring out different things in each other.
It doesn’t mean one relationship is better than the other, only that what you need to get out of the relationship is.
” Releasing his chin, I wipe some tears from his cheeks before smoothing back his hair.
“I don’t subscribe to the idea that polyamorous people need different things from different relationships or people, but I do believe that every relationship is different.
You only have to look at all of us, and see how we are all vastly unique.
It doesn’t make any one relationship better than the other. ”
“But…that still doesn’t make it right. I hurt the one person I wasn’t ever supposed to. I know he struggles with jealousy, but I made him accept my relationship with Tennant anyway.”
“Let me ask you this then: Do you think he would have gotten over the jealousy had you not been in the picture?”
He hesitates, but I can see the answer clearly on his face, so I press my fingers to his lips to prevent him from speaking.
“No, he wouldn’t have, because Benjamin’s jealousy is something he has to deal with himself.
You’re not responsible for other people’s emotions, Emilio.
If Benjamin wants to stay with Tennant,”—wants to stay alive—“then he’s going to have to get used to the fact that Ten will never be what he wants.
That’s something he is going to have to work out in therapy. ”
“But I didn’t have to make it harder…”
“Enough,” I say in a firm voice. “You are not responsible for Benjamin or his feelings. You’re not to take on a single fucking ounce of guilt for loving your Daddy. Unless you regret being with him?”
He immediately shakes his head. “No! Of course not, but maybe…”