11. Lee
Lee
I wake up full of him.
Julian’s cock is still buried deep inside me, thick and heavy, the way it’s been since the last time he came with a low groan against my neck and decided we weren’t done yet.
He didn’t pull out then either. He stayed inside of me until he got hard again in the middle of the night while I drifted in and out of sleep.
I think I caved too easily. But he was sad, and I’m a sucker for the way he looks at me like I’m the only thing that can make his world better.
Now he’s moving. Slow, lazy rolls of his hips that drag him in and out just enough to wake every nerve ending I thought was dead asleep.
My thighs are already slick from us earlier. He’s come in me twice or maybe three times, warm and deep, and the thought makes me clench around him without meaning to.
Oh god. I’m a cum slut. I’m not sure when this happened. I mean I’ve always liked it, but right now, just the thought of watching his dick pulse inside me is making me close to coming.
“Morning, babydoll,” he rasps, voice wrecked from all the sweet filthy things he whispered last night. “You’re keeping me warm and hard inside you. I needed it so bad, baby. I can’t bear the thought of not being inside you.”
“I can’t go without your cum,” I whisper in mock horror. “We are perfect for each other."
He smiles against my ear and kisses the side of my neck.
“You are perfect. Since the first time you pressed a gun to my head, I knew you owned my soul.”
I can’t help but smile at that.
He slides in and out of me, and I close my eyes. It’s slow, but my body gets close fast. When he nips at my ear, I fall apart with a soft cry. Heat rolls through my core while my body stills around him.
When he finally empties inside me, he collapses half on top of me, heavy and sated. His arm drapes across my back, pulling me close.
“Ettie,” he whispers, voice soft and full of love. “God, I missed you so much, baby.”
Julian kisses the top of my head, then my temple, then the corner of my eye.
“Was I too rough last, Ettie? Tell me the truth.”
“I like you rough,” I breathe.
He smiles against my skin.
We lay in silence and my fingers run along his muscular chest. He hums happily under my touch, one hand stroking up and down my spine.
I slip out from under him carefully once he falls asleep. He doesn’t stir. My bare feet find the cold wood floor and I pad to the bathroom without turning on the light.
My body aches from his hands. I’m covered in sweat and cum.
The logical part of my brain says to run far away from Julian. It would be better for everyone. But my chest clutches at the thought. I fucking love Julian Jameson.
I know it will be my downfall. But fuck all if I care anymore. I’ve always been his.
I step into the shower and let the hot water run over me. I smile like an idiot because I know when I get back in bed he’ll pull me right back against his chest, kiss my wet hair, and make me filthy again.
I jump when the shower door opens and he steps in.
He has the cutest boyish smile. So opposite from the handsome, professional doctor he is to everyone else.
Julian takes over washing me. His soapy hands pay extra attention to my breasts and my ass.
When I’m done, we switch and I wash him. Soap bubbles up under my hands as I glide them over every inch of his tall, lean body, tracing the firm lines of his chest and abs.
His dark hair is slicked back from the water, droplets catching in the short dark beard that frames his strong jaw. Blue eyes stay on me the entire time, full of heat and so much love it’s palpable. He lets out a quiet moan when I follow the dark trail under his belly button with my fingers.
He’s hard again, thick and flushed for me, but I give him space under the spray so he can rinse every last bubble off his skin while I watch hungry.
I drop to my knees and lick him from his balls to his tip. Then I do it again to make sure I lick every inch.
His head tilts back. I have no idea how he’s even hard again. But I like that I’m the one making him that way.
I suck him deep and wrap my hand around him at the base. It hurts. Julian’s cock is fucking thick. But I give it my all because I’m not a quitter.
“Open up for me, Ettie. I shouldn’t waste even a drop on your throat, but I can never say no to you,” he says, eyes on mine. “I’ll fill you again later and give you so much more. I need your belly swollen. I’m serious, Ettie.”
I stare at him, water cascading over us. Sure, he talked dirty about him breeding me… but Julian has the most determined look I’ve ever seen on his face. It’s alarming how hot it is.
I have to find my pills.
He taps the side of my cheek with his fingers. I guess he’s done talking. I open wider.
The lust and love in his eyes make me relax my throat completely. I let him use my mouth. I’m nothing more than a warm hole for him now, and I love it. Julian takes over my body, and all I have to do is feel.
After a few more pumps that make me gag, he pushes to the back of my throat.
“Swallow.”
I do as he says because he’s my daddy, after all.
He explodes with a choked groan. The warm salty taste fills my mouth. One hand cradles my head in place, the other bracing him up on the tile wall.
When he’s done, I pop my lips off and swipe my tongue to lick up every drop of his cum.
He yanks me up and kisses me hard enough to make my knees tremble.
“Good morning,” I say when we break apart. My voice is deliciously thick with how much I want him.
“The best morning, babydoll,” he whispers, pressing one more soft kiss to my forehead.
After I switch off the shower, Julian wraps me in a big fluffy towel and watches me in the mirror while I brush out my hair. I don’t say anything and neither does he.
I walk to the closet and pull on a bra and underwear then grab one of his hoodies from the shelf. It still smells like him. I tug it over my head and find a pair of sleep shorts before going to the kitchen.
He follows a minute later wearing only a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips. The sight of him like this, relaxed and half-dressed in the morning light, makes my stomach flip.
Julian moves to the coffee maker without a word. He measures the grounds, starts the machine, and pulls down two mugs like this is any other morning. Like we didn’t spend the last six months bleeding for each other. He pours my coffee black with two sugars and hands it over.
Our fingers brush, and he smiles.
“I need to tell you everything. And eventually, I’ll need you to forgive me for keeping it from you,” I say.
He looks up, his brows scrunch, but he nods. His blue eyes fix on mine.
“Okay.” He lowers the mug carefully. “Tell me. I’m not going to run, Ettie. No matter what.”
I just start before I lose my nerve.
“I’ve been running my own operation for the past two years. I use the underworld to fix anything the FBI can’t or won’t act on. I trade information, expose corrupt officials, track anyone who might lead me closer to the truth.”
My fingers curl around the edge of the table.
“I can break into almost any system and find every dirty secret someone tried to bury. I’m really fucking good at it too. I can find anyone’s secrets. Except the ones surrounding Emily and her…”
I exhale.
“It is really expensive to run operations against the FBI. Which is why I started working with Calum and his brothers in the first place. Back then, they carried out hired hits. I found the contacts, and they had no moral objection to the kind of work I needed done. If it makes it any better, I only took jobs for people who were evil.” I wave my hands.
Nothing will make it better, so I keep going.
“Since Georgie, things have changed for them, but they still help when I call.”
“You know,” he says, with a grin. “Working with them is what led me to you. Same with the Vegas. Something good has already come from it.”
I give him a half smile. I wring out my hands and take a seat on the barstool.
I hate telling this story, and I haven’t said it many times. Still, it comes out like acid on my tongue.
“Emily was nineteen when she died. After we lost our dad, things got really bad. She was grieving at the same time I knew she was trying to find herself. She was a freshman in college, supersmart. But also, naive. Too innocent for her own good.”
Julian doesn’t interrupt, which is good, because I know despite what he said, he's going to hate me at the end of this. And why wouldn’t he? Julian saves people. I stopped caring whether the people in my way deserved saving a long time ago.
He’s kind and wants to save lives. I’m… not that. I don’t mind when the lines blur between good and bad. I actually prefer there not to be any line at all.
“There was a program operating on her campus. Project Vine. On paper, it looked like a bureau operation tracking a new designer drug before it reached the streets.”
Julian’s expression tightens.
“Vinculum. Latin for bond or obligation. Emily died with it in her system before there was any public record the drug even existed. It creates dependency fast, but with fewer obvious side effects than fentanyl. Easier to use on someone without everyone around her realizing what was happening.”
Julian’s hand wraps around the mug in front of him, knuckles whitening, but he still doesn’t speak.
“The medical examiner ruled it an overdose. He told me that college kids party, bad drugs happen, and there was nothing more to investigate.” My nails bite into my palm. “And I believed him. Why would anyone lie about my dead sister when I’m a federal agent, right?”
A fake laugh huffs out of me.
“I didn’t go in her room for almost seven months.
When I finally went to clean it out, I found a lockbox.
She had a false back on her closet shelf.
It had details. Inside was a fake ID, cash, a small bag of Vinculum, and a journal filled with names, dates, meeting places, and notes about what they were doing to students on her campus.
I’ve been trying to piece it together ever since. ”