Epilogue
Hope
May, again
I’m in the greenhouse, taking advantage of the fact that Finn fell asleep nursing outside. He’s in a bassinet next to the stove, and I’m clipping flowers with Bellamy for some much-needed girl time together, when I hear Zane calling for me.
Bellamy races for the door, pulling it open with a big smile on her face.
“We’re in here,” she says, ushering him inside.
Much-needed girl time is only trumped by mid-day family time.
She grabs Zane’s hand with both of hers and tugs, wanting him to swing her into the air.
“Hang on, Bellaboo,” he says, laughing. “I’ve got something important for your mama to read on her phone.”
Frowning, I pat the back pocket of my jean shorts—but sure enough, I don’t have my phone on me. It’s in Zane’s hand, and he crosses to me, kissing me on the mouth before handing it over.
His dark eyes hold my gaze with a curiously proud warmth as he finally swings Bellamy into the air, flying her up up up before she clings to him, settling on his shoulders.
I look at the screen. There’s a pop-up notification, an email.
From the Mount Royal University Admissions office.
Congratulations! We are pleased…
Fingers shaking, I click on it and my email inbox opens. There’s a white screen for a minute as it loads, then the words appear in all their surreal glory.
We are pleased to offer you mature student admission to the Midwifery programme for the Fall Semester. You can create a student account via this unique link. If you accept this offer of admission, the first instalment of your tuition is due by…
I jerk my head up and stare at Zane.
He grins back at me. “You did it.”
“They said yes.”
“You got in.”
“I’m going to university.” I’m gobsmacked.
He’s still grinning.
“I didn’t think they would admit me?” My application wasn’t impressive. I only had my high school marks, which were very good before I got pregnant, but my last term was a challenge.
And then I didn’t have any related experience. I’m sure other people are more qualified than me, but Zane encouraged me to write a personal essay that wove my two birth stories in and around the trauma of the last four years.
It was fucking hard to put all of that down on paper. I sobbed as I thought about how important my midwife in BC had been to me in a challenging time in my life.
But he was right to push me.
And now…
“Holy crap,” I whisper.
He tugs me in close and kisses the top of my head as I cry into his neck.
And then my tears shift to laughter.
“That’s my girl,” he murmurs. “You’re happy, yes?”
“So happy.” I lift my face and he kisses me around Bellamy’s wriggling leg. “She’s getting too big for your shoulders.”
“Nonsense.” He kisses me again. “So proud of you.”
“It’s going to be a lot of work.”
“Work is good for the soul.” He rubs my back.
I look up at Bellamy. “Mommy’s starting school with you in September. We’ll have to go backpack shopping together.”
She laughs, like that’s the silliest thing she’s ever heard.
But I can’t wait. Five years ago, I thought my hopes and dreams for school were dashed forever. Now I know that they were only put on hold, because to get there, I needed to find my babies and my cowboy and this perfect ranch in the foothills of the Rockies.
I had to grow up, and learn how to be brave enough to accept goodness in all its unexpected forms.
I step back from Zane, so I can see all of him. His proud smile, not a mystery now. My daughter on his shoulders. Our son sleeping behind him in a bassinet.
I laugh and pick up a bunch of flowers. Breathe them in and laugh again, twirling around as I catch his gaze.
He drags his eyes down to the cowboy boots he bought me for the Raspberry Jamboree last year. Now my favourite accessory.
“You know what this means,” I say as I twirl closer again, waving my flowers at him. Filled with joy.
“I have to wait four years to give you another baby?”
“You read my mind.”
He grins. “It’s for the best. Kincaid boys are a handful. We need to pace ourselves.”
“Daddy, put me down!” Bellamy pats his head, having learned not to pull her horsey’s hair.
Both of us jerk our attention up to her. She hasn’t called him that before, but we’ve been using it when talking to Finn and about Finn, and I guess it’s rubbed off.
Then I let my eyes focus on his face as he beams up at her, so much love in his expression. “Sorry,” he murmurs as he swings her down and kisses the tip of her nose. “I was distracted by your pretty mama.”
“You don’t mind waiting a few years, Daddy?” I whisper as I throw my arms around his neck.
“Mind? I’ve got my arms gloriously full, woman. Gloriously. Full. You can put that fact in your backpack and trundle off to school, don’t you worry.”
THE END