Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
ASHLYN
When Fyn’s hand slid to my waist, I could barely breathe.
I melted with his touch, even when I tried to force distance between us.
But still I couldn’t stop from noticing the way Soren slowly paced near the edge of the dance floor as if he was watching and waiting for the dance to end.
This was my life. I would only have one chance to claim what I wanted. The opportunities before me would never be granted again.
Neither path would grant me everything I dreamed of. Only one allowed me to be true to myself. “He’s watching us.”
“He’s watching you,” Fyn said, twirling me again.
I wanted Fyn to look at me the way he did last night—to keep his hand on my waist—to keep dancing.
It was dangerous how much I craved it. I needed to know how deeply he craved it too. He would have told me if I hadn’t stopped him.
I thought I could spare myself from hearing his words, but now I knew I could never live a life without hearing them. “Meet me later.”
“Your Highness.” Fyn led us the wrong direction again. I wasn’t sure if it was intentional.
“Don’t leave me waiting for you,” I warned.
He nodded once, but it was worth more than anything Soren had said to me since I arrived.
When the music stopped, he bowed before me.
Soren’s clenched jaw seemed even more prominent in the glow of the candlelight. His hand clamped uncomfortably around my wrist. “That was painful to watch.”
I tugged free of his grasp. “I hope it was the entertainment you were looking for.” My words came out with a bite that even I didn’t expect.
“The two of you gave the most surprising show.” Soren looked to Fyn, his brows knitting as he glanced him over.
“Glad to be of service,” Fyn said.
“I hear you have quite a taste for our wine. Perhaps if you had less of it you’d not be tripping over such a beautiful woman.” Soren leaned in closer to Fyn, but he didn’t lower his voice.
“I dance that poorly with or without the wine.” Fyn rolled his sleeves back.
“By all means, have more then.” Soren wrapped his hand around my arm tugging me away from Fyn, guiding me out of the ballroom and out beneath the stars.
When Fyn stepped forward, I shook my head at him.
He couldn’t follow. Not now.
“You are incredibly distracted.” He glanced back at the ballroom before he looked at me again. “Captivated by something, or someone, that doesn’t appear to be me.”
It wasn’t him. It would never be him. “I’m uncertain of what to say to you.” It was the only safe truth I could utter.
“You have no problem speaking freely with the Lord Chancellor.” His glare focused on Fyn.
“I have known him longer than I’ve known you. He is a good friend of my sister’s.”
“Yes, I hear he is most important to the crown, but that doesn’t explain your familiarity with him. One that is making me quite uncomfortable.” He hadn’t released his grip on me, but this time I didn’t pull free.
Nothing would stop me from the conversation Fyn and I needed to have. If I had to fake my way through the evening, I would.
His relentless pressure made me uneasy.
“This isn’t a love match, Ashlyn.” Human royals could make sense of that easily. Soren seemed to.
“I’m well aware of it.” No one would mistake the way he looked at me, or spoke to me, for love. A dull ache clung to me. I tried to claw myself free from it.
“I will need your decision by the morning,” Soren said.
“You will have it.” It wouldn’t be what any of them wished.
A chill rushed through me.
It wasn’t the starlight. I knew what my future was.
I wouldn’t wait to claim it.
I ripped the laces free from the gown as soon as I was back in my chambers. Eva hadn’t returned for me.
Time was running out. I needed to get to Fyn.
The sun would rise again too soon.
The stiff neckline of my riding tunic caught on my hair, tugging some of my waves free. I fumbled the laces.
Fyn would be there, waiting. I couldn’t chance him leaving before I arrived.
When I pulled back the gilded door, the guards were deep in conversation. It was my chance to disappear down the corridor.
Soren was the last person anyone saw me with. I snuck back to my chambers alone after our conversation ended.
Maybe they’d think I was with him still.
It would buy me mere moments, but it was all I needed.
The cadence of my heart raced far past my footsteps as I took the corner just past my chambers. I retraced my steps back to the alcove.
Fyn glanced quickly behind him. "Going somewhere?”
He looked at me like he saw through everything I tried to hide behind.
"I need you to take me back to Nythrel.” I scanned the corridor again before I looked back at him.
The light in his eyes gleamed brighter, but he only stroked the stubble along his jaw. “You hated being in Nythrel. Why would you want me to take you back?”
“Because if I stay…” I fought every urge not to speak my truth. “I can’t marry Soren.” My eyes burned fiercely. “My heart won’t let me.”
A curtain of blue hair fell over my eyes. Fyn tucked it back behind my ear. “Why won’t it let you?”
“Because he’s not you.” I reached for his tunic, my hand trailing the embroidery that created even lines down his chest. “I need you.”
I could feel his heart race as he threaded his fingers through my hair. His lips crashed into mine.
“For months, it’s taken everything to stop me from kissing you.”
“We have a lot of time we need to make up for.” My back hit against the wall as I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him closer. “Don’t stop kissing me.”
He glanced around the still empty hall before he claimed me with another kiss.
When he pulled back from me, I looked into his eyes. “Steal me, Fyn.”
His hands trailed to my waist as his lips found mine again. “The things you do to me, Ashlyn.”
“Tell me what I do to you,” I whispered.
“When we are free of this place,” he said. “When you are mine—”
“Steal. Me.” I wouldn’t wait a moment longer.
His forehead met mine before he drew back.
“You don’t want to?” It had taken me far too long to admit he was everything I ever needed.
“I will steal you. Take you far away from here…” Fyn said. “But if I take you in the middle of the night—they will come for you.”
They couldn’t do that. “I haven’t agreed to the pact.”
“You can make your choice tomorrow with every bit of certainty.” His words frayed at the edges.
Nothing would change my mind. “Do you need to think it over?” My nerves wouldn’t let me stop rambling. “Will you change your mind in the morning?”
“It’s far too late for that.” His jade eyes glowed brighter. “My soul burns because yours does.”
A heat that rivaled the starlight spread through me.
The way he spoke—the look in his eyes—it was everything I wanted from him.
“I can’t take you looking at me like that much longer,” he said.
“You will have to deal with it again after the sun rises then.” I peered back at him one last time before I left him.