Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
ASHLYN
Rage hit before the calm I couldn’t control.
It overwhelmed me until every word I uttered seemed too difficult, or my magic resisted it.
Fyn stayed.
He followed me everywhere until night came, and then he made sure I was safely back inside my chambers. I had never seen him so broken before. He didn’t know how much I matched him on the inside.
When I awoke the next morning, the feeling had lifted. My mind and words flowed freely as they had the day before.
The same pastry lay on the table in my room. It was the only different thing I had eaten. If Fyn was right—if it controlled me, then someone tried to subdue me.
I didn’t have to venture a guess as to who it might be.
Soren wasn’t concerned when I faltered. Only frustrated. He wasn’t scared at how it altered me the way Fyn had been.
“I wish for something else,” I said to Eva as she set a pale pink napkin beside it on the table.
“The kitchen is not prepared to make you something else.” Her lie struck me. “You must eat your breakfast.”
“Did the prince pick it out for me?” I asked.
“He is far too busy for that.” Another lie. “Our kitchen staff will always cater to your tastes.”
“Why the pink pastry?” If I was going to be cursed with whatever the starlight made me carry, then I could at least use it to my advantage.
“The frosting is Novena’s favorite. It was thought you might enjoy it too.” She poured water in the glass that lay beside the plate, slowing her pour only when she looked back to assess me.
“Nothing more?” It was a bold question to ask, but I wasn’t above it.
“It is only a pastry.” She did little to hide her annoyance.
I stilled my face so I wouldn’t flinch again. Her lie burned even deeper this time. I knew she cared little for me, but she didn’t seem to think twice about lying to me.
“I don’t care for them. You can tell whoever selected it for me that I won’t be eating it again.” I pointed to a lavender gown in the corner of my wardrobe when she unlaced another white gown. “I will wear that one today.”
“The tradition must hold now that the pact has been announced.”
“It is not my tradition.”I had been pushed enough. I would not be pushed again.
“Your Highness, your transition to your role will be far more seamless if you stop challenging everything.”
“You haven’t seen me fight anything yet.” It was a threat I shouldn’t have given, but my mouth ran far ahead of my thoughts. “Unlace the lavender gown, or I shall do it myself.”
Eva slowly moved to the wardrobe, pulling the gown off the hanger.
“Surely this shade is light enough that we can agree it is nearly colorless.” I didn’t know what benefit they thought subduing me would give them, but I knew my rage—and it wouldn’t wait to be tested again.
If Soren was responsible for whatever happened to me yesterday, then he would find his bride would oblige to nothing.
Maybe that was too dangerous, but I knew I couldn’t survive his world on naivety.
She aided me into the gown while she withheld every thought.
“I reacted poorly to the pastry. Whoever made my food should know it so it doesn’t happen again.”
She glared at me before she could relax her stare. “That must have been most unsettling. I will be sure the prince is made aware as well.”
I didn’t care if she told him. “I’m sure he would be most alarmed to hear it.” Alarmed that I knew what had happened to me.
“You said Novena likes these.” I traced the pink icing over the pastry.
“She eats one nearly every morning,” Eva said.
My stomach clenched tighter. Her unnatural calm—her gaze that seemed to fixate for an extended period of time.
Novena was missing from the ball—from the pact announcement. Kilan said she was resting, but who knew if there was any actuality in what he uttered.
One dose left me beside myself—numb in a way I had never felt before. There was no knowing how many pastries she had consumed.
Whether this life had driven her to it, or they had chosen it for her, as Soren had chosen it for me.
One day was enough to be lost to that feeling. I let my eyes slip closed, feeling an ache for her.
“The prince was hoping to meet with you after breakfast,” Eva said.
“I assume that is not a request.”
“It is not.” She stared down at the pastry before she glanced back at me.
“Tell him I’m ready then.” I sipped the water as my stomach roared with hunger. I wouldn’t be able to tame it.
“I will send word for him and take your concern to the kitchen.”
“Wonderful.” I eyed my satchel in the corner of the room, turning away from it until she left.
When she was gone, I ran my fingers over the leather flap that wasn’t tied shut. I had closed it properly the last time I looked inside.
I counted every vial.
One was gone.