Chapter 6
Six
Bryson Tiller’s Teach Me a Lesson flowed through the car while Noble drove on the interstate.
Rarely did he enjoy R her presence left a void that could’ve been felt on the other side of the world.
Thoughts of her played like a movie inside his head.
Noble had never been so lovesick in his life.
Not even Daysha had the ability to pull such emotions from him.
Noble replayed his argument with Irish and wished he could go back and edit some things he’d said.
He was harsh only because she had hurt his feelings.
Irish hyped him up to believe they would finally give their relationship a go.
She made it seem like Jovanis wasn’t a factor anymore, only to pull the rug from his feet.
He’d virtually fallen backwards, his back hitting the floor as she stood over him with his heart in her hands.
Noble couldn’t keep holding on. He had never given her an ultimatum but after their revelation of love, he figured the inevitable would’ve happened.
They were supposed to be submerged in bliss right now. Irish should’ve been in his arms while he showered her with love that was reserved for only her. Instead, Noble journeyed to a comfort zone that he wished didn’t exist.
Pulling into a subdivision, he parked and got out the car. Walking up the stairs, he noticed her standing in the doorway. A subtle smirk rested on her glossy lips as he approached her.
“What did you do?”
He smirked at her sassy tone. “Why you think that?”
“Because I know your ass. What did you do or who hurt you?”
“Let me in and I’ll tell you.”
With pursed lips, Danira stepped to the side and allowed him access inside the home.
His nose was hit with the scent of peaches as tunes of Mary J.
Blige softly filled the room. Noble took a seat on the couch as Danira sauntered inside, wearing a silk robe with her natural hair pinned up.
The history between them spanned over fifteen years.
She had been the first girl he gave his heart to.
Back then, she was his safe place. A person he could confide in when the pressure of his life had become too much.
“So, are you going to fill me in?” she asked, lighting a joint and sitting on the chaise across from him.
“Why I need a reason to see an old friend?” He grinned, toying with her.
A knowing look covered her face as smoke lingered from her nostrils.
She was still as beautiful as the first day, he’d laid eyes on her.
It was ninth grade in social studies class when he first noticed her.
She was a petite, chocolate tone woman with big fluffy hair and a smile that brought the strongest man to his knees.
Back then, Danira was the most beautiful girl in his world until life happened.
“You know we don't do these social calls without a purpose. One of us is either in distress or in pain when we come see each other. So, tell me what’s up, Noble?”
He sighed, ready to unleash his problems. “I fell in love with somebody.”
Danira grinned and clapped her hands. “Congratulations.”
“But I had to let her go.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s married to her best friend that’s… he got some shit to him.” Despite his disdain for Jovanis, he still couldn’t out him. To Noble, that was some hoe shit to do.
“So, it’s a marriage of convenience?”
He nodded.
“And she wouldn’t choose you?”
That question hurt but he would never showcase it.
“I don't know. I’m not a man that likes to wait in the shadows. I was already compromising my integrity by being with her, but I can’t allow her to keep toying with me. So, I let her go.”
“And it hurts you, which is why you came to me, so I can soothe your broken heart.” She poked her bottom lip out, making him chuckle.
“I think you giving yourself too much credit, Danira.”
“Maybe I am.” She reached over and put her joint out in the ashtray. “Tell me something, how the hell did you get wrapped up with a married woman?”
He shrugged, thinking back to the first conversation he and Irish had. He wished he could go back and savor their moments.
“I don't know. All I can say is that I wanted her.”
She smirked. “And you fell in love.”
He bobbed his head.
“Do you love her more than you did Daysha?”
“For sure.”
“What about me? Do you love her more than you loved me?”
Danira always liked setting herself up for some reason. She was crowned Noble’s first love and wore that title with such pride. She never missed an opportunity to measure herself up with the women in his life.
“Let’s just say, I loved her enough to compromise my character. That’s a big fucking deal to me.”
“You didn’t answer my question, though.”
“And I won’t.”
Playfully, she rolled her eyes. “Typical Noble. You play your feelings close to your chest until your back is against the wall. Then when all the mess is created, you want to reveal how you truly feel.
“Take your therapist hat off, Nira.”
“But I can’t. It’s what I do. Analyze complex people and give my observation. Did you know you were my first patient?”
“Yeah, I’m aware,” he answered, looking at the painting above her mantle.
“You wanna know what’s crazy?”
Before he answered, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and instantly kissed his teeth.
Daysha: Why won’t you answer my calls? How long have you been fucking Irish’s married ass? Does her husband know?
“Who is that?”
“My entitled-ass ex-wife. And no, I’m not about to talk about her ass.”
“Good ‘cause I didn’t want to. I wanted to give you my analysis of you.”
Noble was humored so he said, “Go ‘head.”
“You're a hard book to read, Noble. You rarely allow people to get close to you. You're actually the perfect person for the position you play. You compartmentalize your life in such a way that they rarely overlap. Noble the good dad, Noble the disgruntled son, and Noble the boss who takes care of business without thinking twice. Now, the most complicated part of your life is Noble the lover boy. So, I’m a little stumped on how you managed to ignore your own rules for this married woman.”
People on the outside wouldn’t be able to fathom how he’d fallen in love with Irish.
It was easy on his part. Being loyal and down to earth, she listened and didn’t hold back her real feelings.
Irish was made up of all the things that made women magical.
She was kindhearted but wounded. Yet that didn’t taint her or make her feel bitter.
“If you knew her like I do, you would know that it was easy.”
“So, could you see yourself marrying her?”
He bobbed his head. “I can see a lot of shit with her but it’s dead now.”
Danira got up and walked over to the couch he was on. She sat next to him sideways, while resting her chin on her closed fist.
“So, what now?”
“Shit.” He shrugged “Move on.”
Danira’s gaze descended to the dazzling diamond chain on his chest. She adjusted it before looking at him.
“Do you ever think about us?”
He looked her square in the eye. “Not no more.”
“Ouch.” She chuckled.
“What you mean ‘ouch’? You know how long ago that was? Why would I think about something that you ended?”
She sighed deeply. “How long are you going to hold that against me?”
“I’m not holding shit against you. I’m reminding you that you chose yourself over your life with me.”
“But it wasn’t easy,” she whispered before looking into his eyes.
“Noble, I wanted you. I swear I did but I didn’t think you would change your ways.
You and Tuck used to be in the streets heavy.
I didn’t want to be that girlfriend who waited for that call that you were either locked up or in jail.
I had big dreams and I knew you would hold me back. ”
“Was it worth it?” he asked her, honestly.
She seesawed her head. “Yeah, in a way. I accomplished a lot. Got my master’s in social work. Opened my own practice and was featured in St. Parklynn’s Medical Magazine. I did what I said I would do.”
Noble respected Danira so much. Instead of her being his woman, she broke things off and pursued her own life. At the time, he was hurt but he understood her stance. His lifestyle was dangerous and would’ve hindered Danira if she stayed with him. Above the pain he felt, he was vastly proud of her.
“Then that’s all that matters. You being happy with the decision you made. Plus, if our breakup didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have my son. So, it’s a win on both parts.”
Danira licked her lips as her chest heaved then fell.
“I want you to know I never stop loving you, Noble. You’ll always have a special place in my life because I experienced a lot of firsts with you.
You were my person, one point in time, and there are moments I think about the what-ifs.
Like what if I gave up too soon or what if I didn’t choose myself? ”
“You did the right thing,” he assured her.
“Sometimes, I don't feel that way. I remembered feeling like shit when I found out you had gotten married. I think a part of me thought we would always find our way back together. How foolish of me to think that?”
“We all think foolish shit,” he noted, retreating back to his thoughts.
He assumed he and Irish could’ve been something special.
He too unwisely thought this was the woman, who he would settle down with for good.
Deep down under his stubborn nature, Noble pondered maybe this was just a break.
That they would find their way back to each other the same way Danira thought she would to him.
“So, that’s it?”
“What you mean?” he quizzed.
“As far as you and this girl. Are you gonna fight for her or what?”
Noble was thankful Danira had changed the subject from their past relationship. He didn’t feel like opening up feelings that he no longer possessed for her.