Chapter Eight
Eight
Irish peeped out of her bedroom and spotted her mother sitting at the table. Seeing that she was alone, she decided to go and talk to her without Emanuel around.
“Mama,” she softly said. “Can I talk to you?”
“What is it?” she asked, peeling some russet potatoes.
“Uh…” she stalled. “I um, Emanuel took me to this place. And it was smoky. There were a lot of grown people there—well, there were grown men there looking at me. It made me feel creepy. Emanuel even touched me and I didn’t like it.”
Daisy angled her head, sitting the potato on the table. “Touched you where?”
“Where’s the EBT card?” Emanuel asked, startling Irish.
Irish hadn’t heard him come in and prayed that her mother wouldn’t give a sign that they were discussing him.
Ever since that night at the underground casino, Irish had been avoiding him.
She stayed out the house for most of the day, hanging with Jovanis and his uncles.
When it was time to come inside, Irish ran to her room and placed a chair under the knob.
“Irish just told me that you took her to some place where there were grown men. She also said you touched her.”
Emanuel glanced at Irish then back at Daisy. “You remember I said I stopped at the casino before we went out to eat?”
She knew?
“Oh, that’s what she’s referring to,” Daisy replied with the casualness of someone who hadn’t been informed that their daughter felt uncomfortable around her stepfather.
“What’s the problem, Irish?” he asked, grinning. “Why you making it a big deal about going to the casino with me?”
She wished she could’ve cowered in the corner and disappeared. This was all too much for her fourteen-year-old mind. They both looked at her, hoping she elaborated but Irish couldn’t muster up the words.
“He’s trying to win us money to move out. Don't you want a big house?” Daisy asked.
“But why can’t you go? Why do I have to go?”
“Because I’m old, girl. Niggas don't wanna look at me. They want something young and pretty to look at.”
Irish gawked, unable to fathom how those words had come out of her mother’s mouth.
“Look, Baby Girl. You are so beautiful, and the way you had those niggas distracted won me a lot of money,” Emanuel explained. “With your unique look, I’ll have a bankroll in no time. All we need is a little more to move out and you’ll be done with it.”
Irish shook her head. She didn’t want to move. Moving away meant that she’d never see Jovanis again. He was her best friend. The person who understood her completely. Trying to collect moving expenses shouldn’t have been a burden she had to carry.
“But I don't want to. It feels creepy, and Emanuel touches me on my hip. I hate it,” she professed.
“Well, Emanuel, you don't have to touch her hip,” Daisy chastised him.
“I have to make it look like she belongs to me. You know how those niggas would look at me if they knew this was my stepdaughter?” he fussed.
“Well, I don't want her to be uncomfortable. You said it would be innocent so keep it that way.”
Irish’s heart broke every time Daisy spoke. She’d assumed her mother wasn’t aware of Emanuel’s plans but knowing she okayed it left her devastated.
“Okay, I’ll lay off the touching,” he agreed.
“See, Irish, Emanuel won’t make you uncomfortable anymore.” She turned to him. “Will you be heading there tonight?”
“Yeah.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ll be heading out in like thirty to forty minutes.”
Daisy turned to her. “Irish go get dressed so you can go.”
“Mama, please,” she begged, pressing her hands together. “Don't make me go.”
“Irish it’s only for a couple hours. Just smile and look like a doll while Emanuel get this money.”
This wasn’t right. There was no way a fourteen-year-old should’ve been prepped to be around men twice her age. Cosplaying as her stepfather’s girlfriend so he could win money should’ve been grounds for him to be arrested.
“Listen, don't I take care of you?” Emanuel asked. “I stepped in and made a vow to treat you like my own. Don't you think you should repay me for that?”
Irish was silent again since she didn’t know how to answer his question.
“How about this?” Daisy stood. “I’ll help you get really pretty and we can talk more. Just us girls.”
When Daisy smiled, Irish was repulsed. Her mother hadn’t been perfect, but she never anticipated her selling her out. Irish was so disappointed that tears sat on the brim of her eyes.
“Sure,” she mumbled.
“That’s my girl. Now let’s get you ready ‘cause I got a feeling Emanuel is going to win big.”
Chills made a home within Irish’s body every time she thought about her past. If she could have had a lobotomy performed to rid her mind of those painful memories, she would have.
That moment changed the course of Irish’s life.
She wondered if she hadn’t gone through that what kind of woman she would’ve been.
Would she be more successful without the remnants of trauma making an appearance every now and then?
Would her strong bond to Jovanis even exist if that hadn’t happened?
Irish wished she had a preview of her life unaltered.
The front door opened and Jovanis stepped inside. Ivory immediately scoffed, grabbed her iPad, and stood.
“Come on, Iv. You still mad at me?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes at him and continued down the hall where the slam of the door resounded through the house.
“Damn, she really ain't fucking with me right now,” he said in defeat.
“Rightfully so,” she quipped as he took a seat next to her.
They hadn’t been in each other’s presence in over a week. Jovanis had given her space, which she appreciated, but she sensed that something was on his mind.
“What about you? You still mad at me?”
“Of course, I am. I just had to order another coffee table because of your bullshit.”
Jovanis sighed before scratching through his locs that were in need of a retwisting. He then looked at her for what seemed like forever before asking, “What happened to your arm?”
Irish glanced at the bandages that covered her forearm. Whooping Shay’s ass gave her instant regret. She never resorted to violence and hated how she allowed Shay to provoke her.
“I accidentally hit it on the cabinet,” she lied.
Revealing that she fought Noble’s ex-wife would’ve surely set Jovanis off. Irish didn’t have the mental capacity to fight with him, so she withheld the truth.
“I've missed you, Irish,” he confessed. “Life’s been so boring with you being mad at me. I get why you mad but still… a nigga miss the fuck outta you.”
Irish sank further into the couch. She couldn’t say that she missed Jovanis. The only person that resided in her mind was Noble. He gave her no room to yearn for someone else.
“What you thinking about?” he questioned.
Shrugging, she responded. “I don't know. It’s been a lot going on. I need a break.”
“Tell me where you wanna go. I’ll take you.”
She quickly shook her head. “I don't mean like that. I just… I need a break from my life. I’m tired.”
Jovanis looked forward, tucking his lips between his teeth.
Irish knew what she wanted to say but she didn’t have the heart at that moment.
Everything within her being wanted to break the chains that she and Jovanis had locked themselves in.
It was time. Their bond was cemented but there was a separation that needed to happen so she could live her life outside of his expectations.
Jovanis rotated his body toward her. “Aye, I think it’s time.”
“Time for what?”
“To have a baby.”
With pinched brows, she said, “Huh?”
“Remember we made that pact. We said when we get to our thirties and if we not in a serious relationship, then we would have a baby.”
Irish uncomfortably shifted in her seat. She recalled the agreement they’d made when they were in their twenties. Back then, they were so careless and still living in the land of imagination. Now at age thirty-two, Irish couldn’t fathom bringing an innocent being into their chaos.
“Yeah, that was back then.”
“Okay, so what’s the problem?”
“Van… you're, you know, and I’m caught between a situation. Don't you think bringing a baby into the mix would further complicate things?”
He huffed, shaking his head. “Bro, all babies need is love and we got plenty of that for him or her.”
“No, that’s not all that babies need. They need support. They need parents who are emotionally available. They need parents who have complete understanding of what it takes to raise a child. Me and you are not there yet.”
He scoffed, flicking his hand. “Soon as you fall for that nigga, now you done forgot our plans.”
“Do you hear yourself? Why the hell would you want to bring a baby into our lives at this point?”
“Because I need you!” he bellowed, startling her. “Fuck, Irish, this marriage ain't enough for me. I need you in my life for the rest of my days, baby.”
Her eyes expanded as her head drew back. “What is going on with you?”
“I’m scared of losing you to him,” he admitted in a gentle tone. “You gave your heart to another man and you ain't never did no shit like that. How am I supposed to compete with that?”
“This isn’t a competition,” she fussed, shaking her head. “Why are you trying to compete?”
“Because before Noble came along, I never had to. But you fucked up by sneaking to see him behind my back. I still gotta work with this mothafucka, knowing he got you wrapped around his finger.”
“He does not,” she denied, knowing it was the truth.
“Yes, he does. You fell in love with him. You let him get to your heart. Now you changing all the plans we made.”
“Plans that were made back in our twenties. You do know that with age comes maturity. Would you want our child to grow up in dysfunction like we did?”
He cut his eyes at her. “You know I don't want that.”
“Then, why would you propose we have a baby when our lives are in such disarray?”
Jovanis remained quiet, sitting in deep thought. “I just need you, Irish.”
“I need you, too.”