Chapter 14
Fourteen
In between running the streets and hustling, Rio found time to spent with Rozalin.
Since their first date, they’d met up twice, enjoying each other’s company and getting to know one another.
Rozalin had been keeping his attention with her charm.
She was nice, seemed to be laid back, and didn’t have much baggage.
“Do you enjoy live music?” she asked before sipping on her wine.
Rio shrugged. “I don't mind it, but I don't go looking for it.”
“See, that’s why I’m here,” she teased. “Show you something different.”
He smirked at her before looking at the menu. They were at Midnight Vibe, where there was a live band. The place was packed but thanks to Rio’s connections, they were able to get in with ease.
“So, how are you feeling about life as a single man?” Rozalin quizzed.
Rio stalled for a bit, trying to separate what he wanted to say versus what he felt. That’s all he did these days—hold his feelings close to his heart and portray himself as a direct contradiction of what the truth was.
“It’s cool. Different but cool.”
In actuality, this was strange for Rio. Not having his wife at home waiting for him was torture.
A part of Rio wished he could’ve called Cali and demanded her whereabouts like he used to.
He felt insane for that. She was a cheater.
She had put him in harm’s way, and she couldn’t be trusted.
Still, Rio’s heart wouldn’t release Cali even if he presented a pardon.
She was there, dwelling deep in the nook of his mind, tormenting him.
“It’s cool,” she mocked. “That’s it? What about it being freeing? Or you didn’t expect it to be like this? Give me something, DuRio.”
Ever since she’d learned of his real name, Rozalin insisted on calling him that. He kind of liked it.
Sitting back in the booth, he gazed at her. “Why you always wanna be in my head?”
Grinning, she propped her chin on her open palm. “Because you're a mystery to me. I wanna know what you're thinking about.”
“You wanna know what I’m thinking in general or how I’m feeling about you?”
She motioned uncertainty with her shoulders. “I guess the latter, yeah.”
“Yo’ frontin’ ass.”
They both laughed.
“I like you, though.” His gaze started at her face then fell to her heavy breasts that spilled from her corset. “You wore that for me?”
“Maybe,” she flirted.
Rozalin was good at flirting. Batting her long lashes and swiping her hand down the back of her pixie, she played the innocent card well.
“When Cali said you were a good guy, it’s not that I didn’t believe her. I just didn’t think there were any good guys left. But she knew what she was talking about.”
What the fuck you bringing her up for?
Rio quickly gulped his shot in an effort to calm his nerves. Cali’s name still provoked rage to come to the forefront of his mind. He may have missed her but on top of that were layers of hatred that was reserved for her.
“I ain't no good guy,” he confessed. “My ex ruined all that shit.”
Rozalin angled her head. “I beg to differ. I think you're amazing.”
Rio chuckled before locking eye contact with the bartender and pointing at his empty glass.
There were stars in Rozalin’s eyes when she peered at him.
The admiration was flattering but she had to know that there were certain qualities he would be unable to give her right now.
Cali had stolen the very essence of him, and he didn’t think he would ever get it back.
“I gotta be honest with you, Rozalin. If you're looking for this stand-up guy that’s going to honor you and give you the very best of him, I’m not that guy, baby. Shit, I’m not even supposed to be doing this kind of shit after what I went through.”
Rio had so much he hadn’t dealt with. He’d pushed the demise of his marriage under the bed like a kid who didn’t want to clean their room.
It hadn’t settled in his mind that he survived a near-fatal crash.
He still had remnants of headaches and breathing problems from his accident.
All of that transpiring within a six-month span took a mental toll on Rio.
Coming to terms with his alternate life hadn’t been a priority and he didn’t think it would be any time soon.
Rozalin reached for his hand just as the bartender sat his drink on the table.
“I understand. You’ve been through a lot. I’m not looking for anything serious at this moment. In the future…” She seesawed her head. “Yes, I would like a commitment but I’m not saying I want that right now. I just want us to enjoy each other.”
“You sure?”
She nodded, flashing her perfect teeth. “Yes, I’m sure, DuRio. I’m a big girl. You don't have to spoon feed me anything. We’re both consenting adults who have no reason to lie to each other. If you keep it real with me, I’ll do the same. Deal?” She held her glass up.
There was something about her that had Rio’s attention. She may not get all that he could offer but he wanted to stick around.
Rio tapped her glass with his. “Cool.”
She eyed him before taking a sip of her wine. “So, I wanted to extend an invitation to stay the night with me.”
His brows hiked as a broad grin spread across his lips. “Spend the night, huh?”
“Yes, I would love to have you.” She circled her middle finger around the rim of her glass.
Yeah, I see that invitation.
“How about you come to my spot?”
Rio didn’t do sleepovers at women’s homes. He was too paranoid to lay his head down without thinking one of them would set him up. Despite that, he liked Rozalin and loved fucking her even more.
“I can do that.”
“A’ight, cool. Get hydrated ‘cause I’m not taking it easy on you.”
“Oh, you know I love it rough.” She winked.
“Yeah, I know your freak ass do.”
“So, where did he take you?”
Irish stood in front of the full-height window, overlooking the city.
Lights dazzled from the cars whizzing through the streets while the blocks of buildings gave St. Parklynn so much depth.
It had been a couple days since her trip to Jade Mountain, and Irish wished she was still there.
Back in their sanctuary, she could hide from the troubles of her life.
Enveloping herself in Noble’s presence was a temporary remedy to take her mind off what was to come.
Now she was back in St. Parklynn at Noble’s condo, talking to Cali about everything she’d missed.
“Jade Mountain.” A subtle smile emerged on her lips, thinking about all the excursions and bonding she and Noble had done.
“Ooooh,” Cali teased. “That nigga love you, girl.”
She chuckled, remembering the countless times Noble had allowed that declaration to fall from his lips.
“You seem better,” Irish noted, changing the subject. “I’ve been worried sick about you.”
“Seeming better and feeling better aren’t the same thing… Irish, I hate myself right now.”
The pain in Cali’s voice caused an ache to slice through Irish’s chest. She had never heard Cali sound so defeated.
“You shouldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re humans and we make fucked-up decisions. If God doesn’t hate you, then you shouldn’t hate you.”
“No, God definitely don't like me right now. I have no husband, no job, or no place of my own. How is that? A thirty-five-year-old woman don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw the shit out of. I’m really the loser I used to call other girls.”
Irish chuckled. “You have your family and you have me.”
“Yeah, I know… I don't wanna talk about my depressive-ass life right now. What are you going to do about your situation? You have Jovanis and you have Noble. Who do you choose?”
Before, that question left her stumped. Both men held her heart in different ways. They both were much-needed vessels, but she couldn’t have them both. Jovanis and Noble had made that very clear.
“I love Jovanis,” she said with a sigh. “The amount of love I have for him is endless but… I’m in love with Noble. I’ve never felt this way about any man in my life. I can’t explain it.”
“You don't need to. I know the exact feeling you're talking about. I felt it after Rio’s accident. It’s this love that feels so good. Like you wanna just wrap yourself up and live in the shit.”
“Yes, exactly like that.” Irish was relieved someone comprehended where her heart stood with Noble.
“I was scared that our love was a facade, ya know. Like was it just the thrill of doing something behind Jovanis’ back or did we really fall for each other?
When we separated, I felt like I would die.
I couldn’t do anything because life didn’t feel right without him in it. ”
“I know the feeling.”
Irish paused for a second. “Cali, if you and Rio shared this magical, mystical love, I feel like you two will find your way back to each other.”
She snorted. “Irish, I had to be real with myself. Ain't no coming back from what I did. It took a while for me to accept it, but Rio will never look at me the same. He will never touch me, and he will never love me again.”
“You don't know that.” The optimist in Irish had to think positively even if the odds were against Cali.
“On a brighter note, I applied for a job in Diamond Falls, and they requested a phone interview.”
Irish’s ginger brows lowered as she quickly sat on the sofa. “Diamond Falls? Where the hell is that?”
“East Coast.”
“No, Cali, you can’t leave me.”
She tittered and replied, “Girl, it’s just a phone interview.”
“But what if you get the job?”
“And what if I don't?”
“Cali,” Irish groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “This is very selfish of me to say but I need you to be here.”
I’m married and pregnant by a man who’s not my husband…
Irish wasn’t ready to reveal her pregnancy yet.