Chapter 18
Kenzee
He’s lying there with his eyes closed and I can’t tell if he’s asleep or not. But I keep talking just the same.
“I saw you lying there, Storm. I…”
“Leave.” His scratchy voice startles me a little.
“What?”
“I said leave, Kenzee.”
“What are you talking about? You just got back and I-“ he cuts me off. His eyes fly open, and he glares at me with so much anger and pain that it nearly knocks the breath out of me.
“I said leave. This shit, between you and me? This isn’t gonna work. I don’t know why the fuck I thought it would.”
“What are you saying?”
“You heard what I said. This isn’t gonna work, Kenzee. It’s over,” he says, and my heart shatters inside of me.
“No. It’s not. You don’t get to come back and decide that.” He looks down at the cut I’m wearing, the one that says Property of Storm across the back.
“Who gave you that?”
“They thought you would want me to have it.”
“Well, I don’t. Take it off,” he growls. I take a step back, unsure of what the hell is happening here. He can’t be serious. Can he?
“Is it…is it that girl out there? Is that what’s going on?” he huffs out a breath and shakes his head before shifting to sit himself off. I see him wince in pain, and I want to help him, but I stay back.
“She helped me, that’s it. I promised her that I would help her. This has nothin’ to do with her.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s us, Kenzee! It’s you! This shit, this life, it’s not yours. Just like you said before, you don’t want this.”
“Storm, we’ve been over this. I want you.”
“No. You can’t fuckin’ have me, Kenzee. Not anymore. I fucked up messin’ with you. I should have never laid a hand on you.”
“How can you say that? You don’t know the hell that I’ve gone through since you’ve been gone, Storm,” I scream at him.
“That’s exactly what I’m sayin’. Don’t you fuckin’ get it? You don’t need this shit. You wanted to be free of this club and date who you wanted. I’m givin’ you that chance, Kenzee. Get the fuck out of my room!” He roars louder this time. I’m about to take a step back but I don’t.
“No.”
“What?”
“No. I’m not leaving.”
“You don’t have a fuckin’ choice. I don’t want you here,” he roars this time. I could lie and say that his words aren’t killing me inside. I could lie and say that I’m not hurt by what he’s saying, but I know why he’s saying it.
“You don’t get to pick and choose when I’m around anymore, Storm. We made a deal.”
“What fuckin’ deal, Kenzee?”
“The one when you said that you’d try!”
“And I did. It didn’t work.”
“Because of this? Because of what happened? Don’t be a fucking coward, Storm.” He huffs out a breath as I take a step closer to him. He won’t even look me in the eye now, and that pisses me off. I step up next to the bed and grab his face in my hand, forcing him to look at me.
“Tell me you don’t love me.”
“Fuck you,” he hisses as I squeeze his face harder in my hand. He doesn’t make a move to move it, so I hold on.
“Tell me you don’t love me, Storm. Say the fucking words, and I’ll walk out of this room.”
“Fuck you, Kenzee.” The door opens behind me but I don’t bother looking over.
“Say it!” I scream in his face. His eyes move from me to whoever is in the room and back. He smirks at me now, a dark, evil smirk.
“I don’t.”
“Liar. You said it to me. You meant it.” Now he reaches up and slaps my hand away from his face when I hear my uncle clear his throat.
“What’s this?”
“Storm thinks he can push me away now.”
“Is that right?” My uncle asks.
“I don’t want her here,” Storm tells him. My uncle chuckles and walks over next to me.
“Here’s the thing, Storm. I didn’t like this shit when it first started.
I’m not a huge fuckin’ fan as of right now, but I do know what this shit has done to her.
You can see for yourself just lookin’ at her, so if she wants to sit in this goddamn room for the rest of her life, I’m gonna let her.
In fact, no one here is gonna tell her no.
They’ve all watched her spiral out of control losin’ you.
Now if that doesn’t tell you what you need to know, then nothin’ will. ”
“What if the feelin’ isn’t mutual?” Storm asks him.
“Isn’t it? Because I seem to think it is. And so does everyone else here.”
“You don’t know shit! She didn’t want this life, Jenson! I’m givin’ her exactly what she wanted.”
“You ever change your mind, Storm? Ever think about somethin’ you wanted and then decided, fuck it?
You ever found somethin’ better in life than what you had and decided you wanted to keep it?
That’s exactly what Kenzee did with you.
No, she didn’t want this shit and who the fuck could blame her after what happened to her dad?
But she found you, Storm. She found somethin’ in this fucked up life worth fightin’ for.
Don’t give up that easily on her.” My uncle grabs my arm and pulls me from the room, closing the door behind us.
I can hear Storm roaring before things begin to break inside the room.
“Should we?” I motion to the room. He shakes his head.
“No. He’s a grown ass man. Let him have his little temper tantrum.”
“He’s hurt,” I remind him.
“Yeah, he is. In more ways than one. Men like him, you gotta let them cool off, Kenz. Give him a minute to think about what we said. He’s a thickheaded bastard that won’t listen to reason, but eventually it’ll sink in.”
“He doesn’t want me,” I tell him as we walk to the main room.
“He doesn’t know what he wants right now. He’s pissed at the world over what happened to him and the fact that it happened in front of you,” he says.
“Did he say that?”
“Didn’t have to. I can see the look in the man’s eyes, sweetheart. He loves you, Kenzee. He just needs to come to terms with you lovin’ him. Aside from the club, I don’t think anyone has loved him before in his life.”
“His parents left him.”
“Yeah, they did. And he’s never been the same since then. It’s hard for a man like him to accept someone’s love when he’s never had it before.”
“It wasn’t hard for me,” I remind him. He chuckles.
“Kenz, you got a whole fuckin’ club that loves you. Your dad loved you. You see what I mean? You know what it feels like to be loved. He doesn’t.” I blow out a breath and watch my uncle walk away as I head to the bar. I’m not much of a drinker, but I need one right now.
A few of the girls behind the bar smile at me, but no one says a word. It’s probably for the best right now. I don’t want to be rude to them after all they’ve done for me.
I grab the drink that’s sat in front of me and take it down in one gulp before motioning for another. I can vaguely hear my uncle telling Patch that I’m probably going to drink myself to sleep tonight, and the thought of that makes me laugh.
I don’t remember the last time I’ve been that drunk, and maybe he’s right. Maybe that’s what I’ll do.
I keep tossing them back as I think about him lying there. I can’t stop the tears this time as they fall down my cheeks. No one bothers me. No one asks me what’s wrong. They all leave me alone to drown the fucking memories.
When the main room is nearly empty, I stand from the stool and stumble down the hall. I don’t give a fuck that he doesn’t want me in his room. I go there anyway. I strip out of my clothes and drop onto his couch, my legs spread wide. I’m fucked up, and I’m horny.
“Storm,” I moan his name as I slip my hand between my legs and find myself soaked just thinking about him. My glossy eyes find him staring back at me, but he doesn’t say a word.
I slide my fingers in and out of myself, biting my lip as I watch him watching me.
I pull my soaked fingers from my pussy and play with my clit, arching off the couch.
Fuck this feels so good, but I want it to be him.
So that’s what I do. I picture him between my thighs, licking and sucking.
I rub hard, fast circles around my clit, gasping for air as feelings rocket through me.
“Storm, oh fuck,” I groan the closer I get. My eyes stay on his until they drop between my legs and come back. There’s a war in his eyes, I can see it but I don’t care at this point.
I keep going as my stomach tightens and my orgasm shoots off.
“Oh fuck yes!” I cry out as I let it wash over me. I’m a panting mess when I finally sit myself up on the couch. I bring my soaked fingers to my lips and lick them clean while he watches me. Then I stand, grabbing one of his shirts and tugging it over my head before moving toward the door.
“Kenz,” he says softly. I laugh and turn to look over my shoulder.
“Fuck you, Storm. You think you can get rid of me that easily? You’re wrong.” Then I head out the door and slam it closed behind me before dragging my ass back to my own room.