Chapter 12 #2
He stopped, looked over his shoulder and then began to run again.
Zoe could almost imagine the mental shrug he’d given at her desperate calling, and on any other day, it might have been funny.
She had no choice but to give chase, though she worried that doing so might make things worse.
She could have held her nerve and waited for him to come back, but right now she didn’t have much of a nerve to hold.
Grizzle seemed to be tuned into her pace, so the faster she ran, the faster he ran too. Instead of catching him up, Zoe could only watch as he got further away.
After a couple of minutes he seemed to slow down, sniffing around a tuft of wild grass.
And then he started to paw at the ground.
Zoe took advantage of his distraction and dashed over.
She could see the end of the lead that was supposed to be in her hand, lying beside him on the ground, and lunged for it, only for Griz to look up and, as if he’d known her intent, dodge out of her way, taking the lead with him.
‘Come on!’ Zoe panted. ‘Cut me some slack, Griz! Stay! Stay, you daft dog, otherwise this is the last time I take you out!’
He ran wide circles around the field. Ahead, Zoe could see the entrance to the enclosure that housed the camping pods.
She hoped none of the guests could see her right now.
She vaguely supposed she might appreciate an offered hand if someone did see her and came to help, but she didn’t want to embarrass Alex if they recognised Grizzle as the dog belonging to their host.
She panted as she continued to chase, now sweating in too many layers for the job, and to her annoyance, Grizzle circled back to the place where she’d first tried to catch up with him and began to sniff at the same tuft of grass.
Then he began to dig, clumps of earth flying into the air as he scraped frantically at the spot.
Zoe fumbled with the buttons of her jacket as she tried to cool down, jogging now instead of running, and then eventually walking back to him.
He was too busy to run away now, and, worn out, she didn’t see the point in rushing.
She was also too miserable and too grumpy to rush.
She wanted to shout at him, but even though Alex and Billie weren’t there to see it, somehow it didn’t feel right to tell their dog off.
And after all, Grizzle was only doing what his instincts told him to, and it was hardly his fault.
Zoe was briefly reminded of her first meeting with Alex; if Grizzle hadn’t been quite so excitable, that might not have happened at all.
She’d just decided to forgive him and was trying to calm herself down when her phone pinged the arrival of a message.
Preoccupied with reading her phone screen while keeping an eye on Grizzle’s location, she forgot to watch where she was putting her feet.
A second later, she tripped on a protruding stone and was tossed onto her face, her phone flying into the air and landing feet away.
It took a moment to comprehend what had happened, and that she was seemingly uninjured.
And then she saw her phone lying on the ground.
It didn’t seem damaged either. Despite all this, it took another short moment for her to start crying, tears of frustration and despair at her current situation in equal measure.
She’d already been close to her wits’ end when she’d embarked on this stupid walk, but she’d arrived there in style now.
Rolling onto her back, she turned her face to the sky and wept, and she didn’t care who might see.
‘Stupid dog,’ she sobbed. ‘Stupid body. Stupid rocks in the stupid ground. Stupid place… why did I come here? Stupid Lake District. I should have stayed in Manchester.’
She indulged herself for a minute, cursing everything and everyone until she got it out of her system, and then was immediately taken by a rush of guilt for all her uncharitable thoughts that made her want to cry all over again for a different reason.
But eventually she pushed herself to sit and rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes, and, with a giant sniff, got to her feet and went to retrieve her phone.
By now, Grizzle had made an impressive crater.
It was tempting to take a seat and let him get on with it, because he seemed to be enjoying himself and Zoe wanted to read the message that had come through on her phone, but then she recalled that around about here was where they’d seen the rabbits, and the thought of him digging up their burrows and scaring them to death was too much for her to ignore.
She couldn’t help it – she was angrier than she wanted to be with Grizzle, and as she reached for his lead and snapped at him to come away, he suddenly seemed to sense it. His head whipped up, face covered in soil and a puzzled expression beneath the mess.
‘Now!’ Zoe yanked at the lead. ‘Come away! We’re going home!’
Despite his obvious confusion, for a moment he refused to follow as she turned in the direction of Hilltop, but when she pulled harder, he must have realised that his fun was over.
Reluctantly at first, he followed, but as they got further away from the scene of the crime – perhaps because the scent had left him or because he simply had a goldfish memory – he seemed to forget that he was meant to be desperate to dig to the centre of the earth because he calmed down and began to walk at Zoe’s side.
She couldn’t be sure how long he’d be good for, and so she didn’t dare get out her phone this time.
Instead, she watched him closely as she marched back to the farm, ready for the first sign of trouble.
Billie was in the kitchen with Louisa, trying to rock her to sleep, when Zoe walked in with Grizzle.
‘What the hell…?’ She stared at the two of them, both covered in mud. And then frowned. ‘I said he’d have you over.’
‘He didn’t,’ Zoe said. ‘I had myself over.’
‘Why’s he so dirty…? Zoe, you’ll have to get him out – he’s getting mud everywhere!’
Zoe moved her mouth to argue but then decided Billie was right.
Though she wanted nothing more than to get off her own muddy clothes and make a cup of tea, she’d have to clean Grizzle up first. It was one more reason to be annoyed with the lolloping pooch that she ordinarily loved to be around.
If her hormones were playing any part in her current mood, she dreaded to think what life was going to be like as her menopause progressed, and the notion made her want to cry all over again.
Swallowing it back, she caught hold of Grizzle’s collar.
‘I’ll use the tap in the shed… could you fetch me the dog shampoo?’
Billie raised her eyes to the sky. Zoe understood that she was trying to calm a fractious Louisa, but it was hardly helping. Then she let out a short, sharp breath before marching to the cupboard to search for Grizzle’s soap. Without a word, she located it and then handed it to Zoe.
‘How’s Louisa now?’ Zoe asked.
‘She’d be better if she didn’t keep getting disturbed.’
‘I didn’t mean to,’ Zoe fired back, with more savagery in her voice than she’d meant.
If Billie was offended by it, she didn’t say so. She simply took Louisa into the living room.
As the door slammed shut behind them, Zoe turned back to Grizzle. ‘Looks like we’re both in the doghouse. Come on, you daft mutt – we’d better get you cleaned up.’
Taking advantage of the privacy, Zoe allowed herself another little cry as she cleaned Grizzle up, so by the time she took him back to the house and went upstairs to wash and change herself, she was all cried out.
Still miserable but cleansed of her immediate angst, once she was clean and dry again, she remembered the text message waiting on her phone and unlocked to see it wasn’t from Ottilie, as she’d thought, but from Simon.
I have a friend who owes me a favour. He knows a great Harley Street specialist. I can put you in touch if you like – they’ll do you a free consultation, and it’ll be up to you if you want to continue treatment with them.
No pressure but thought I’d ask. Ordinarily, I’d frown on going private – you know my feelings on the NHS – but I know how much of a shock your blood results have been.
If anyone deserves to jump the queue just this once, it’s you.
Zoe flopped onto the bed. After rereading the message, she decided that she didn’t need to see anyone privately – what would be the point?
They’d only tell her what she knew, and what did it matter if her consultation was now or in three months?
It wouldn’t change anything. But she was touched by the gesture, and despite assuming she was fully emptied of tears, surprising new ones pricked at her eyes.
She sniffed them away and replied to Simon to thank him.
She didn’t refuse his offer outright but told him she’d think it over, though she was fairly sure she wouldn’t take it up in the end.
She went back to the text she’d sent to Ottilie, still unanswered, and was about to send her another one telling her not to worry and that the crisis was over, when Ottilie beat her to it with a reply.
I’m so sorry I didn’t see your message. Flo’s gone down with the flu, and I’ve been running back and forth to her place.
I know we’ve got to look after her, but I’m terrified Anthony is going to catch it, so I took him over to Stacey’s for a few hours, but then she wanted to talk to me about something Chloe had done and…
well, you know what it’s like. Anyway, I’ve got half an hour or so before I have to go and pick up Anthony.
Do you need me to call? Or if it’s something that needs longer, I can try to make time at the weekend. x
Ottilie sounded as if she had enough going on without Zoe adding to her burden.
It’s fine, it’s nothing that can’t wait. Is everything under control? I wonder if the flu is going around. Louisa’s a bit off today – that could be it. x