Chapter 19
TO LEAVE OR NOT TO LEAVE, THAT IS THE QUESTION
Fingers reach out, snaking around my neck, pressure pulling me under. I can see it, the tree line. Nix, Mam, and Sunny wave at the precipice, calling to me. No sound coming out, just their mouths moving, their smiles bright.
I want to go to them, run towards that forest with glee, yet that hand which has turned thick and long travels around my neck, pulling me closer and closer back to Halo.
When I look down, I startle. A crimson snake has hold of me.
Ruby eyes capture me for a beat. Then, I remember them again—my loves—and I look up to find fog blanketing them, having disappeared beyond the barren expanse.
I’m torn by a serpent back into the depths of Halo, a slithering ringing in my ears. “Save me.”
A flash of electric blue washes over my vision, and a hand grips me on either side of my head, drawing me near.
Flames, tearing a streak of azure through my vision, surround me from all corners.
Panic clutches, springing through my throat, my eyes flying open to spot two milky white orbs staring back at me, a soft lilt on feminine lips.
“It will not harm you.” The sound she makes travels through me, her mouth unmoving.
At the sweet, soft vibration, I’m instantly comforted, her palms holding me tightly in place.
“I’m coming for you.” Bright blues, both light and dark, start flickering in brilliance around us, circling us.
They do not heat. Instead, I feel safe. Familial.
Whole. “I will find you.” Her forehead rests against mine. “Trust the fae.”
In an instant, the beauty of the dancing blue surrounding me and my companion is no more…
I startle, dream tucked firmly away in my subconscious, almost expecting to wake to a crying baby.
Thankfully, I rise to the strong, overheating comfort of my fierce commander husband, wrapped in a deliciousness that has me sinking.
Opening my groggy eyes, I notice the scruffy head of a miniature Melek in front of me, sleeping peacefully.
My breath is an outward relief as I also notice the rounded stomach before me. Thank the gods or whatever entity I need to grovel at the feet of who granted me this mercy.
After taking stock of my most prized possessions, I feel wide awake, the dream I had while out chilling. Shaking it off, I stretch out next to my husband. I notice the total lack of discomfort in my body, which confuses me. Even my arm, where Melek put the transfusion line, doesn’t hurt.
Broad hands pull me somehow closer to the muscled chest behind me. “Good morning, wife.”
It takes a moment to register. “Morning?”
Melek grumbles behind me, “Yes. You slept through the day and the night.”
Wow. Maybe that explains my lack of tiredness.
He gives me space to turn around in his arms. Facing him, the light trickling in from the open curtains illuminates the grey tint to his irises.
Raising a finger to the cut of his cheekbones, I trace upwards to his eye and around the deep grooves I see underneath.
“How bad was it?” When Melek mentioned the word transfusion, I knew I had lost a lot of solence.
Once I was in bed, I’d felt a stickiness below my dress before I lost consciousness.
The emergency kit in our bedroom had been put there right after the original incident that should’ve resulted in both mine and Sunny’s deaths, but someone—the man lying next to me— knew how to run a transfusion line from his medic training as a soldier in the fairy wars.
Luckily for us, he happened to keep one in his first aid kit at home. Melek is a universal solence donor for Halo, so he didn’t hesitate to give me his essence until we were nearly both drained the first time.
I wonder how far he took it this time.
He takes my hip, running his hand along my thigh.
Skin pebbling at his touch, my toes curl.
Drawing my leg over his own makes the distance between us even smaller.
“Nothing I couldn’t fix.” His confidence in the face of my death is pretty astounding, really, considering he was a raging mess the first time this happened.
“So, she’s okay?”
A kiss finds my forehead. “As fit as ever. You both just needed a little more of me inside you.”
I push on his shoulder. He doesn’t let me get far. “Really? I’ve got enough of you inside me, don’t you think?!”
“You’ll never have enough of me, and you know it, wife.” Mirth stirs the tendrils of my hair. “I do have some news,” he continues.
“Oh, what news?” He runs his hand up my back.
“You are on strict bed rest from now until Phoenix’s birth.”
“Argh, what? I feel fine. That’s totally ridiculous.” This time, I try to pull away with concerted effort. He holds me tighter.
“Need I remind you that only yesterday you lost enough solence to be on the precipice of death. The only thing that saved your life was me.”
I knew it was bad. He was too calm yesterday, and it was because it was a literal repeat of what happened before. But this time, he got to me sooner, and the stubborn girl inside me hung on.
I want to give him a scathing reply. I can’t. Nothing except a brush of air escapes my lips.
“Is Sunny okay, at least?”
Melek grunts, bringing his head to mine, forehead to forehead, nose to nose. “It was just a bruise. He is fine. You shouldn’t have carried him.”
“He fell from the top of the treehouse. He wasn’t moving. You would’ve done the same thing,” I fling back. I could’ve sworn it was broken with the way he was acting.
“Yes, but I’m not the one with a high-risk pregnancy.
” His voice says I’m angry at you. His hands tell a different story, digging into my skin, his cock hardening, which I have been ignoring until this point, is begging for attention.
Grinding himself upwards, I twist my leg around his, moaning softly. “I’ve got some more news.”
“What?”
“No more penetrative intercourse. Doctor’s orders.” What? Did he say penetrative intercourse?
“The doctor said those exact words?”
Groaning dispassionately, he answers, “Yes.”
A bubble of laughter erupts out of me. I imagine the doctor telling the commander of Halo that he can no longer fuck his wife—his favourite hobby.
When Sunny was born, Melek kept his hands to himself for four whole weeks.
After a while, I stopped being impressed by his resolve.
More like despised it. I never told him he had to stay away.
He would help me with Sunny and anything else I needed, but he never crossed the line.
Eventually, I had to coerce him into touching me.
Breakable, I was not. After the first few weeks of birth with extra Melek solence in me, I felt good as new. Better than new.
Ravenous.
There were times I feigned help with my clothes or complained about my back being sore just so I could feel the brush of his skin against mine. His fingers never lingered beyond a basic propriety touch.
It grew infuriating.
I don’t remember the exact moment in time I realised I was addicted to his touch.
It was around the period when I was pursuing him that I saw he was under my skin, and I had no hope of shaking him loose.
He’d ensnared me. Which is crazy considering I spent the first half of our marriage wishing to slit his throat and telling him off every chance I got.
On the thirty-first night, after I put Sunny in his bassinet, I found him sipping whisky by the fire in the main living room, replying to messages on his phone.
I straddled the motherfucker, pulled out his cock, and rubbed up against him like a crazed animal in heat.
After that silent permission, he was back on me every night like nothing had changed, and I secretly relished it.
The girl taking up residence in my body isn’t due for another month, and that original pregnancy’s four weeks without him screwing me into a coma were brutal. This time, I have to last.
Abstinence could be rewarding—no, it will be rewarding.
That first time, I think Melek was also barely lasting, too, if his foul mood towards everyone was any indication. So, technically, I did everyone a service by jumping on his cock. He was much more amenable after that.
I lick his lip. “I hope that’s all he said, because if you can’t suck on my clit, I might spontaneously combust.”
That garners a pussy-clenching growl from him. “He only said intercourse was off the table.”
“Good, because I can’t have you stomping around the house like last time.”
He comes impossibly close, wedging his torso into mine, legs tangled, as he gruffly asks, “You notice my moods?” The implication being he doesn’t have moods, and also that I pay attention to him, which he knows I do. How else can I annoy him if I don’t know what pushes his buttons?
“The sun rises and sets on your moods.” Wrong thing to say. He goes for my sides, tickling me.
I try to hold it in, but I can’t. “Stop. Melek, stop,” getting out through short cackles.
“You know my mood only changes because of you, so I’d say the sun rises and sets with you, wife.”
Bastard. Absolute asshole. My heart dissolves, and if I weren’t already lying down, I’d be on the floor.
“You can’t say stuff like that.” I push at his chest with vigour. He puts his mouth on mine, his expert tongue finding the seam of my lips, teasing before releasing me. My chest gallops.
“I only say what my heart wants you to hear.”
Grey eyes burrow into mine, darkness flickering, clouding his irises, thick with everything unsaid between us. I see the truth in him. This stupid hollow asshole loves me. The idiot fell in love with a half-Halo, a mutt. He shouldn’t waste his breath. He shouldn’t—
His lips open to mine, devouring and possessive. I partake in everything he has to offer me willingly, without restraint.
Fuck.
The way his hands take hold of my body is both punishing and sweet.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate him for making me feel. For making me addicted to him. And for making me think it’s something more than pure, sinful lust.
Ring. Ring.