Day 99
Adam
“Give up?” I repeat. “What do you mean?”
“Maybe giving up is the wrong way to put it.” Eve sighs. “But… I think it’s obvious that there isn’t anyone left.” Her face is dark, solemn, and I know she’s thinking about her family, but there’s decisiveness there, too. Acceptance.
She’s always been so much smarter than me.
“We’ve been trying to play this game using the same rules of the world we had before, but I don’t think we’re getting that world back.” Her voice is quiet. “Maybe there’s no point in dwelling on it. No point trying to get back something that’s gone.”
“That’s a good way to think about it.” She speaks like she’s said those words before, and I know she’s probably reciting them from her family therapy. Only this time, it’s her entire family she’s trying to leave behind, not just her sister.
“No more talking about the past.” It’s like a vow, full of pain and unshed tears. “There’s no use.”
I nod, even though she’s not looking at me, letting her come to terms with it in her own time. A few minutes pass before she talks again.
“We need to think of a new goal.” Her blue eyes stare over the horizon. “When this all started, I had a goal of finding people.”
“Well, that was a bust,” I mutter.
“I found you.” Her voice is soft, and her gaze drifts to mine, for a short, fleeting moment.
I let the warmth inside me linger for a while longer before speaking. “So, what’s our new goal?”
She shrugs. “Surviving?”
“We already are,” I point out.
“Living, then. Maybe we need to start thinking more long term.” She leans her chin on her knees as she hugs them to her chest. “Maybe we can…”
“What?”
“Find a place to stay,” she says quietly like she’s scared of my reaction. “Permanently.”
The implication she doesn’t voice echoes in the silence after her words.
She wants to settle down. Together.
“What do you want that to look like?” I ask gently. “Practically,” I add when she seems at a loss for words. “Is there a specific place we should look for?”
What do you want our life together to look like? Is what I don’t dare to ask.
Ever so logical, I can tell the shift in conversation soothes her.
“Well, ideally,” she starts, and in my head, she takes my hand and walks me through it.
“If we want to live comfortably, we should try growing some of our food. Maybe even some animals, as long as they’re…
normal. So, some kind of farmhouse could be a good idea. ”
The Eve in my head is pointing at a barn, and then at some fields, and I nod for her to continue.
“We’ll need some generators because we can’t count on electricity, maybe a well, too, to make sure we have water.
A big property for sure,” she adds, her brows pinched together in deep thought.
“For storage. During the winter, we might have to count on cans and dried foods—we’ll need a freeze drier, or whatever those are called. Oh, and a fireplace…”
She keeps talking, and with each word, the image in my mind is clearer. More and more details add up to create a dream of us, together, and just like in real life, the sight of her next to me makes it a utopian vision.
“It’ll be hard,” she warns. “We’ll have to be… farmers. I know nothing about growing vegetables or wheat or taking care of chickens, but we’ll have to learn.”
“We have books,” I speak for the first time in a long time. “And we have that brain of yours. We’ll figure it out.”
She smiles briefly, faintly, at the compliment. There’s something else that’s troubling her, and after taking in a breath, she asks, “Do you want to?”
“To live with you?” The Eve in my vision fades into the real one, who’s looking at me worriedly. “There isn’t anyone else I’d rather do this with.”
“Well, obviously there isn’t,” she tries to joke, but I can tell it’s forced by the half-assed smile on her lips.
“I want to do this with you.” I refuse to fall back on teasing. For the first time, I’m the one insisting on staying serious as I add, “Even if the world was full again.”
Her chest expands and I think her eyes might be tearing up, but she gets a hold of herself quicker than I can determine for sure.
“Okay then,” she lets out, inhaling and exhaling deeply. “Let’s do it.”