Chapter 19 #2
Wiping at my eye with my right hand, I held the plaque in my left, looking down at it. This is how it was written…
The Iron Woman Award
Awarded To
Riot St. James
For hard work, dedication, and resilience
Awarded By Uzi’s Gurlz Initiative
After looking at it, I went ahead, and stood next to Uzi, so that we could take more pictures. After they got enough pictures, I headed back for my seat.
This event was hosted outside. The weather was nice today, so none of the girls were complaining about the Florida heat.
We were out here in the back lot of the warehouse.
Usually, we would come out here to do drills, and all it ever was out here was a bunch of land.
This afternoon, it looked different. She transformed it into something softer for this ceremony for us.
The way she had our chairs lined up in rows made it feel like graduation.
She went with the colors black and pink, so all throughout the outside space, there were a bunch of pink and black balloons, that framed the stage area.
Off to the side, those same colors were used for the linen runners on the long tables, that held all kinds of catered foods, and desserts.
Drinks, and everything were lined up over there too.
From the decorations alone, you could tell that Uzi spent a pretty penny.
This didn’t surprise me though. Everything that she did, she would go big, so this was right up her alley.
She wanted to keep it small and intimate, having just the members of the class, along with the staff here, so it wasn’t like our families were off to the side, coming out to celebrate this moment with us.
The ceremony part was over, and Uzi told us that we could start opening our gifts, eating, taking advantage of the photo booths, and everything else that was here for us.
Since I was so thirsty to see what was inside of this duffle bag, I ended up standing out of my chair, and I placed the bag on the seat.
A lot of the girls were digging inside the bags, wanting to see what Uzi gifted us.
The first thing that I pulled out was a beautiful hot pink leather jacket, and on the back of it, it read, ‘Uzi’s Gurlz’.
My name was custom on the front of it. Right there were a name tag would go.
I held it up in the air, turning it around, really trying to get a feel of how nice it was.
I pulled out a hot pink silk pajamas afterwards, and this really had me drooling because I could see me walking around the house now in this two pieced silk pajamas that had the same ‘Uzi’s Gurlz’ stamp on it, but with my name on the front.
Custom house shoes were inside as well. When I saw the hot pink gun bag, that’s when I rubbed my hands together, ready to see what was in there.
It was a fully bedazzled pink, and black Glock.
The gun was nice as hell, as I held it in my hands, sliding the slide back, making sure the chamber was empty.
It was so pretty that I would probably just keep this hung around the house for decoration.
I couldn’t see myself bringing it and carrying it with me every day.
There was pepper spray, a pocketknife, and a taser inside.
Just any small knickknacks that we were going to need to protect ourselves.
I pulled out a comb, thinking that it was just a regular comb for my hair, but there was a blade attached to it.
Damn near three minutes passed, and I was still pulling shit out of the bag.
It made all the sense in the world now why this bag was so heavy.
Once I went through all the things, I placed them back in the bag, and I didn’t leave out right away, like I usually would.
I stuck around. Grabbed a plate, so that I could fix me something to eat.
I didn’t know the girls here like that because I didn’t really talk to them.
I remember Uzi telling me that I didn’t make myself approachable, so they were probably afraid to talk to me.
I saw that there was an open chair at one of the tables, so that’s where I went. With my food in my hands, I sat it down, and you would be surprised how nice bitches could be, when I just put myself in a situation to look friendly, and not have this mug on my face all the time.
The entire table spoke to me. I spoke back, and as they were talking, I even jumped in one or two times.
I sat out here with them for about an hour, until my phone buzzed, and I saw that Demi was texting me, telling me that she was outside. She was the one coming to get me today. She wanted me to hang with her, and Daylani. I told her what my plans were for the day, so she agreed to come pick me up.
I texted her back, letting her know that I was coming.
After that, I tossed my plate, and my cup in the trash, grabbed my purse, my duffle bag with all my gifts, and my award.
I would have to head back into the warehouse, so that I could get out from the front door.
Uzi, and some of her staff members were standing around, talking, and laughing amongst each other.
She saw that I was coming over, so she stopped in her conversation with them, and she made her way over to me.
“You heading out?” she asked me.
“Yeah. My best friend is out there. Thank you again for everything, Uzi. I appreciate you again for the award, and for being patient with me. I know that I wasn’t the easiest person to get through when I started, so thank you for not counting me out.
I’m going to miss this class. I felt like I was a part of something when I came down here.
I used to look forward to coming out here in the mornings,” I shared with her, and my words made her smile.
“You don’t have to make this the end for you, Riot.
I got so many girls that’s coming for the next class that’s getting ready to start up in a couple of months.
On those mornings when you don’t have anything to do, you can come out and help train.
You love being in the range, so you can get on staff, and help in there.
They going to respect you in here. With the award you won, the shit they probably already know about you in the streets, and how good that trigger finger is, they’ll have no choice but to respect you,” she told me. I fucked with that idea.
On those mornings when I wasn’t busy, I didn’t mind coming down and helping. The street shit that I had going on with Dolo, that typically wouldn’t start until the afternoon anyways.
“Alright. We can do something. I’ll call you so that we can work it out,” I let her know, and she smiled, telling me that that was cool.
I hugged her, and then I made my way inside the warehouse, so that I could walk out from the front. Demi was already parked. I quickly rushed over to her car. Not because I was ready to see her, but because I was ready to see Daylani.
I opened the back door, thinking that Daylani would be in the back, in her car seat, but she was up front.
Demi was holding her, jumping her up and down in her lap, and her little butt was just laughing, and gurgling up a storm.
When she saw me, her bottom lip immediately started quivering, and she went into a bull blown crying match.
I knew that was her way of telling me that she missed me.
It’s been a couple of weeks since she last saw me, and every time that I was gone for too long, this would be her reaction towards me.
“Oh, girl cut it out!” Demi fussed at her daughter, hating that she was happy to see me.
I laughed, tossing my duffle bag in the back, sitting it on the floor. I placed the plaque down on the middle console, so that I was able to reach over, and grab Daylani.
“Awwww. I know. I know. I missed you too,” I cooed to her, getting in the car, and taking her away from Demi.
I closed the door behind me, and I placed Daylani in my lap, so that I could land kisses all over her face. She was still emotional, shedding tears, but you could tell that it was happy tears.
“You going to come home with me tonight. We going to have a movie night, eat all kinds of sweets, and your mama can’t say no because she don’t make the rules at my house, okay?
” I asked her, and she bounced her chunky body up, and down in my arms, as if she could fully understand what I was saying to her, and like she was down with everything.
“Aww. You were awarded this?” Demi asked me, picking my plaque up, and examining it in her hands.
“Girl yes. I cried like a little bitch too when she called me up for it. It was the story that she told before she awarded me with it. It really was beautiful,” I voiced, turning my head, so that I could admire my beautiful best friend.
Like a proud mom, she sat there, holding the plaque in her hand, reading off what it said, and she was smiling big.
That same happiness that Uzi had for me back at the ceremony, was the same happiness that Demi had.
She knew the monster that I was when I came home.
I remember her telling me that I came home ten times meaner than I had already been before jail.
She had fears that I might have lost myself, and I think that’s why it made her so proud to be holding this plaque.
“I’m proud of you, Bean. I think we all are.
I would love for you to be out here living a much better life, but I know that I can’t control that part of you, so I just accept it.
As long as you’re doing what you have to do to stay safe, that’s all that I care about.
You have too many people out here that love you.
We don’t need anything happening to you,” her voice cracked when she said that last part, and I started groaning, not wanting her ass to start crying.
Demi has always been the emotional one out of us, and it’s always been something that drove me crazy. A butterfly could land on her nose, and she’ll cry from how beautiful it was. The girl couldn’t help herself.
“I do what I have to do to stay alive. I’m not trying to have my mama bury another child,” I went on to tell her, and with the tears that fell from her eyes, she went ahead and wiped her face.
“You going to keep her tonight for real, or you were just talking?” she asked me.
“I’m keeping her. When I ever lie to her and tell her that I’m going to keep her, and I don’t?” I asked.
“Okay good. Let’s stop to the mall first. I got asked on a date, but I turned it down because I didn’t think that I was going to have anyone to watch her for me,” she said.
“Who you going out on a date with?” I asked, picking Daylani up, so that I could stand her up on my thighs.
“You don’t know him. His name is Keith. We met a couple of weeks ago at the gym.
We’ve been talking, getting to know each other and stuff.
He’s the total opposite of Gutta. In a whole different kind of lane.
He’s in tech,” she said, and I would probably be happy with her getting with anyone outside of her baby daddy.
I hated Gutta for her. I loved Daylani like I carried her, but I hated that Demi had a baby with his ass.
I hated Gutta so bad that I couldn’t even get into his music.
Every song that I’ve heard from him was degrading towards women too.
Mind you, I love rap music. I listen to rap more than I did R&B.
I liked the kind of rap music that talked about real life shit though.
The rappers that speak on where they came from, how they had to get it out the mud, and shit like that.
When you turned on Gutta’s music, every lyric was calling women bitches and hoes, how hoes didn’t mean shit to him, and other madness like that.
I used to pray for the day that my best friend would get over him, and start dating other niggas, and it looked like that day had finally come.
“I’ll take that over Gutta. Does Keith know that you have a daughter?” I asked her.
“He does. I told him,” she said.
“He knows who your baby daddy is?” I inquired.
“I told him, but he doesn’t know him. He said that he never heard of him, or his music,” she went on.
“Okay. Well, don’t bring that nigga around Daylani.
It’s too soon. Continue to feel him out.
Any time you want to go out with him, reach out to me to watch her, and if I can’t do it, go to my mama.
Whatever you do, don’t have him around her,” I said, dead serious with her.
Demi was used to me going on my rants, so she just waved me off.
She turned in her seat, so that she could look at me, and Daylani. She reached her hand over, tickling her daughters feet.
“Mommy, Bean is going to have a baby, and then you’ll finally have you someone to play with,” she said to her daughter calling her the nickname that she used for her.
Daylani sat there smiling, eating it up, not knowing what her lying ass mama was talking about.
“Don’t tell that bullshit to her,” I said, lifting Daylani up, and I turned her around, making her give her back to her mama. Demi laughed like this shit was the funniest thing in the world.
I played around with Daylani for a little while longer, and then I got out, so that I could put her in her car seat.
She cut up so bad when I did that. With her little finger, she pointed at the seat next to her, and I knew that was her way of telling me to sit my ass back here with her.
I did just that too. I had to hop in the back with her, and that was the only way she calmed down.
When that little smile came on her face, seeing that she’d got her way, she had me feeling like Dolo. My man has been having baby fever lately. He gets up under my skin badly talking about a baby Ransom. Here I was, getting just a small glimpse of what his ass was feeling.
I just couldn’t. Not now. This world was too grimy for me to want to bring a kid into it.
Dolo and I were at our peak with this street shit.
I know that he didn’t have any plans of slowing down, and neither did I.
I wasn’t sure if a baby Ransom would ever come.
If he did, I would have to eat my words because I went years’ talking shit, swearing that I would never in my life have a child.