Chapter 30 #2
“These are so cool; I’ll use them at every gig.” He looks to me, and our eyes lock, so I lean toward him. “You’re welcome,” then he reaches up to find my lips. He still has the plectrums in his hand while we kiss and it’s a good while before he puts them away, sliding the box his pocket.
I have to ask, “How long do we have?”
“We’ve got tonight. If I leave by early morning, I’ll be back in time for my meeting with Bernie. He wants to go through—” he stops when his phone comes to life. “Shit, it’s Tommy. I better take this.”
I’m so happy, I almost dance towards the fridge. “Do what you have to. I’ll get us a drink.”
I don’t mean to pry, but it’s difficult for me not to listen to Ash’s conversation as there’s only the two of us here. It starts off well.
“Hey Tom, what’s happening?” His tone is upbeat, and there’s a smile on his face until Tommy must say something he doesn’t like.
“What are you talking about?” I carry on getting two bottles of beer from the fridge as if I’m not intrigued.
As I pop the caps, Ash’s worried eyes meet mine.
“Hold on a sec, Tom.” He takes the phone from his ear.
“I have to take this outside, won’t be a minute. ” He leaves before I can say a word.
I watch Ash from my window. He’s pacing across the square and doesn’t look happy. Then, around fifteen minutes later, he returns, looking like he wants to smack someone in the face.
“What is it? What did Tommy want?”
“Cal, I don’t know how to tell you.” He sighs, rubbing his forehead.
My stomach turns and my breathing increases. Ash fidgets and won’t meet my eyes which can only mean bad news for me, or us.
“There is another reason I had to see you tonight. I have something big to tell you; something pretty spectacular is happening Cal, but it means I’ll be away for a while longer.”
“Why? What is it?” I ask, my heart beating uncontrollably.
“You know Wild Mason are touring in January.”
“Do I ever. I tried to get us a couple of tickets, but they’re megabucks, so I passed,” I half smile, hoping he’s not disappointed and it lightens the mood.
“You did?” His lips twitch upwards. “Well, their support act fell through and they…well, they asked us to fill the slot.”
My eyes must be as wide as saucers. “Holy hell, you’re kidding me, right?
” I don’t give him time to answer. “That’s incredible, Ash.
” I squeeze him closer, excitement taking hold of my stomach.
Wild Mason is one of the hottest bands around right now and their shows are legendary.
I’m jumping around like a loon; filled with pure joy for him and the guys.
“This is massive, Ash. Massive!” I squeal, but Ash seems worried.
“I’m pleased you’re pleased,” he half-heartedly laughs.
I freeze on the spot. “And you’re not? Why aren’t you ecstatic? This is fantastic news, Ash, so why aren’t you celebrating?”
“It is, Cal. It’s just… fuck.” His head falls to his hands.
“Ash, what’s going on? You’re worrying me.” My stomach is in knots.
He blows out a long breath before he says, “This is a nightmare.” Then he looks to the heavens.
“What is? Please, Ash, talk to me.”
“Okay.” He holds out his hands which I take in mine. “There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just come out with it. The tour—it means three months away…in the States.”
His news steals my breath too quickly, the excitement turning to an ache. Did he say he would be away for three months?
“Cal?”
I stop my worrying thoughts; somehow finding the strength to be brave. This is a big moment for Ash. I can’t rain on his parade by getting upset. “You know what? We can’t worry about it right now. We should be celebrating, bouncing off the walls and singing from the rooftops.”
“But I haven’t told you everything.” The blue in his eyes fades slightly. They look so sad, so I hold his hands tighter. “What is it?”
“It’s just… I don’t know.”
“No, you started this, so what’s on your mind. Are you having doubts about us?”
“No way. It’s the one thing I’m sure about.”
“Then what is it?”
He puffs out a giant cheek-full of air. “It’s you, being here, out every night probably and—” He drops our linked hands and places his in the pocket of his jeans. His eyes drift down to his feet.
“And what?”
“I know about a few of the boys on your course asking you out, Cal. Scott’s updates are pretty interesting.”
I remind myself to speak to Scott. He’s meant to be my sounding board but isn’t doing a good job of keeping his mouth shut. I didn’t intentionally hide this from Ash, and if he asked, I’d tell, but why go out of my way to upset him?
“Are you kidding me? I don’t know what Scott’s been saying exactly, but there’s no one else and there never will be.
To be honest, Ash, it’s not you who has to worry.
Don’t tell me there’s been a lack of female attention while you’ve been away.
I’ve watched the interviews, heard you on the radio, seen the news reports with hordes of girls waiting for you to leave your hotel.
It’s going crazy out there for the band and you in particular.
I’m the one who has to worry especially when it’s all over the entertainment news.
If you want the real truth, it's driven me mad watching those girls fawn over you. It’s tough Ash, but I’m still here. I’m always—”
He raises his voice, “Stop.” His harsh tone shocks me, but then he whispers, “Just stop.”
I don’t know what to say to him or what to do. His hands rub up and down the side of his face. “Shit,” he murmurs under his breath.
“There’s something else, isn’t there. What’s really going on?” I can’t catch his eyes with mine. He keeps looking away.
“Cal, I—fuck.”
“Ash?”
He bites firmly on his bottom lip, so I repeat. “Ash, talk to me, please.”
His chest heaves up and down, he seems nervous.
Has he changed his mind about us already?
Is this over? Doesn’t he trust me, now that he’ll be away for longer than he thought?
Did he make a mistake thinking he could cope with the distance, but he can’t?
What the hell is Ash going to say? What the hell…