Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
ASH
It’s been exactly twenty-eight days since I saw Cal and broke her heart. Despite calling every spare minute I can get, she never answers.
Thank fuck most days are full-on; it keeps my mind occupied.
My body feels knackered after tonight’s gig, but it was worth it.
The crowd was incredible, and for the first time, we got an encore.
We knew we had to leave the stage within a specific time frame, but the team pushed us out again; telling us to enjoy the moment.
We played our hearts out during that last song, while the crowd went wild.
Our tour started with Wild Mason two weeks ago, and it’s non-stop.
The only proper time we get to relax are the hours spent on the bus, but that’s how I like it.
I feel privileged to be part of this tour and play to sell-out crowds.
I have to pinch myself most days because this is my life.
The days are long, but playing this gig is forty-five minutes of pure pleasure.
Just one person is missing when we come off stage, and I’m reminded every night when I play using the plectrums, she gave me.
Earlier today we had to rehearse a new song I wrote recently called Drown in Blue.
Having just recorded and released the album, Bernie decided this particular song was too good to wait for another.
We’re releasing it as a one-off as soon as possible.
Personally, I feel it’s our best to date, and Brett says heartbreak works well for me.
My vocals were insane according to him. Believe me, I don’t intend to make my single status permanent to enhance the band's career. It doesn’t feel good to shatter your heart with every lyric written for the girl you love.
Before that, we had to record a segment for the Larry Simpson Show. He’s a massive deal over here, but I hadn’t heard of him until now. We don’t get a lot of free time to watch TV.
We’ve caused a storm, publicity wise. It’s all good, but it means any nights off from the tour we spend playing gigs for tv or radio.
Guest appearances have flooded in, so much so, Bernie had to take on another PR assistant just to cope with demand.
Dani isn’t best pleased, but it makes my life easier.
It means I see less of her. Life could not be better as far as the band goes, it’s just my personal life that’s shit.
It always will be until I get Cal back in my life.
I write at night when I can’t sleep. Max can’t seem to keep up with the amount of material I’m producing, so I’ve been writing most of the music on my own.
He’s okay with that, mainly because he’s enjoying the benefits of the band on tour.
There’s a different woman in his bed every night, sometimes two.
Tommy and Brett aren’t exactly saints, but Max is out of control.
It’s nearly 2am by the time I’ve helped pack our equipment and load the last few flight cases onto pallets.
We move out tomorrow, so the venue has to be cleared tonight.
We usually leave it to our roadies, but I have to stay busy, and this is one way of doing it.
It’s also a chance to touch base with the guys on the ground.
I want to make sure they’re doing okay. A few of them are a long way from home.
While we sit back and crack a few beers, my phone buzzes in the back pocket of my jeans. Grabbing it straight away, I hope it’s Cal. I always hope it’s Cal; I can’t give up on us yet.
It’s actually Scott, which is weird. I only spoke to him earlier after he called to let me know the results of the DNA test, he took with Cal.
I excuse myself from the guys and accept it straight away; I am a little worried why my friend would contact me again so soon.
Maybe he talked Cal round, or perhaps he just wants to talk.
He has his own problems of the heart to deal with.
“Hey, Scott.”
“Ash, where are you?”
I look up above and realise I’m missing out on an incredible view. “I’m right in the middle of a stadium, looking up through the open roof, watching the stars.”
“Are you on your own?” Then I worry because his tone is pretty serious.
“I’m with a few of the roadies, what’s up?”
“Listen, I’ve just had a call from Cal’s university.”
My stomach drops. “What? What is it?”
“You need to stay calm.”
“Why? Is she alright? Fuck, if anything has happened—”
“About the staying calm part; you need to do that.”
“For fuck’s sake, Scott. Put me out of my misery.”
“She’s fine, but she passed out last night.”
“Jesus, what happened?”
“I’m not exactly sure of the details. It’s 7am here, and I’ve only just had the call. All I know is the campus doctor checked her over and they’re taking blood tests today. I’m on my way to see her now.”
“Is she in the hospital?”
“No, resting in her dorm.”
“On her own? Shouldn’t she have someone with her?”
He pauses for a second. “She has.”
“Oh, okay. So, Angie got there before you?”
“No, not Angie.” Why does his voice sound cagey?
“Then, who?”
I note his second pause before he says, “A guy called Eddie. She was with him when it happened. He was the one who called out the doc.”
“Eddie?” My mouth dries at the sound of another man’s name. My jaw clenches at the thought of him being alone with her. “Who the fuck is Eddie?”
“Just a guy she knows. Don’t panic fella, nothing is going on there. He said they were out for a quiet drink and she passed out.”
My fist clenches by my side as my breathing increases. Why haven’t I heard about this ‘friend’ before? Who the fuck is this guy? “And he’s still there now? Did he spend the night?”
“I really know nothing about him, but I’m positive it’s all innocent. Don’t sweat it, Ash. You should focus on Calla, not the guy she’s with.”
“Can’t help it, man. I should be there.”
I hear him sigh. “You’ve got to stay focused on your work. Don’t beat yourself up.”
My chest burns when I think of how we got to this point. “When you get there, will you tell her—, fuck, I don’t know.”
“I’ll say you’re thinking of her.”
“That sounds shit.”
“But true. Just sit tight, okay? I’ll call you later when I know more.”
“Don’t leave it too long. I won’t sleep until I hear from you. Just call as soon as you can.”
All I can focus on is Cal spending time with another guy and how my hands are tied. There is nothing I do from over here. I can’t handle it; it sucks.
Once the call is over, I pick up my beer and head back to the roadies.
If it’s possible to keep my mind occupied, spending time with them is the best way.
We carry on chewing the fat for a while longer, and I listen to their piss-taking and general banter—anything to keep my mind from over-thinking.
I’ve grown attached to these guys and one of the older guys in particular.
The other roadies call him Vance Romance on account of the women who flock at his feet and the hearts he’s broken over the years.
It’s funny as Vance isn’t even his real name, but nothing else rhymed with romance, so he played the game.
Vance is a little older than me, and he’s toured with the best. The guy has so many stories in his back pocket; some he shared, others swore him to secrecy, but he’s fast becoming a good friend with all the chats we have.
One night while we were talking, Vance told me why he could never settle down.
He said he fell in love once, but his girl found someone else while he was away on tour and he had his heart broken.
His story made me realise what a great life Vance has—but it isn’t the one I want.
He didn’t get to fight for his girl, but I’m more determined than ever to fight for mine.
Next week we have a few days off between dates, so I’ll be going home to do exactly that.
Tommy, Brett, and Max are waiting for me to finish up. The lazy bastards have sat around the green room for the last couple of hours, getting smashed and entertaining a bevy of groupies.
The boys give me a standing ovation when I enter. “Don’t take the piss,” I shout over, taking a seat at the bar and getting myself a well-earned drink. I need a JD, something to dull the worry. I take my phone from my pocket, placing it on the bar in case there’s any further word from Scott.
“Get yourself over here, Ash. You’re missing out on the entertainment.
” I look over my shoulder, spotting Tom with two girls—one on each knee.
He’s beaming from ear to ear, but I can’t look.
I don’t know what’s got into him lately.
He’s always been a player, but this is a whole new level for him.
Has the success we’ve had to date gone to his head already?
If so, it doesn’t bode well for the future. I’m worried about him.
“Good, you’re all here,” Bernie announces as he enters the room with Dani. “Put those women down and get yourselves over here.”
Brett slaps his girls’ arse as she gets up from his lap. She squeals playfully and blows him a kiss. On the other side of the coin, there’s Max. He just tips his woman to the floor.
“Hey, man. What’s up with you?” Tommy says helping her up. At least there’s still some of the old Tommy there.
The girls shuffle out of the room while the rest of us follow Bernie’s orders. What the fuck is going on now?
“There’s been a change of Schedule,” he announces. “Dani?” He looks to his daughter to give the details. Her smile is uneasy when she says, “Due to popular demand, we’ve had to cancel your leave next week. Wild Mason has added extra dates to the Boston leg of the tour.”
“This has to be a joke.” I don’t mean to sound so angry, but I’m fucking furious. “You can’t do this, we haven’t had a day off in weeks, and I’ve booked flights, made plans.”
Bernie looks at me, the lines around his mouth becoming more intense.
“I don’t hear anyone else complaining.” He glances over at the boys.
Brett looks to the floor, his hands in his pockets, Max is biting his lip, and Tommy rubs his forehead.
Not one of them can look me in the eye. “Bernie, can I speak to you privately, please?” I ask, but Dani butts in.
“Whatever you have to say, you should share with the band. This includes all of you.”
What a fucking hypocrite. Considering how she tried to sign me as a solo artist initially, she’s soon changed her mind now the band is making her money.
“Fine,” I growl towards her. This isn’t the time to give the full story, knowing the boys are shit-faced and will probably take the piss, but here goes. “I was counting on going home to sort out a few issues. I need this time, Bernie.”
“Everything alright, son? I can help if your mother needs anything.”
I take a moment while I give Tommy the side-eye. We’ve both noticed how Bernie jumps through hoops when it comes to my mum. “No, she’s fine.”
“Then it must be something to do with Calla?” Bernie questions.
I don’t respond, but Brett pipes up, “Aww, are you begging your girl—”
“Leave it,” Bernie warns, raising his brow before turning his attention back to me with a sympathetic smile.
“Sorry, Ash, there’s nothing I can do. If we miss the additional shows, it will cost us big time, and as part of the existing tour, we’re obliged to honour any changes to the schedule.
We can’t afford to pull out. I’m sorry.”
Fuck, someone upstairs must hate me right now. I run my fingers through my hair as Tommy puts his hand on my shoulder. “You okay, man?”
“Not really. I was banking on using my time off to put things right with Cal. To make things worse, I got a phone call to say Cal—” my phone buzzes mid-sentence, “isn’t well,” I finish while glancing at my phone. Scott’s name causes my insides to jump. “Sorry, Tom, I have to take this.”
“Sure, let me know if there’s anything you need.”
I’m already picking up the call before I leave Tommy’s side. “Scott, what’s going on? Are you with her yet?”
“I’m with her,” but his hushed tone immediately sets off alarm bells.
“Jesus man, I’m going out of my mind. Is she okay?”
I can hear the tension in his voice, the rapid breaths he takes in and out before he finally says, “You need to come home, Ash, as soon as possible.”