Chapter 43
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It pains me to leave Anna just as much the second time. I’m itching to call her to check in and make sure there hasn’t been any more reporters following her or another appearance from Stewart, but I hold off. We already spoke this morning, and the last thing I want to do is suffocate her.
I can figure my shit out here with the tour and recording schedule and my upcoming living situation. I have to. If I don’t, I risk losing her, and that isn’t something I’m prepared to do.
There’s a knock on my front door before I shout, “Come in!”
My Nashville home is far larger than the one in Cherry Peak.
It’s newly built, with five bedrooms, four bathrooms, a home gym, and a pool out back.
It’s hardly lived in. Even now, walking down the hallway with expensive tile flooring and the same sad beige paint on the walls as the rest of the house, I feel no pull to the place.
No sentimental feeling that ties me to it.
I wasn’t on tour with Killian for very long, so that isn’t an excuse for not . . . caring about this house. For not adding any pieces of myself to it or trying to make it feel more like a home instead of a rental property.
Maybe Anna could help with that. She’d turn this house into a home the moment she stepped inside. No more empty walls and bare counters. I want photos hung and clutter everywhere. Ugly wallpaper and colourful paint. I’ve never wanted those things before, but now they feel necessary.
“The lack of Christmas decorations in this house is a total eyesore, Brody,” Killian says from the foyer.
The three-time CMA winner and, somehow, close friend of mine kicks off his black boots and shakes out of his leather jacket before slapping me between the shoulders.
His grin is electric, happy in a way I’ve always envied, but today, I envy it a little less.
I’m not the same guy I was the last time I saw him. Not in the slightest.
“Haven’t been here to set anythin’ up,” I tell him, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze before leading us to the kitchen.
Killian’s been to the house enough times over the years to know his way around.
We met through Swift Edge shortly after I signed, and the guy took me under his wing.
Helped me transition from Cherry Peak to Nashville, and when the time came after the release of my first album for me to dip my toe into bigger and grander live shows, he requested me as his opener.
It was going great. Everything was, until it wasn’t.
I never expected Anna. And I know Killian wasn’t expecting me to find someone to tether me back home either.
We step into the kitchen, and he takes a seat at the long marble island while I grab us both a beer from the fridge. After twisting the caps, I hand him his, and he takes it eagerly.
“How was your Christmas back home?” he asks.
“You tellin’ me you haven’t been keepin’ up with me online?”
He takes a gulp of beer and sets the bottle down with a laugh. “You mean the rag mags were tellin’ the truth the entire time?”
“That depends on what they were sayin’.”
“Only that ya snagged yourself a beauty. Apparently, you’ve moved back home and settled down. Considerin’ that you’re here and not back in Cherry Peak yet, I take it they weren’t all right.”
I shrug. “Half-right. Do have a woman I love and want to settle down with. I’m here tryin’ to make that happen. But I haven’t moved back there. Not full-time.”
“About goddamn time you found a woman. I worried you’d be turnin’ thirty alone with nobody to tuck your old ass into bed.”
“You’re older than me, asshole.”
He winks, tipping back the dewy bottle for another drink. Smacking his lips, he says, “Older in age, not spirit.”
My exhale is heavy. “I wish it was as easy as just movin’ back, but it’s not. You know that just as well as I do.”
“Suppose I do. But I don’t buy that you haven’t been figurin’ out a way to make it work, though.”
“I am. Fuck, I’m tryin’. I don’t suppose you have any advice for me? I feel like I’m completely out of my damn league with this. How do you do it?”
Killian swirls the bottle between his palms and leans over the counter, staring at me hard. “Are you askin’ how I got my woman to stay for keeps or how I’ve made it work with a family in this business?”
“Both. Whatever you’re willin’ to share.”
He nods, eyes burning bright as he speaks.
“There’s no simple answer. No magic formula.
You just do it. You fight for it. Lila was mine from the moment I saw her, and I knew I’d never be happy again without her with me.
Things got hard like they always do with stress and questions, and for guys like you and me, it ain’t easy to put those we love in the spotlight.
But there comes a point when you have to ask yourself if you’re alright with fear stealin’ your happiness from you.
Still scared shitless of somethin’ happening to my family—that doesn’t ever go away.
But seein’ my woman at home with my babies? That’s worth everythin’.”
“You make it sound so simple,” I mutter, an ache growing behind my ribs.
Killian taps the bottom of his bottle to the counter and laughs straight from his gut.
“Not a damn thing simple about it. Lila didn’t ask for the expectations that came with being my wife.
She never planned to have her privacy invaded and be exposed to nasty comments on her social media every day.
I just stepped back and let her choose what she was willin’ to sacrifice in order to be with me and made sure I made up for it elsewhere.
That’s what love is, Brody. I’m riskin’ soundin’ like a pussy here, but love’s all about sacrifices.
She gives, and I give right back. A balance, y’know?
“You got to trust that your woman knows what she wants and what she’s willin’ to do for it.
If she’s tellin’ you she’s in, then fuckin’ hell, man, take her at her word and bring her in.
Believe her when she says she’s good and thinks you’re worth it.
You don’t turn away a woman like that. Especially when you love the shit outta her the way you do. ”
I drop my elbows to the counter and let his words filter through my mind. “I’m lucky to have you in my life, Kill. You’re a hell of a lot wiser than I’ve ever given you credit for.”
“Ah, don’t go soft on me just yet. Wait until you’ve actually got your woman for keeps.”
My beer is completely unappealing to me now. Anticipation zips through my veins. I want to hop on a plane right now and head back to Anna with this newfound conviction pumping through me, but I know it’s not time. Not yet.
“I want to make this as easy on her as possible. I’ve got so much shit comin’ at me right now that I don’t have a clue how to navigate yet,” I say on a heavy exhale.
“You talkin’ about the album?”
“That and the tour. Garrison wants me out in a couple months. The album done in half that time.”
His expression is thoughtful, concentrated. “How about you tell me a bit about Anna before I dip back into my well of knowledge? I want to hear all about the woman who’s got you this worked up.”
I don’t hesitate to do just that. From how we first met to our time at the wedding and how fast and hard I fell for her.
I tell him that she loves the ranch and that it loves her right back.
He nods along with every word, howling a laugh when I tell him that I searched high and low for a Highland cow for her because she mentioned wanting one a single time and that I went as far as to build it its own shed in the pasture.
I tell him all of her favourite things and about her fear of driving on icy roads. His lips tug into a smirk when I mention her dream of owning her own hair salon, and I grow far too curious about that reaction to let it go.
“What?”
He pushes his bottle to the side and scratches the underside of his jaw. “Lee Rose’s daughter lives in Cherry Peak, yeah? I heard about her a few months back at one of Lila’s little summer shindigs, and my wife hasn’t let it go since. Damn, what’s her name again? Starts with a W .”
“Wanda? Yeah, she’s in Cherry Peak. Owns the salon my woman works at.”
The topic change is confusing, but I let it run its course.
Wanda grew up in Cherry Peak with her mother, not with her father.
I’ve never been close enough to her to ask about her father other than what the town knows, and even if I was, I don’t think I would have put my nose in it regardless.
There’s a reason Lee Rose isn’t a Cherry Peak native, and I don’t think it has as much to do with his career as it does his daughter.
All I know is that Wanda’s been in and out of our hometown since shortly after high school graduation.
I’ve lost count of the number of businesses she’s started up just to abandon a few months or sometimes years later.
The hair salon is only a temporary interest for her.
That knowledge shakes something up inside of me.
“Shit, yeah, that’s right,” Killian says.
“Why the sudden interest in Wanda?”
“Well, from what I’ve heard, she’s been takin’ an interest in dear old dad after all these years. It was pretty common knowledge that Lee was a shit dad who ran off pretendin’ he didn’t know of a place called Cherry Peak, so Wanda’s drawn a bit of attention with her sudden questions,” he explains.
I furrow my brows, still confused. “Alright, so he was a shitty dad. That doesn’t answer my question.”
“That’s because you’re not lettin’ me finish. My wife’s a bit of a gossip, which in turn makes me a gossip. From what I’ve learned from her, Wanda’s plannin’ on takin’ off again to confront the old man. I’m not sure for what, but that salon of hers is as good as gone if she disappears.”
“She’s not goin’ to find a new owner? Just leave all her employees high and dry?” I snap, worry and anger swirling in my belly.
Killian leans back in his seat, arms crossing over his chest and a smirk splitting his cheeks. “Not if there’s already someone who has a dream of ownin’ a hair salon, I’d reckon. Maybe a woman whose name rhymes with banana.”
I double blink. “You think Anna should buy it from her?”
“I think you should buy it for her. Help her with her dream while she helps you with yours. She gives, you give. Knowin’ Lila’s at home with our babies while also doin’ what she loves with her clothin’ line makes it easier for me to leave to do what I love.
It can be easy to let our careers suck the life out of those in our lives, Brody.
I know my woman is strong enough to fight for herself—God knows she’s kept my head on straight all these years—but when I got the opportunity to help her with her dream, I didn’t hesitate.
Anna might tell you to go to hell and that you overstepped, but it’s worth a try. ”
I won’t deny that the thought of being able to help her with this would make me feel more accomplished than pretty much anything I’ve ever done in my life. Knowing she’s home and happy and busy doing what she loves while I’m gone doing what I have to would bring me a sense of peace.
Anna wants to be in Cherry Peak. She’s found a home there and friends that she deserves more than anything. Owning a salon of her own . . . that would be the cherry on top. The final piece to the puzzle of her new life.
“Does it ever get easier? Even if I do help with the salon, the thought of leavin’ her still grates. Tours aren’t a few easy days on the road. You know that better than I do,” I ramble.
“You’ll always miss her. Always wish she was right beside you on the bus or waitin’ for you backstage.
All you can do is focus on gettin’ back to her once you’re done.
Well, that and bringin’ her with you whenever you can.
Don’t torture yourself with holdin’ back from askin’ her to join you.
I guarantee she’ll miss you just as much as you’ll miss her.
Don’t make it harder than it has to be. And before you ask, I know you’re worried about recordin’ the damn album, but that’s nothin’.
It’s quick time apart compared to the entire future you two have. Don’t make it a big deal.”
He’s right. Too right. I feel like a fool for worrying so much about things with easy solutions.
I blame that lowlife reporter for these fucking doubts and fears.
I’ve been an idiot. Anna’s in love with me the way I’m in love with her.
The move mountains for her just to catch a glimpse of her pretty smile type of love.
The burn anyone who so much as thinks to take her happiness from her type of love. No amount of distance could sever that.
My next words come out quickly, hard with determination.
“I guess it’s time we get to work, then.”