Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
New Year’s Eve morning began joylessly – the outlook for next year felt as bleak as my mood, with the precarious financial situation and my freshly broken heart. I sat in my pyjamas on the sofa, Neo beside me, barely paying attention to the plot of the elf-and-orc saga he’d decided to put on. The clash of steel against bronze brought me back into the room every now and then.
Penn had so far followed my instructions; I hadn’t heard from him at all since my flight from Ashcliffe Hall. Even though I stood by what I’d said in the letter, I still secretly wanted him to appear at my door, to drop into my messages. But if he said what I thought he was about to say in the walled garden, I’d break. And the idea that I would lose control and reply terrified me – as long as my feelings were under lock and key, I would have the strength to be unselfish.
‘Watch this bit,’ said Neo through a mouthful of dry Cheerios. Crumbled hoops were scattered down his grey T-shirt, framed nicely by the wide arcs of sweat emanating from his underarms. ‘See that elf there? Guess what’s going to happen.’
‘Well, his sword is broken so I guess he’s going to either run away or surrender.’ How apt.
‘Wrong,’ said Neo smugly.
On the screen, the ethereal long-haired character vaulted up from the ground, twirled the mangled weapon like a baton and launched it at a hulking monster before making a lithe escape. I sighed, closed my eyes and rested my head back against the sofa.
There was a brisk knock at the door. Neo made no effort to move, instead remaining enraptured by a volley of arrows heading towards the orcs, so I got up and shuffled over. My heart leaped as I realised it could be Penn, and it was with a mixture of dread and hope that I smoothed down my hair and wiped the mascara stains from under my eyes.
I opened the door to find Sophia standing there. She looked me up and down, grimaced and invited herself in.
Neo saw her, seemed uncharacteristically ashamed of his slovenly appearance and shambled off to his bedroom, brushing cereal crumbs off his T-shirt.
‘What are you doing here?’ I asked her, wrapping my arms around my chest.
‘How charming,’ she said. ‘Aren’t you going to offer me a cup of coffee or a sit down?’
‘Penn sent you,’ I said, making no move towards the kitchen.
‘No. I came of my own accord. After he discovered your note, I found him in the long gallery, head in his hands.’
I felt a bolt of guilt but tried not to move my face.
‘I didn’t read it,’ she said, ‘but he gave me the summary. I hope you don’t mind that he was indiscreet. He was devastated.’
Shrugging uncomfortably, I said, ‘I suppose not. It’s up to him who he talks to.’ As I said it, I felt a ripple of jealousy. I pictured them sat together, Sophia commiserating him, maybe giving him a hug.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked in a gentler voice than I’d ever heard from her.
A treacherous prickle of tears stung my eyes, and I swiped at them. ‘I… I just want him to be happy.’
‘But he’s happy with you.’ There was a tiny trace of something in the way she said it – not quite begrudgery but an effort to cover some emotion.
‘I know. I do know that. But if he turns down the music centre, he’ll regret it. And then one day he’ll resent me for it. I couldn’t do that to him – or to myself.’
‘I don’t fully understand. It’s not as if he’ll be a million miles away. Why can’t you make it work with a little distance to travel?’
‘It’s not just geography,’ I said. ‘It’s… everything. His family – they’re nice to me, but I’ll never fit in. I don’t know anything about fine art, or yachts, or… how to address a marchioness. And if he takes the job, he’ll be back in the fold, where he really belongs.’
‘Annie, you’re talking a load of tosh. You fit in beautifully at the hall. Yes, you might have made a fashion faux pas, and yes, you may have exposed yourself to Lord and Lady Ashcliffe…’
I looked at her pointedly.
‘Okay, that was my fault. But my point is, you’re a decent, principled sort. Even if that means you’re against the noble sport of game shooting, the Burton-Edwardses admire a strong-willed person. And the fact that you make Perry so happy is the main thing.’
I shook my head, deciding not to dive deeper, to stick to the class-polarity narrative. ‘It would never work. We’re too different. And anyway, I’m surprised you’re here, making his case. I’d have thought you’d be glad I’m out of the picture.’
She said nothing for a moment, her expression conflicted. Then she looked me directly in the eye.
‘I’ll admit, that’s what I wanted. Before. When Bunny wanted me to get back together with him, I was just as keen as she was. I was still in love with him. But after a time, when he’d resisted every advance I made, every orchestrated encounter by his mother, I started to realise it was never going to happen. If I’m honest, I was starting to cool towards him. Then, when you arrived, I felt like I had to make a last-ditch attempt. But really, my heart wasn’t in it.’
I nodded, trying to absorb what she was saying. She had never been real competition at all.
‘Then I saw you two,’ she said hesitantly. ‘Through the window of the cottage. He never looked at me like that. He’s never looked at anyone like that, I don’t think.’
‘Like what?’ I asked.
‘Like he’d found everything he was looking for.’
I squeezed my eyes shut, gritting my teeth. I didn’t need this; I needed there to be no confusion.
‘Annie, I’m sorry about my behaviour. I really am. And it’s not just because I regret everything that happened at Ashcliffe. It’s because I like you.’ She sighed. ‘I can’t make you change your mind. But you’re making a mistake. Perry is a catch for many more reasons than his pedigree. Which some of us learned a little too late.’
She left, and I sat staring at my hands for a very long time.
That night, after checking that the security camera was well disguised by the side of one of Penn’s wall-mounted speakers, I adjusted my borrowed white cocktail dress and headed next door to Visage Unique. I left the internal door to the shop unlocked, knowing that all Christa would have to do was unlock the main door from the street and she’d be in without any difficulty. Penn hadn’t been around when I arrived to set up the camera, and I wondered whether he’d show up at all. Maybe it would be for the best if he didn’t.
The party was already in full swing, and I could see the other people from the arcade clustered in small groups. Sven and Arthur were choosing canapés from a silver tray that was being circulated by a member of the catering staff. Penn was nowhere to be seen, as I’d suspected. And Christa was in the corner with Jake, tucked out of the way.
I gave Melissa a discreet nod – our plan for her to keep a close eye on Christa’s comings and goings was still agreed, and I had Sophia stationed at the cafe round the corner, ready for the call if I needed her. Bracing myself, I went over to Christa and Jake – I needed Christa not to suspect a thing.
‘Swit swoo!’ I said, gesturing at their outfits. Christa was wearing a black silk jumpsuit and Jake had on jeans and a black polo shirt buttoned up to the chin, giving at least a nod to the black-and-white dress code. ‘You two scrub up nicely. I wasn’t sure if you’d come, what with your and Melissa’s ethical differences.’
‘What can I say? Free champagne is free champagne,’ said Christa with a wide smile that could have been genuine if I didn’t know better. Champagne and an excellent opportunity to ruin me.
‘So, are you both ready for the judging?’ I asked guilelessly.
‘Aye,’ said Jake, flexing his chest. ‘I reckon I’ve got a pretty good chance.’
Christa rolled her eyes. ‘We’ll see. Anyway, I think it’ll be Annie and Penn. The shop looks… well, wow is probably the word. If the award goes to any of us at the arcade, it should be you.’
I was disarmed for a moment by her effusive praise but then remembered that it was all part of the act. Covering herself by deflecting attention.
‘Thanks,’ I said, making every effort not to sound brittle.
Then Jake’s and Christa’s eyes were drawn to the door.
Christa puffed out her cheeks. ‘Phwoar. If your ex-boyfriend wasn’t a cheating arsehole, I’d say you’re a lucky woman. Shame his heart’s as black as his suit.’
I turned to see Penn walking through the door wearing a beautifully cut black suit, a white shirt underneath, open at the collar. His stubbled jaw was taut and his brow knitted, accentuating his handsome features. He looked so incredible, my stomach felt like it was doing backflips then crashing to the floor as I reminded myself we were done. But I had to stick to the plan. As far as Christa was aware, Penn and I never made up after Christmas, but if we wanted this to work, it would be better if she believed we were stronger than ever. It was important that she didn’t think we were capable of sabotaging ourselves without her help.
‘Actually, we’re back together. It turned out it was a misunderstanding. When he made that phone call, he was meeting his brother; I got it all wrong.’
Her eyebrows rose.
‘Anyway, I’d better go and give my boyfriend a New Year’s kiss.’
I went over to Penn and saw the look in his eyes as he noticed me. He gazed at my dress, the shape as it curved across my chest and down my hips. His expression was a mix of longing and hurt.
‘I know this sounds inappropriate right now,’ I said stiffly. ‘And I’m so sorry. But I need you to kiss me – Christa’s watching so we need to keep up the pretence.’
The look of pain on his face deepened, and I almost reached out to him. But then he bent and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips, which lasted a beat longer than it needed to. We broke apart and were lost in each other’s gaze for a moment. It reminded me of the first time we’d shared a fake kiss, but this time it was agonising.
He glanced away, swallowing deeply. ‘Remind me what we’re doing,’ he said.
‘We’re watching for Christa leaving, then we’ll give her a minute before following. We need to catch her on video first as hard evidence, then confront her. Melissa’s going to keep a lookout too.’
He nodded. ‘Fine. So we just hover around until then? Pretend to be together.’
His tone was stoic rather than sarcastic, but I still felt like he’d stabbed me in the heart. ‘Yes. That’s what we need to do.’
‘Well, I’m glad to be of service,’ he said, his jaw tensed.
‘Penn, I’m sorry. Let’s just get through tonight, then we can talk. I’ll explain more about how I feel; why I decided to end things.’
‘Don’t worry, I think your note covered the main points. I’m going to get a drink. I’ll be back in a minute to maintain the fa?ade .’
He turned on his heel and stalked away to the bar. He was intercepted by Melissa, who hugged him tight and stroked his lapel. She seemed to be heaping praise on his appearance – understandably. As he smiled down at her and she threw back her head and laughed, I felt a surge of jealousy. I tamped it down with a big slug of champagne as the crowd thickened and mercifully blocked my view of them.
I mingled for a few minutes, expecting my unwilling partner to come back to me any minute, but before I saw any sign of him, there was a loud crash at the door and several khaki-clad people shoved into the room.
I squinted at the sturdy blonde woman at the front of the pack, wearing a camo jacket and holding a placard that said ‘Save the Chimps’.
‘Linda?’ I asked, the wind blown out of my sails.
‘I might have known you’d be here, hunter shagger,’ she said roughly. ‘Is your murdering boyfriend here too?’
Christa had clearly spread the word that her two enemies had also been lovers. The room had fallen silent except for the strains of smooth acid-jazz from the speakers, and everyone was staring at the protestors, agog.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘Never mind. It’s not you and your boyfriend we really want – it’s that harridan who’s peddling palm oil products out of this shop.’
‘Yeah!’ yelled the group behind her. Then they started to bounce their placards up and down, chanting, ‘Shut it down! Shut it down!’
‘Now hold on one minute,’ said Arthur, squaring up to Linda. ‘I don’t know who you think you are?—’
‘I know who you are!’ she barked. ‘Talk about destroying the forests – your bookshop’s filled with the corpses of trees!’
‘For God’s…’ I rubbed my hand across my face. ‘Linda, go away. Not now!’
Just then, Melissa came out of nowhere, face like thunder. Penn followed behind, surveying the scene in confusion.
‘What the hell do you lot think you’re doing in my shop? Clear off or I’ll call the police.’
They jeered at her and started chanting again.
She raised her voice even louder. ‘I said, I’m going to call the police! Penn…?’
He stood beside her, scowling. ‘You heard her. It’s Linda, isn’t it? Unless you want to end up in a cell again, I’d suggest you get out of here.’
‘I’ve tried telling her,’ I said, throwing my hand towards Linda, who was now striding around menacingly, flicking at the rows of beauty products. I looked around for Christa, thinking that she might be able to warn Linda off. But she was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Jake. I exchanged a look with Melissa.
‘I think she might have slipped the net,’ she said wearily. ‘But, as you can see, my hands are pretty full right now.’
‘Okay.’ I glanced at the door, knowing this was my chance. ‘Will you be alright?’
She pushed up her sequined sleeves. ‘I’ll make them wish they’d never been born.’
Then one of the male protestors, a big hairy guy, started to square up to Melissa, until Penn stood between them. I didn’t know what to do – if I didn’t go now, with or without him, then Christa might slip through our fingers. Before Penn could stop me, I shouldered through the crowd who were now joining in with surrounding the protest group. I called Sophia as I did, putting a finger in my ear to block out the rising noise levels.
‘Come quickly. Christa left the party – she could still be in the shop.’
‘Okay, wait for me. Don’t go inside.’
I rang off and did as she said. After a few minutes, she ran up the street.
‘Come on,’ she said. ‘Let’s bust this bitch.’
I set my shoulders, and we charged into the shop, turning on the lights. It was a mess. Stock had been thrown to the floor, shelves had been pulled from the walls. Broken glass, sprays of guitar strings and cracked vinyl were strewn all over; you could barely see the floor for the debris. But the place was empty. The tiny red light of the security camera blinked from its position by the speaker.
My heart raced as I opened the app on my phone to retrieve the recording. With trembling fingers, I scrolled through the footage until a grainy black-and-white night-vision image of a figure came through the door. She was instantly recognisable. Her coat – the one with the embroidered evil eyes – was clearly visible, though she had her hood up, maybe in case someone saw through the window. We watched as she systematically worked her way through the shop, hurling things to the floor, pulling things down from the walls. It broke my heart to watch it happen in front of my own eyes.
Just as I was about to tell Sophia so, she grabbed my arm and put a finger to her lips.
From beyond the corridor, towards the back of the arcade, came a quiet moan.