Chapter 4 #2
“I don’t mind.” She carried the boxes into the kitchen glad of something to do.
When she came back, she picked up the empty water bottles and used napkins and threw them away as well.
She felt jittery, like she couldn’t sit still, but she didn’t want to leave James quite yet, so she dampened a paper towel and went back to the family room to wipe off the coffee table, on which Julie had put her pizza crust to get it out of her way.
She was folding up the blanket when James grumbled, “Why are you cleaning up? You’re not expected to clean, you know.”
She was startled by his grouchy tone since he’d seemed in an easy, soft mood all evening. “I know. I just do it without thinking. I like things to be neat.”
“I guess so.” He sighed and closed his eyes for a minute.
He suddenly looked so tired that Rose felt a flare of concern. “You should go to bed early tonight. You look like you could use some sleep.”
“I don’t feel like sleeping yet.”
“Oh. Is your jaw hurting?”
He hadn’t been rubbing it today, and she’d been hoping that some of his stress had lessened now that he’d ended things with Genevieve.
He opened one eye and glared at her out of it. “No.”
“Okay. Good.” She stood, holding the blanket and feeling at loose ends in a way she hadn’t felt in a really long time.
She’d always known how to act and speak as the nanny.
That was her role, and she was good at it.
For some reason all of that felt wrong right now, but acting any other way felt wrong too. “I guess I’ll head upstairs then.”
“Don’t go yet.” James opened his eyes. “Sit down and keep me company.”
“Okay.” She was gratified at the idea, but she had no idea what it meant. She sat down beside him on the couch, a little primly, holding the blanket in her lap because she’d never figured out where to put it down.
“You think the girls are all right, don’t you?” he asked.
Rose let out a breath, realizing now why he’d wanted to talk. He was worried about his daughters and wanted to feel her out about them.
Of course that was all it was. It wasn’t like he would want her company just for the sake of it. Things between them had never been like that.
She told herself there was nothing to be disappointed about. In fact, she should be relieved since it was a clue that told her how to behave. “Of course,” she said with a smile. “The girls are just fine.”
“Julie said she never liked Genevieve.”
“She never got to know her, and Genevieve can be intimidating for kids. It wasn’t anything serious.”
“She never did anything to the girls before the other night, did she? I mean, she didn’t give them any other reasons not to like her?”
She could see what he was asking. He was worried that Genevieve had hurt the girls in a way he didn’t know about.
Rose said quickly, “Of course not. I think it was just that she was always kind of distant, and she never made any effort to really bond with the girls. Kids pick up on that kind of thing really easily. If anything had happened, I would have told you. I promise. There’s nothing to worry about. ”
James sighed visibly and slouched back against the couch. “Okay. Thanks.”
Rose nodded and waited for him to say something else. He didn’t though, so she wondered if the conversation was over so she should get up and go to her own room.
She and James were certainly not in the habit of sitting on the couch together after the girls had gone to bed.
“Did you always want to be a nanny?” James asked out of the blue. He’d been staring at a blank spot in the air, but now he looked over at her, his tone and expression both thoughtful.
“No,” she told him, once she’d processed the question. She leaned back against the couch since he clearly wanted to sustain the conversation. “Not really.”
“So why did you become one?”
“Well, I always wanted to teach in elementary school, but we were always so short on money that Deanna and I tried to get jobs right away instead of spending money or taking out loans for college. I always planned to get started, taking classes part-time, but it never seemed like the right time. Being a nanny seemed as close as I could get to teaching children.”
“You’re really good at it. You’d be a great teacher.”
She sighed and then turned to smile at him. “Maybe I will one day.”
“You could start taking classes now.”
“I know.”
“So what’s holding you back?”
She glanced away. “I don’t really know. I enjoy being a nanny, and I’ve always been a little… hesitant about changes and new things. I’m sure I’ll start soon.”
She wasn’t sure if that was true or not, but she still wanted to be an elementary schoolteacher, which meant she would have to eventually go to college.
James was silent for a while, evidently thinking about their conversation. Then he asked, “What’s your family like?”
Rose wondered what was leading to these unusual questions. “I don’t know.”
“Of course you know.”
She gave a little smile. “Well, it’s kind of hard to explain them. You got a taste of them the other day.”
James chuckled, the amusement softening his hard features. “Your grandmother seems quite… formidable.”
“She is. No one can defy her. And even if they do, they’ll eventually end up doing what she wanted all along. She’s just like that. She’s obsessed with history and all things connected with our family, of course. You should have seen the lengths she went to in order to restore our old house.”
“I heard something about that. She engineered your sister’s marriage?”
“Yeah. Kind of. But I wonder sometimes if it was just for the money. Afterward, when Deanna and Mitchell fell in love, it was like she’d known that would happen all along.”
“What kind of plans does she have for you?”
Rose shivered at the thought. “I have no idea. She’s always left me alone to be a nanny. I don’t know why though. She made Deanna go to every garden party and cotillion on the calendar in the hopes of finding her a rich husband. I don’t know why she wasn’t on the same sort of quest with me.”
She had a random glum thought that might answer that. She added, “Maybe she just thought I wasn’t pretty enough to be of interest to a rich man.”
“Don’t be stupid,” James said gruffly, giving her a decidedly cool look.
She raised her eyebrows, surprised by the words. He’d never been rude to her before. “It’s not stupid. It’s just a thought. I’ve never been as pretty as Deanna.”
“That’s not even true.” He seemed to be bristling with some sort of resentment, which was nice if he resented what she’d said about herself.
“It is true,” she said. She wasn’t insecure like she used to be, but she was realistic about who she was and what she looked like. “I’m not saying I’m ugly or anything, but Deanna was always prettier. You’ve never even met Deanna.”
“I’ve seen her pictures, and she’s not prettier than you.”
Rose felt herself blushing again no matter how firmly she told herself to stop. “Well, I don’t think so, but thanks for the thought anyway.”
“What about your younger sister?” James asked.
“Oh, she’s very pretty too, but she refuses to dress up or make herself more attractive. You saw her last night.”
“I didn’t mean if she was pretty. I meant, does your grandmother have big plans for her?”
Rose shook her head. “Not that I know of. As far as I can tell, she really relies on Kelly. Kelly takes care of the house now. Maybe Grandmama doesn’t want to marry her off because that would mean there would be no one left in the house with her.”
“I’m sure you all would take care of her.”
“Of course we would. She’s eccentric and pushy and sometimes incredibly embarrassing, but we love her.”
“What does she do that’s embarrassing?”