Chapter 4
Rose tried not to be happy about James’s broken engagement.
She tried very, very hard.
She wasn’t entirely successful though.
She was so unsuccessful that she actually dreamed about him that night.
She couldn’t remember details, but just before she woke up, she had a vague awareness of images of his face, his eyes, his broad shoulders, and the sense of how he felt—his warmth, his strength, his distinct presence.
She woke up flushed, her blood racing in excitement, and she strained to bring the dream back to her, wanting to relish in it before full consciousness dragged her back to her senses.
It was hopeless. The dream was gone. She stared up at the plaster curlicues on her ceiling and reminded herself that James wasn’t hers and would never be hers that way.
She told herself these feelings were normal and natural. Maybe any woman would feel the same way in her situation—grow too attached to her employer when the situation felt so domestic.
But it wasn’t domestic. It was strictly professional. She gave herself a firm lecture on all those truths before she rolled out of bed just before her alarm went off at six thirty.
James might have dumped his snotty girlfriend, but that didn’t mean he was available for Rose.
Hands off. Eyes off. Thoughts off.
That would be her motto for the day.
She only managed to fulfill one part of her motto by the time James came home after work that evening. She hadn’t touched him at all, but her eyes and thoughts weren’t quite so controlled even with the benefit of his having been absent from the house for most of the day.
James had told her that he was going to be back as early as possible that evening so he could have dinner with the girls and talk to them about Genevieve and the fact that he was no longer engaged.
They didn’t have time to talk during their always rushed breakfast, and he wanted to make sure to answer any questions or concerns the girls had.
Rose was touched by the thought, and she was pleased when he arrived at the house at barely five thirty, when he normally didn’t get back from work until well after six.
The girls were excited to see him, and even more excited when they saw that he had brought pizza with him.
“Can we eat in the family room?” Jill asked, having claimed the box of cheese pizza from her father and clearly looking for a place to set it down. “We don’t need forks and stuff for pizza.”
The family normally ate in the dining room, with no phones, televisions, or interruptions. Rose had always thought it was a wise, old-fashioned routine since it ensured they really talked to each other.
She could see James hesitate at his daughter’s question.
Finally he said, “We can eat in there, but no TV.”
“Okay!” Jill agreed.
“Yay!” Julie cheered, trying to grab an edge of the box so she could help her sister carry the pizza into the family room.
Rose gathered up napkins and bottles of water, but she gave James a sidelong glance before she followed the girls. “I can eat in the kitchen if you’d like,” she said softly, making sure to convey no particular feeling in the words. “You’ll want to talk to them in private, I imagine.”
James blinked. He always looked tired at the end of the day, and he always needed to shave, but he looked more tired and bristly than normal with his tie pulled loose and faint shadows under his eyes.
She wondered if he’d slept at all in the past two nights.
“Of course not. You know everything, and you always eat with us. The girls would get worried if you stayed in the kitchen.”
His tone was brusque, but he always sounded that way when he was off guard, so she didn’t take it as bad temper. She just smiled and carried the napkins and drinks into the family room, feeling a little nervous for no reason at all.
The girls were setting up a picnic blanket on the floor in front of the couch, and the cheese pizza had been placed square in the middle. They grabbed Rose’s table accoutrements and laid out place settings for the four of them.
James came in with the other pizza, having taken off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves to his light blue dress shirt. He gave a half smile at the seating arrangements and lowered himself to sit on the floor without comment.
Rose gave herself a quick, urgent lecture. Just because the meal felt very intimate and domestic didn’t mean it was. They weren’t a family, and they would never be.
She worked for them and nothing more.
She’d learned her lesson several years ago after the fiasco with Richard. She wasn’t going to start imagining something that wasn’t there since it just led to heartache.
“Thank you for pizza, Daddy!” Julie exclaimed, after taking her first bite.
“You’re welcome.”
“Is something big happening?” Jill asked, older and therefore a little more aware of undercurrents. She looked from her father to Rose as she waited for an answer.
“Well,” James began, looking a little relieved at the clear introduction to what he had to say. “There’s something a little bit big. I wanted to let you both know that I’m not engaged to Genevieve anymore. We have broken up.”
The girls both stared at him, Julie with her mouth partly open.
Then Jill asked, “Is it because she was mean to us?”
“Partly. But it’s more than that. Just because you have a fight, doesn’t mean you break up. But we realized that we weren’t happy together, so we wanted to end it before we got married.”
Rose wondered if Genevieve had realized the same thing, or if James was just generalizing for the girls.
She could fully believe that Genevieve would fall into a full-fledged snit for a while, but James was a great catch—attractive and affluent with a great house and a luxurious lifestyle.
If Rose had read the other woman correctly, she wouldn’t want to let all that go if she didn’t have to.
Her thoughts were distracted when Jill nodded soberly. “You shouldn’t get married if you’re not happy.”
“That’s right,” James said, reaching over to stroke the girl’s hair back from her face. “I think it was the right decision for all of us.”
Julie had just stared, chewing on her bite of pizza slowly. Eventually James asked her, “What do you think about that, Julie?”
“I’m glad,” the girl admitted, ducking her head as if she felt guilty. “I didn’t like her.”
“You didn’t?”
Julie shook her head, peeking up at her father. “Is that okay?”
“Yes, of course that’s okay. Sometimes it takes awhile for us to warm up to people who we don’t like at first, but in this case there’s no reason for you to get to know her better since we won’t be spending any more time together.
But I hope you’ll tell me next time if you don’t like someone who is around.
I want you to tell me anything, even if you’re afraid I don’t want to hear it. Okay?”
Rose was touched by his earnest words and by the girl’s serious response, nodding and muttering, “Okay, Daddy.”
“What about Rosie?” Jill asked, turning to look at Rose with wide eyes.
“What about her?” James asked.
“Did you ask her what she thinks?”
Rose felt her cheeks flushing, ridiculously embarrassed by the childish question. “Oh, Jill, honey, it doesn’t matter what I think. It’s a matter for your daddy and the two of you.”
“But Rosie matters too, doesn’t she?” Jill asked, suddenly looking concerned. She turned to her father with a beseeching look.
“Of course Rosie matters,” he said immediately. “She just meant that it was a family matter.”
“But Rosie is family,” Julie said, her mouth full of another bite. “Right?”
Rose felt incredibly awkward, and she had absolutely no idea what to say. She felt bad for James, who had to somehow deal with this without hurting his daughters’ feelings or giving them the wrong impression about her relationship to them.
James tightened his lips for a minute. Then he said, “Rosie is our nanny, and she’s very important. We care about her a lot, and that’s all that matters. Isn’t that right?”
“Right,” Julie agreed, smiling in relief at this confirmation.
“Right,” Jill repeated, reaching forward for another piece of pizza.
Rose’s cheeks were still warm, but she gave the girls a warm smile, and then she finally dared to look over at James.
His eyes were on her, and she had no idea what he was thinking.
She dropped her eyes so he wouldn’t think she was reading too much into the words.
But it was nice that he’d said she was important and that they cared about her. She hoped it was true—for all three of them.
Because she cared about all of them. A lot.
After they finished the pizza, they played a board game, and then Rose sent the girls up to change into their pajamas and brush their teeth. When they came back down, James suggested they watch a movie, so they all piled on the big sofa to watch one of the girls’ favorite animated films.
It had been a long day, and Julie fell asleep during the last half hour of the movie, her head on her father’s lap. Even Jill was a little groggy as the credits started to roll, so Rose helped her to her feet and kept her hand on her back as she guided the girl up to her bed.
James carried Julie up, laying her down on her bed—in the same room as her sister—and kissing her sleeping face. He leaned over to kiss Jill as well, and Rose couldn’t miss the affection on his face, even though he was normally so reserved.
He loved these girls, and he wanted the best for them. She was so glad he’d realized that the best wasn’t Genevieve.
“Kiss me too, Rosie?” Jill asked sleepily, reaching out her arms to Rose.
Rose went over to kiss her, and then she kissed Julie too, although the girl wasn’t even aware of her.
She felt James’s eyes on her as she walked to the doorway, but she was too nervous to check out his expression.
They both went back to the family room when they left the girls’ room. James collapsed on the sofa with a low groan, and Rose leaned over to pick up the empty pizza boxes.
“You don’t have to do that,” James said, noticing that she was cleaning up.