Chapter 34

Ben, November 21

Things need to be normal around here, so I act like they are normal. After I returned home I threw myself into the normal things I was supposed to be doing. I go to work and work a ridiculous amount of overtime. I keep in touch with my family and visit my mother for dinner at least once a week. I hit the pubs with Zach regularly, but he’s starting to notice I leave early and I always leave alone. Normal, normal, normal.

Just one thing that’s not normal. I bought a box of Christmas cards, for the first time in my life. I was at the checkout line and there they were, so I grabbed a box. There are 25 cards in the box. Do you know how many I sent? One. One stupid card. The card had a picture of a tree and some holly and stuff on the front. The inside? “Wishing you the best this holiday season.” I scribbled “Liz and Matt” across the top and signed it in a flourish and mailed it to her yesterday.

I almost didn’t add Matt’s name. I could have pretended it didn’t matter. But pretending has never been my style.

I sent a fucking Christmas card to Liz… and Matt. There should be an undo button on the postbox.

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