Chapter 63
Liz, April 21
England was amazing. What other word could I possibly use? Even “amazing” doesn’t feel strong enough. Being there with Ben was like stepping into a dream I didn’t know I’d been carrying all along. We had such an instant connection, like no time had passed at all. On Sunday, we even played tourists, wandering cobblestone streets and laughing at my awe over things he found ordinary. I didn’t want to leave. Not the country, and certainly not him.
At the airport, Ben had been the voice of reason. “This is not the end for us, babe,” he’d said, holding my hands like he didn’t want to let go. “You need to take care of work. And you need to have this baby. We’ll talk.” He kissed me, soft but steady. “We’ll talk a lot. And we’ll figure out the future. I promise.”
The future. When Matt used to say those words, I felt cornered, trapped in a life that didn’t quite fit. But hearing Ben say it? It didn’t scare me at all. It felt safe. It felt like support. Like something I could lean on.
“Call you when I land?” I’d asked, half-teasing, half-needing the reassurance.
“I’ll be waiting,” he’d answered without hesitation.
Since I’ve been home, he’s been true to his word. We talk every day. He’s supportive and caring, never pushy, never making me feel like I owe him anything. And yet—I miss him more than I thought possible. I miss the warmth of his hand on mine, the way his smile lights up when he looks at me, the grounding steadiness of him right beside me.
Long-distance relationships absolutely suck.