40. Shane
“Hey Miles.”
Lex’s assistant looks up with a wide grin above his purple bowtie. “Mr. Kelly! How was Paris? I’ll be honest, I was expecting the boss to be a bit more…relaxed when she got back. Everything go as planned?”
“For the hundredth time, it’s Shane. And Paris was perfect.” I pause, jaw ticking. “The flight home could’ve been smoother.”
His eyes narrow. “Turbulence?”
“Of a sort.”
“I see.” He regards me. “Is she going to be happy to see you?”
“I hope so.”
“Is she expecting you?”
I cock my head. “We had a meeting with Parker.”
“Uh huh.” He nods, then sighs. “Fine. You can go in. But if you–”
“Hey, Miles?” I interrupt as his voice takes on a hard edge.
He raises an imperious eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I fucking love the woman in that office. Save the threats for someone who needs them, yeah?”
He grins. “You got it, Mr. Kelly.”
“It’s Shane.”
“Whatever you say, honey.”
As I turn to Lex’s office, I catch sight of her business partner, Van. He juts his chin toward Miles, then shakes his head with a knowing expression. I return it, my lips curving into a smile. Yeah, we could be friends.
I tap lightly on the door, then let myself in. Lex looks up from her computer and smiles, her shoulders dropping.
“Shane Kelly, you are a sight for sore eyes.”
“So’s the sun.”
“Hm?” she tilts her head, a soft smile on her lips.
“Have you been outside today?”
She glances at the window, then scrunches her nose. “Not exactly.”
“Come on. I’m taking you for a walk.”
Chuckling, she toes her shoes back on and gets to her feet. She snags her bag from the hook by the door, leaning into my space as she does. I slip my arms around her, and she melts into me. I want to sigh in relief. Giving her space for the last week has been torture.
“You’ve been avoiding us,” I murmur, staring into her seafoam eyes.
She threads her arms around my waist, resting her head on my chest. “Seemed like a good idea after the flight home.”
“Lex, look at me.”
She obeys, straightening to peer up at me. Her voice sounded so small, nothing like the warrior I know her to be. I want to chase away the thoughts making her feel like that, want to lift her up and help her see herself the way I do. My fierce, savage queen. I cup her jaw in my hand, soothing a thumb along her cheekbone and wanting to lock the door when her pupils dilate.
“I know we have some shit to work through. That flight was…well, it was terrible. For all of us, but especially for you.” I stroke her cheek again, my other arm tightening around her. “But if we’re going to work through the shit, we need to be together, yeah?”
“Yeah,” she whispers, nodding. “You’re right.”
I press a grateful kiss to her forehead, taking her hand in mine. “Parker’s our guy now, so I’m going to hold this on the way out.”
Her breath stutters as she stares down at our joined hands. “Okay. Speaking of Parker, how’d it go?”
I open her door and draw her after me, ignoring Miles’s smirk as he looks up from his desk. It takes more than I want to admit not to celebrate her easy acceptance of my affection. Look your fill, folks. This one’s all mine.
“Seems like he knows his shit. He honestly might know more about the technical side of things than Dec does.”
Lex chuckles. “Sounds like Parker; he’s talented. More importantly, though, he’s a stellar human.”
“You seem to surround yourself with those,” I observe, glancing her way as we enter the elevator.
“Stellar humans?”
I nod.
The corner of her mouth lifts. “Yeah. I’m pretty lucky.”
“It’s not luck, Lex. It’s you.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that…” Her voice trails off as she follows me into the foyer.
“You get back the energy you put into the world.” I hold the front door open for her, then fall into step with her on the sidewalk. “Your energy is powerful.”
She moves closer, slipping her hand from mine to wrap it around my waist. I tuck her against me, leaning over to press a kiss into her hair.
“Thank you for getting me outside,” she sighs, tilting her head up toward the sun.
“I’m here for you. Always will be.”
She peers my way. “Always, huh?”
I incline my head. “Always.”
“Feels like a string,” she murmurs.
“Yeah, about that…” I steer her toward a bench by a small park.
She follows my direction easily, sitting and turning to me. Her hand grips mine where it rests on my thigh.
“I’m done with your rules, Lex.”
Her eyes flash up, widening in surprise. I cock an eyebrow at her meaningfully.
“Pretty sure we did away with them a long time ago.”
She clutches my hand, looking down as her fingers tremble.
“I don’t do long-term, Shane.”
“Why?”
She huffs. “Not my thing. Marriage and kids have never been part of my dreams.”
“Who said anything about marriage and kids?”
Blinking, her gaze meets mine. “Isn’t that what most long-term relationships lead to?”
I shrug. “Don’t know, don’t care. It’s not what I want, either.”
“It’s not?”
I shake my head. “Not big on the institution of marriage, if I’m honest. And kids?” Looking off into the distance, I try to picture myself as a father. “Not part of my dreams, either.”
“Why? You’d be a great dad, Shane.”
I shoot her a wry look. “And you’d be a great mom. Doesn’t make either of us want them, does it?”
She chuckles. “I suppose not.” Her gaze searches mine. “What do you want, then?”
I look out at the park, lush with spring green in the bright afternoon sun. We’re surrounded by new life, but all I can see is the woman beside me.
“Love and commitment. I want us to support each other and be loyal to our relationship, whatever it looks like.”
“Whatever it looks like, hm?” It’s her turn to look into the distance. “Like if there were four people involved, not just two?”
My heart swells at the number, relief rushing through me. I feared Declan fucked everything up on the flight home, worried she’d be unwilling to try again after the awful things he said. I should’ve known she wouldn’t back down. My warrior queen.
“Yeah, Lex. Like that.”
“You trying to tell me something, Shane?” She peers up at me through her lashes, her expression guarded.
“I’ve been trying to tell you I love you for weeks, Lex. I’m not great with the words, but I’ll never stop showing you.”
Her lips part on a faint gasp. “Shane…”
I wrap my arm around her shoulders, needing to anchor her. “Don’t tell me you’re surprised.”
“I…shouldn’t I be?”
“No.” I press another kiss to her head, letting my lips linger. “I need to do a better job of showing you, apparently.”
“Shane, no, you’re perfect, I–”
Smiling, I cup her cheek, drawing her to me for a slow kiss. I wipe the sheen from her lips when I release her.
“I’m not perfect, Lex, and I don’t expect you or our relationship to be.”
She bites her lip, looking away. Anxiety flares in my gut, my arm tightening around her shoulders.
“Talk to me.”
“It’s just,” she bursts, looking out at the park, “we have such a good thing going the way it is. I don’t know…I don’t know if something formal is a good idea.”
She’s scared and I suspect I know why, but I need to hear her say it.
“Why?”
She rubs a hand over her face. “Someone’s going to get hurt, Shane. If we’re in a relationship, then we’re a family, and…families…”
Her voice trails off and my heart clenches for her, for the pain she experienced at her family’s hands.
“Families hurt each other, disappoint one another. I can’t imagine doing that to you or Linc or even Declan.”
“Lex, each family is different. Do you see me hurting and disappointing Linc and Dec, or them doing that to me?”
Her eyes drop to her hands. “Not before. But on the plane…”
Fucking Declan and his temper.“Every family has conflict, Lex. The healthy ones communicate and work through it.”
“Have you three talked and worked through it?”
My lips tip up. “We’re working on it.” She starts to roll her eyes, but I squeeze her against me again. “I’m serious, Lex. We are.”
I can tell she’s not convinced. She’s been self-reliant for so long, carrying the burden her asshole father heaped on her shoulders. Though I know she has friends, I also know she’s never let anyone help carry her burdens. Lex spent nearly four decades keeping people at arm’s length, and now she had three demanding assholes forcing themselves into her life. Anyone would be overwhelmed.
“I know you’re not a patient person,” I say, “and I’m not, either. But if you can be patient with me, with us…I think we have something worth fighting for.”
She looks up and I let her see the earnestness in my gaze.
“You’re not worried about what happens when it all falls apart?”
“First of all, it’s ‘if it falls apart’, not when,” I tease, then sober. “I’d be a fool not to consider the negative possibilities, baby. We’d also both be fools not to consider the positive ones and, from where I stand, they far outweigh everything else.”
Sighing, she leans her head on my shoulder. “I don’t have an answer for you today, Shane.”
“I don’t need an answer. I just need you to know I’m all in, and I’m not going anywhere.”
She tangles her fingers with mine. “I don’t deserve you, Shane Kelly.”
“You’re wrong. You deserve far better than me, but I’m just selfish enough to keep you for myself. And my two best friends, of course.”
She giggles and sniffles, burying her face against me. We sit on the bench for another thirty minutes, laughing and snuggling. By the time I escort her back to her office, it’s the best hour of my entire week.