43. Lex
“You running off to an early meeting, or can we take our time to cool down today?”
I glance over at Linc and smile. “I’ve got some time.”
“Thank fuck,” he breathes, slinging an arm over my shoulders.
We’re both sweaty and breathing hard, having just ended our run. It’s been a week since Shane told me he loved me, and a little over two since Paris. Linc steers us onto the sidewalk to loop around the block again.
Linc’s in a white tee and black athletic shorts, his typical running attire. I’d opted for a black sports bra and matching leggings, which he’d run his hands all over under the guise of helping me stretch.
“How are things going with Parker?”
Linc chuckles. “Ask what you really want to ask, gorgeous.”
I sigh. Am I that easy to read now? And why don’t I hate it? “How’s Declan?”
“Oh, he’s still a stubborn asshole, but we’re working on him.”
“It’s been…strange. Not seeing him.”
Linc kisses my hair. “I know. He’s got some shit to work through, though. Can you be patient with him?”
“Not much else I can do, is there?”
It feels like I need to let Declan come to me. I’d mentioned it to Shane a few days prior, and he’d agreed, saying his friend needed to reach some of his own conclusions before he’d be ready for the conversation we needed to have. I suspected Shane was helping those conclusions form, if the glint in his eyes had been any indication.
“Hey.” Linc draws us to a stop, taking my hands in his. “I know this is hard, Lex. It’s certainly not how I envisioned things going after Paris.”
“That’s an understatement,” I mumble.
He reaches out and taps underneath my chin with a knuckle. I look up into his amber gaze, threading my arms around him and pressing my body to his. With a gentle smile, he reaches up to cup my face in his big, warm hands.
“Shane and I? We’re not going anywhere. And Dec will come around, beautiful. I know he will.”
“I trust you, Linc.” I do. There was a time when the realization had thrown me for a loop, given how few people I’ve let into my life, but my desire to trust Linc, Shane, and Declan feels natural. Right.
“I’m so grateful for that, gorgeous. I trust you, too.” He presses a kiss to my forehead.
Leaning back, he smiles down at me, his thumbs brushing along my cheekbones.
“You should also know I love you, Lex,” he whispers, tone almost reverent.
My lips part as I stare up at him, pulse thundering in my ears.
“Shane and I, we’ve been loving you quietly for months. It’s way past time for me to love you out loud, don’t you think?”
His expression is so open and earnest, no trace of hesitation or fear in his gaze. My heart swells in my chest as I rise to my tiptoes, gently pressing my lips to his.
I intend for it to be a sweet kiss, gentle, but the moment Linc groans and drops an arm around my waist, it’s anything but. He teases my lips with his tongue, diving between them without hesitation when I open for him. A quiet whimper escapes as I wind my arms around his neck, clinging to him. Emotion claws its way up my throat as we devour each other, tears welling.
I gasp when we part, and stare up at Linc with glassy eyes. “Linc, I…”
“I know,” he whispers, kissing the tears as they spill down my cheeks. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”
My gut twists, the thought of him not knowing how much he means to me repulsive. I reach up and cup his cheek in one hand, smiling through my tears.
“I think it’s time I love you out loud, too.”
The sweetest smile breaks over his face, his perfect dimple appearing to taunt me. I swipe my thumb over it, biting my lip.
“Yeah?” he whispers, voice cracking.
I nod. “Yeah. Someone told me recently love is a choice. And loving you is one of the easiest choices I’ve ever made.”
Linc surges forward, capturing my mouth in a searing kiss. Then he’s squatting down, wrapping his arms around me, and lifting me into the air. I squeal, giggling as he spins me around, just as he did in Paris. He throws his head back and shouts up into the sky as I laugh.
“I love you, Lex Livingston!”
The intercom on my phone beeps right before Miles’s voice comes through.
“Uh, Lex? You have a, um…visitor.”
I blink, looking toward the door. Miles isn’t a person I’d describe as hesitant or timid, but his tone suggests both. Rising to my feet, I slip on my heels and walk to the door. Before I can open it, a sharp knock sounds.
“Sir, please be patient!” Miles barks.
My gaze narrowing, I pull the door open. As I meet the stony gaze of the tall man on the other side, my eyes widen.
“Nate.”
“Lex.” He nods. “Can I come in?”
Miles shoots me a nervous look over my brother’s shoulder, hand raised in an ok sign. I give him a smile, then turn to my unexpected visitor.
“By all means. What brings you to enemy territory on a random Thursday morning?”
Nate makes his way to my couch, unbuttoning his navy suit coat as he sits. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he glances up at me.
“I wanted to thank you.”
My eyebrows rise as I shuck off my heels and fold myself into the armchair opposite him. Nate watches the move, his lips curling.
“Still hate shoes, I see.”
Chuckling, I tuck my feet underneath myself. “Some habits can’t be left in childhood.”
“Can’t say I’ve seen you this relaxed around me since then, either.”
He isn’t wrong. Seeing him stand up to our father, as calm and professional as it had been, had gone a long way toward helping me see him in a new light. I eye his body language, comfortable in my space.
“I could say the same for you, brother.”
He grunts, smile spreading. “What a pair we are, hm? The Livingston siblings, together again.”
Tilting my head, I hum. “Are we, Nate? Together?”
His expression sobers. “I’d like to be, Lex. If you’ll have me.”
“Is this a business proposition or a family one?” I ask softly.
He stares off into the distance, then turns to me. “It started as a business one, but I’d rather it be both.”
I smile gently. “Why are you here, Nate?”
Sighing, Nate slumps back on the couch. “Two reasons. I’d like your advice on how Greenstar should handle next steps with the State, and…” He takes a deep breath, expression turning sheepish. “And I’d like to get to know my sister again.”
“Ah.”
He studies me, his steely eyes gentle. “I’ve had a lot of time to think since Paris.”
“Come to any realizations?”
“I did. Namely, that I’ve followed our father blindly for long enough. His refusal to see reason despite the evidence your client shared…” He exhales sharply. “It has me wondering where else his decision-making has been flawed.”
“I see.”
Nate clears his throat. “I’ve been an ass to you for years.”
“Decades,” I correct.
He doesn’t laugh it off. “You’re right. Lex, I’m sorry.”
I huff. “Nate, if you think you can erase–”
“I don’t,” he interrupts, raising a hand. “I’m sorry. I mean it, and I want to prove it to you.”
Taking a steadying breath, I push the topic to safer waters. “Are you still running PL?”
He cards a hand through his hair. “Yes.”
“I see.”
“For now.”
I cock a brow at him. “For now.”
He smiles, head ducking. “I told you I’ve done a lot of thinking.”
“Seems like you have,” I mutter, studying his face. “What can I help with?”
“I want to suggest the State contract with Solum instead of Greenstar.”
“How does Greenstar feel about that?”
Nate chuckles wryly. “They weren’t thrilled, but they also didn’t have a better answer. We had a third party run some tests, and the results…well, they weren’t what we’d been promised.”
“I’m sorry to hear it.”
He smirks. “Are you?”
I shrug one shoulder. “I’m thrilled you ran more tests. It’s disappointing when an investment fails, though. I know that pain and I’m sorry you’re experiencing it.”
He watches me, eyes searching mine. “Father has no idea who you really are, does he?”
“You know the answer to that, Nate,” I whisper.
“He’s a fool.”
I nod. “So I’ve said.”
“You have. I might finally be ready to listen.”
Humming, and not ready to go down that path, I adjust in my chair. “You mentioned needing advice.”
“Yes, right. Maybe I can schedule time with your lovely assistant,” he smirks at the door, “to get into those details.”
“Sure, Nate. Happy to help.”
“You might be pleased to know Anne-Marie has lost her position with Greenstar.”
I chuckle. “Far be it for me to wish for someone’s career to go up in flames. But if I was ever going to put a target on someone’s back, it would’ve been hers.”
“It would’ve been a well-deserved target. The woman is insufferable and crossed several lines in her attempt to salvage her career.”
A frown tugs at my lips. “Maybe I’m too harsh, but I would hope there’s nothing left to salvage.”
Nate’s gray eyes twinkle. “You’ve always been a little cutthroat when someone wrongs your people, Lex. It’s served you well. And, in this case, she’s honestly getting off easy. Your guys could sue, especially after all the shit she tried to say in the press after Paris.”
After we landed in the Bay and I buried myself in work to escape my emotions, several reporters had reached out for commentary on a wild story Anne-Marie concocted to save her reputation. It took little more than a few targeted phone calls to kill the headline before it saw the light of day.
My chuckle is dark. “I probably took too much pleasure in refuting her claims. But when the only publication willing to run your story is a tabloid…well, that’s statement enough, isn’t it?”
We laugh, and for the first time in decades, I think it might be possible to know my brother as more than a passing acquaintance or business rival.
“You looked happy in Paris, Lex. It seemed like more than just the Summit.”
“Bold of you to assume you have the right to gauge my happiness,” I tease.
He chuckles. “Fair.”
“You’re right this time, though. I was very happy in Paris.” I smile, glancing down at my hands as my thoughts turn to Linc and Shane, even the possibility of Declan. “I’m happier now.”
Nate’s grin lights the room. “I’m glad. You deserve happiness.”
“Took me a while to realize that, you know. After everything.”
His grin falls away. “I can imagine. Our father…he’s always been cruel, but especially so to you. I hope…Lex, I hope you don’t let him sabotage the future you deserve.”
Reginald wasn’t the only cruel one. “Say more, please.”
He shifts, turning to face me. “I don’t think Reginald is capable of loving another human being, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t. And it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved. You do.”
I take a shuddering breath, looking away. I’m not ready to cry. Not to him.
“Thank you,” I croak, clearing my throat. “By the same coin, Nate, I hope you realize you don’t have to keep a family who has only ever ordered you around in their own self interest. You can build your own.”
His chuckle is self-deprecating, almost hollow. “With who?”
“Me,” I offer. “Your son.”
Nate’s eyes bore into mine. “Jackson.”
I raise a brow. “He goes by Jax.”
He huffs. “Right, Jax.”
“He lives in my pool house, not sure you knew.”
His brows raise. “I…I should’ve known.”
“Probably,” I concede. “Do you want to hear the story? From my perspective, at least?”
My brother searches my face, his expression torn. “Yes, Lex. Please.”
I smile. “He walked right up to me in the lobby downstairs and introduced himself as my long lost nephew, then gave me this sheepish little smile and asked if I wanted to get to know each other. I took him to the coffee shop across the street, and we talked for an hour.” Chuckling, I look out at the redwoods. “Miles was ready to kill me for messing up my schedule, but I couldn’t walk away. And when Jax asked if we were hiring, I gave him a job on the spot.”
Nate huffs, shaking his head. “Bold of him.”
“No, you don’t get it,” I insist. “He’s so…genuine. I don’t know that I’ve ever met someone so real and open about who they are. I couldn’t abide the thought of sending him somewhere else to find work, not when I could keep him close and get to know him. And when I found out he was sleeping in his sprinter van in my parking lot, well. It was a no-brainer to offer the pool house.”
His jaw drops, and I laugh.
“I know. That was my reaction, too.” I smile, thinking of the lights Jax strung up when he moved in, and how their very presence is soothing. “He’s special, Nate. You should be proud. I am.”
Nate swallows roughly. “How is he?”
“Too insightful for his own good,” I chuckle. “You’ve met him.”
“He’s a surfer. And I think he mentioned modeling?”
“He still works in my mailroom, too. He wears the surfer persona well, though you’d be smart not to underestimate him. There’s a lot more to him than his easygoing nature would suggest.”
Nate swallows roughly. “Does he…does he want a relationship with me?”
I unfold myself from the chair and move to the couch, perching next to my brother. Reaching out tentatively, giving him the opportunity to put his boundaries back in place, I grip his hand in mine.
“That’s something you should ask him, Nate. I know your son better than I know you, you know.”
“Yeah,” he grunts, voice raw. “How weird is that?”
“What even is normal in this family?” I counter, expression wry. “I know him well enough to know he’ll give you all the chances you want, Nate. He’s got the biggest heart. I love him fiercely.”
Nate’s eyes widen as he watches me. “You do?”
“He’s my family. And I’ll protect him with everything I have.” I tilt my head, raising a brow.
“I hear you, Lex. I do. I…I don’t want to hurt him any more than I already have.”
Searching his face, I tighten my fingers around his. “What’s done is done, but it’s not too late, you know. To build a family of your own, with me. With Jax.”
Nate lets out a shuddering breath. “You sure about that?”
“Without a doubt. Not saying it’ll be easy.” I smirk, squeezing his hand again. “You still physically incapable of not rising to a challenge?”
He chuckles. “You could say that.”
“Good. I have high expectations, little brother.”
“I’d expect nothing less.” Nate grins.