Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
ESME
Arriving at Canyon’s house was more chaotic than dinner had been. I’d barely parked my car behind Trent’s truck when the door to the house swung open to reveal Jake’s friends impatiently waiting for us.
Our cars had gotten separated on the way there thanks to the unpredictability of Nashville traffic. I'd been thankful Jake had decided to ride with me because I'd have never found my way without him, though I was left to wonder just how far ahead of us they'd gotten.
When we had left the restaurant, Larson, Logan, and Aiden had been wearing jeans and sweatshirts. When they opened the door to the house, the three looked nothing like they had earlier. Larson was wearing a pair of loose red cotton shorts and a bright blue T-shirt with yellow trim and a green pocket. Aiden was in a similar outfit, though instead of bold colors, his was more pastel and covered in what looked to be puppy dogs. Even Logan had traded his form-fitting jeans for a pair of flannel pants and his sweatshirt had been replaced by a T-shirt with a game controller on it.
Aiden’s pacifier was clipped to his shirt with a similar ribbon to the one Jake had. Logan was holding a video game in one hand and a stuffed dog in the other, and Larson had a blanket gripped in one fist. Between the outfits and the items they were holding, it was hard to believe they were the same men from dinner.
Jake smiled and grabbed his backpack from the back seat of my car. He already had the door open and one foot out before he stopped and looked at me expectantly. Unfortunately, I had no idea what he was expecting from me and I only managed a blank stare back at him. At my lack of reply, Jake glanced anxiously at his friends, then back to me before asking shyly, “Is it okay if I go now?” There was an earnestness in his expression and I could see how torn he was between staying with me and going to play with his friends.
I waved him on while trying to ignore the voice in my head telling me I was an idiot for not expecting the question. Then again, I was a fish out of water when it came to Daddies and littles, so there was going to be a steep learning curve.
Jake was gone before I’d found words and I was left alone in the car as I watched him run toward his friends and the two biggest dogs I’d ever seen in my life. At least Jake had warned me about them on our way over.
The dogs didn’t pay me any notice when I finally stepped out of my car since they were already turning to follow the boys.
Canyon appeared in the doorway almost as soon as it was empty. “Glad you made it. I was starting to worry you’d gotten lost.”
“We hit every red light in downtown.”
Canyon only nodded in understanding. “They are truly the worst.”
I had no idea where the boys had run off to, but I couldn’t hear them as Canyon led me down a hall and into a spacious living room overlooking downtown Nashville. I greeted Trent as Canyon sat beside him on the couch. A few minutes later, the boys’ voices filled a space on the other side of the kitchen, but Canyon and Trent didn't move from their spots.
“They’ll come get us if they need us,” Trent told me when I glanced over.
Canyon nodded. “Let them get settled. Then we’ll get snacks.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Snacks?” How could anyone think about snacks after the dinner we’d eaten? I was so full, the thought of food made me nauseous.
“Give them an hour—they’ll want food.”
After a few minutes, the commotion from the boys quieted down and aside from an occasional laugh or exclamation, we didn’t hear much from them until a dinosaur flew into the living room and voices quickly followed it.
“We don’t throw dinosaurs!” Canyon reminded them.
“Sorry!” a chorus of voices replied automatically.
Feet thundered through the kitchen and giggles got closer before Jake appeared in the doorway, heading straight for the dinosaur that had landed near us. Until then, he had been suspiciously scarce in the hour we’d been at the house. I’d heard his voice a few times but hadn’t seen him, even when I’d gone to the bathroom a few minutes earlier.
At my place, every time I'd brought up Jake’s little side, he’d gotten embarrassed. He'd answered my questions as best he could, but it had been easy to tell he hadn't been comfortable telling me about his interests. Watching as he bent to pick the dinosaur up, I started to understand why he’d been so uncomfortable. It couldn't have been easy to put this side of himself into words.
After he'd disappeared into the house with his friends when we’d arrived, Jake had changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt with cartoon sushi characters printed on it. His pacifier was no longer clipped to Elle but to his shirt. Elle hadn’t gone far, though. Her head was sticking out of the front pocket of his shorts.
The outfit made the muscles that normally bulged from his work uniform look smaller, and he didn’t look as imposing as he had at work the night before. Either by design or just coincidence, his eyes never found mine. He was already turning to leave when Trent spoke up.
“Please remind Logan that he can’t throw toys.”
“It wasn’t Logan. And it was an accident. We didn’t think the catapult would go this far.” He was gone in a flash, calling to someone that he'd found the dinosaur.
Canyon grinned and placed his hands on his knees as he levered himself off the couch. “Probably better we aren’t at DASH tonight. I’m not sure catapults in the playroom would be appreciated.”
Trent stood up. “Let’s go get them a snack and maybe figure out what else they’re up to.”
Canyon just shook his head. “I knew they were being too quiet. Quiet littles during a playdate are never a good thing.”
As Canyon walked by, he tapped my shoulder. “You too. Snack time is sacred around here. Might as well get used to it now.”
I blinked. My brain had still been processing how different Jake had looked when he’d walked into the living room and now Canyon was talking about snack time. Until three minutes before, I’d nearly forgotten how and why I’d ended up at Canyon’s instead of back at home with Chloe and Stank.
When we got to the kitchen, Jake was seated on a rug with Elle on one side of him and a giant dog on the other. He and Larson were focused on the toys in front of them, oblivious to us moving around in the kitchen only a few feet away. Jake reached over Logan for a toy and handed it to Larson without Logan noticing the movement.
Logan was playing a video game, also seemingly oblivious to the world around him, and he still didn’t move when Aiden flopped down on his back to look at the screen. There was an abandoned game system on the floor next to him that one of the boys must have been playing at some point.
Trent shook his head. “Huh, it really wasn’t Logan.” He pointed to where Larson was launching dinosaurs Jake was handing him. Larson pushed the end of the launcher and a green object came flying my way.
“Heads up!” Larson yelled, and Trent and Canyon ducked at once. The only reason I avoided the thing flying my way was thanks to years of hockey pucks coming at me. Instinct kicked in and I automatically reached out to grab the object before it did any damage to the kitchen or the men behind me.
Canyon stood and narrowed his eyes at Larson. “Little B?—”
His admonishment was cut off by my startled gasp. “Is this a dinosaur or a sex toy?”
Jake looked over from where he was sitting. “A bit of both.” I swore I saw a smirk cross his face, a little bit of teasing from the man who had been avoiding me since we’d arrived.
Trent nearly doubled over holding his sides and Larson was already scrambling toward me to retrieve the item. “He’s a diplodickus.” Larson said the words like they should have been common knowledge and a diplodickus was an actual dinosaur, not a sex toy with dino parts, and I was the crazy one for being shocked at the item in my hand.
I handed the toy to Larson, who took it and immediately headed back to his place on the rug. Canyon clapped me on the shoulder and turned me back toward the kitchen. “I think it’s actually supposed to be a sex toy. It’s a long story. We'll just leave it at one of their friends has one and they kept fighting over it, so they were all gifted one.”
“How is this my life?” I asked no one.
Canyon turned his attention from me to the kitchen island-turned-snack-station where every variety of snack imaginable was laid out. At least every variety for kids who probably picked at things more with their fingers than ate with utensils. Snack crackers shaped like little fish and dog bones. Pouches of applesauce and boxes of juice. And Trent was still cutting up fruits and vegetables.
Trent looked up from the apples he was cutting and called to the men in the toy room. “If you need to go potty, go now. Everyone needs to wash their hands!”
Jake scrambled to his feet and ran from the room, leaving the toys forgotten on the rug. Logan followed him after putting his game on the shelf. The two left in the toy room headed to the kitchen to wash their hands.
“What about dessert?” Aiden asked his Daddy as he finished washing his hands.
“Shit,” Trent cursed under his breath.
“Daddy said a bad word,” Aiden said with a giggle.
Trent booped his nose. “Because I’m Daddy and I’m allowed to. But I need to run out to the truck and grab the cookies. Make sure puppy washed his when he gets out here.”
Trent was gone in a flash and I was left staring at the spot he’d been standing, questioning how I’d ended up in this chaos, until my attention was pulled to the hallway off the kitchen. It was like my body knew Jake was there, and when I turned I found him smiling as he walked into the kitchen. My heart beat faster, a smile formed on my face, and I remembered exactly how I’d ended up here. Big blue eyes, tousled hair, and a smile I was becoming addicted to.
Jake was the reason I was here and he was finally looking at me, bashfulness clear in his expression like he didn’t know what to say or how to act. He dug his toe into the rug beneath his feet and blinked, struggling to hold my gaze.
Something clicked in my brain and I knew I needed to take control. I’d never been anyone’s Daddy, and Jake wasn’t just looking for someone he could call Daddy; he was looking for a Daddy like his friends had. Panic nearly took over. Just before it did, I remembered what Trent had said before he walked out of the kitchen. “Did you wash your hands?”
Jake’s worried expression cleared up and he held up his hands for me to see. “Yup.”
“Good boy,” I said, remembering how the praise had affected him earlier in the evening. Instead of tripping over nothing, Jake stood taller and his smile grew wider.
“Thank you.” He ducked his head and I could almost hear the unsaid Daddy . And fuck if that didn’t do something weird to me. I swore my chest puffed out and I could have walked on air.
Given the way Canyon cleared his throat, I suspected something of my feelings had been clear in my body language. I ignored him to focus on Jake. “Come on. Get your snack.”
Logan came down the hallway next. I was pretty sure the handwashing question had been asked to him as well, but I was still focused on Jake. He had one of the divided plates Canyon had pulled from a cupboard and was waiting patiently as Canyon placed items on it for him.
Canyon skipped over the orange slices but gave him extra bananas. He gave Jake a lot of the goldfish crackers but not as many of the dog-bone-shaped ones and then added the marbled cheese but not the white. For his actions, Canyon got a polite thank you from Jake and a bright smile to go with it when Canyon handed over a sippy cup.
I had no idea what was in the cup. I’d been too focused on watching Jake to pay attention to that. Jake, however, must have known it was something he liked. My eyes never left him as he headed to the table and slid into a chair to eat his snack.
He was either back to ignoring me or too distracted by the food.
The rest of the boys followed Jake, and before the last one had his plate, Trent had returned with the box of cookies. He got the most excited thank you from the table. Jake picked up a banana and looked over his shoulder. He searched until he found me standing by the fridge and smiled before turning back to his food. It was all so normal while simultaneously being the strangest night I’d ever had.
Canyon came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Come on, we’ve got maybe an hour before they’re ready for bed. That’s a whole different insanity.” He chuckled to himself and I couldn’t help but wonder what I was in for next.