Beau #2
Her smile fell, and I could have kicked my own ass for saying something that clearly made her upset.
“It’s just confusing right now because of Juniper. You’re wanting to make sure she’s taken care of, and I—”
“No. Don’t do that.” Her eyes went wide as I cupped her cheek, moving her face towards mine.
“Don’t diminish my feelings for you. Does it mean everything to me that you are here to help with Juniper?
Of fucking course it does. But don’t get it twisted, Chickadee.
I’m not thinking about how amazing it would feel to fuck you out here under the stars because you’ve been helping me with Juniper.
I was thinking that long before she ever existed. ”
Her eyes went wide, and she leaned back from me. “You were?”
“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about that for years.
So many years that some poor historian will look back on my life one day and say some shit about how pathetic it was of me to pine after you.
And I know I’ve messed up before. I hate myself for it.
Hell, I messed up that night with Rosa, but…
I can’t regret that. I never…I love my daughter, too. ”
She gasped. “I don’t want you to regret that night.
Juniper is perfect and beautiful, and she’s a part of you.
I’m glad I’ve been able to be here as you two settle into life together, but I’m scared to really love her.
Because the moment I let myself, it’s going to be a forever kind of love.
The kind of love I’m scared to feel for you. ”
My hand slid over her cheek, directing her face toward mine. “Let yourself.”
Birdie shook her head. “No. Because I won’t survive it when whatever shifted between us shifts back.
When you realize you want more than whatever it is you think I bring to the table.
You’re infatuated with this idea of us being…
what? Friends with benefits? You’d get the best of both worlds for a little bit, but you’ll find a woman who you want to really spend the rest of your days with.
I won’t survive having to say goodbye to Juniper and to you. I just won’t.”
She wasn’t going to hear me. I had no idea what to say in that moment. To make her listen and understand the words that wanted to pour out of me.
I looked into her eyes where confusion swirled. My hands were still holding her face, gently running my thumb over her flushed skin, catching the last of the tears that leaked from the corner of her eye.
“I’m scared to give that last little part of my heart to you, Beau. I’m scared of letting myself fall in love with you that way.”
“Why, Chickadee? I’ve caught you every time before, haven’t I? I’ll catch you now. Let yourself fall. Choose this. Choose us.”
“We’re going to ruin our friendship.”
I shook my head. “But it’s going to be for the best reason ever. Fuck. The thought of you not being my friend because you’re my girlfriend? Who’s one day gonna be my fiancé? Then my wife? Yeah, you’ll have a new title, but it won’t change what it really is.”
“What’s it really?”
“It’s spending every day, living life, loving my best friend. It’s going to be perfect.”
Birdie hesitated. “What if it’s not?”
“Then it’ll be fun. And challenging. And exhausting. Especially when we add more kids to the mix. But it’ll be ours. Our life. Our family. Our memories. Like it’s always been. Like it was always meant to be.”
I slipped my fingers through hers, squeezing.
But this time wasn’t like all the other times we’d done this.
Heat poured from my body into hers. Her pupils slightly dilated and her breath hitched, only for a second, as the air around us charged with the attraction we’d been forcing ourselves to ignore for decades.
Because we didn’t want to ruin what we had.
“We’ve been so stupid,” I groaned, leaning in toward her body.
“Yeah. We have,” Birdie agreed.
“But we’re not going to be anymore, right?”
“Fuck it…” she whispered, closing the distance as her lips slammed against mine.
It wasn’t something cautious and curious like last time.
It wasn’t an act of thankfulness that she was there for me and Juniper.
It was pure, raw desire. I pushed every thought, every emotion I was feeling through the movement of my lips.
My hands moved, sliding down her body until they settled on her waist. I lifted her up, pulling her over until her legs bracketed my hips and she sat on my lap, my back pressed up against the post on my porch, all the while kissing the hell out of her.
A moan left her throat, vibrating desire and need through my body.
And then her hands were on me, roaming over my shoulders, across the back of my neck, up into my hair.
Birdie’s fingers wrapped around the strands, tugging against the root.
Fuck. This felt like heaven.
She pulled away, ending our kiss with a gasp.
“Beau…”
“Do you get it now?” I bucked my hips slightly, her mouth falling into an O as she ground against my erection.
“Do you feel how hard I am for you? You feel how much touching you, how kissing you only adds fuel to the fire? I want you in every way, not because you’re filling some void.
Not because you’re helping me scratch an itch.
Not because you’re making my life a goddamn dream right now.
Because you’re mine to love. You’re mine to pleasure.
You’re the woman I’ve always wanted.” My lips pressed against the pulse point on her neck.
“You’re the woman that consumes my every thought.
” I kissed lower, this time across her collar bone.
Her hips ground against my dick, the friction from the contact making me harder than I’d ever been in my goddamn life.
“Beau.” My name fell from her lips as her head tipped back. Naughty thing hadn’t stopped grinding herself all over my lap, looking for release.
“Take what you need, beautiful. I’m yours.”
“I’m scared.” The whispered words were an admission, but I also heard the plea there, too.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Birdie. You have all the control here. You’re the one with my heart in the palm of your hand.”
My fingers slipped up her thigh, under the light, cool fabric of her dress. Over the ridges of her pebbled skin. My palms rounded her hips, guiding the rhythm of her movements over me.
Her fingers were back in my hair, guiding my face to her. Only I couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted to kiss every inch of her flushed skin. So I did. Her cheek. Her jaw. Down her neck and onto her chest. That little hollow spot that sat just above her collarbone.
And when she arched her back as my fingers brushed across her panties, I kissed her breast until I was met with the firm bud of her nipple. There was no holding back. I had my fill, licking, teasing, raking my teeth over the sensitive peak.
My head swam, blood pumping so wildly through my body that my ears heard nothing but Birdie’s gasps surrounded by a raging river of my own desires.
I tried not to think about slipping my fingers under the damp fabric between her legs. But when her hand wrapped around my wrist and she held my exploring fingers where she wanted me, I froze.
“Beau…please…” she begged.
And who was I to deny the woman I loved of exactly what she wanted? I slipped my fingers under the fabric and groaned as I felt how wet she was for me. Her back arched as my thumb found the spot I knew she was aching for me to touch.
My cock was throbbing, the constant friction from her hips grinding over it making me leak. I worked with the rhythm she was leading with to build her up, her breaths now leaving her chest in short, breathy pants.
“Chickadee…I’m going to…” My words weren’t fast enough.
And maybe I didn’t want them to be. Because the tingle at the base of my spine, the feeling that had my stomach flipping and sweat pricking at the back of my neck, was too fucking enticing in this moment.
Swallowing down the sounds Birdie made through her orgasm pushed me over the edge, my balls drawing up as I groaned through my release.
I continued stroking her until her hand squeezed my arm and she pushed me away. Birdie’s head dropped onto my shoulder, our ragged breaths in perfect sync.