Beau
“That was incredible.” I laughed as I wrapped my arms around her.
“Someone is going to see us!”
“You weren’t worried about that when my hand slipped into your panties a minute ago.” I chuckled.
“I was out of my mind! This…we can’t…”
My mouth landed on hers, and her body relaxed under mine.
“Did you not like your orgasm?” I teased.
“What? Of course I did—”
“Good,” I whispered, “because those sounds you were making, the way you looked as you fell apart because of my touch, it was so fucking beautiful. It made me lose control…”
Her eyes went wide, dropping down my body. She couldn’t see anything with our positions, but I knew exactly what conclusion she finally arrived at.
“Did you…” The question lingered in the air between us until I laughed.
“Enjoy myself so much that I fucking lost it? Yeah, Birdie. I did. Should we go take a shower, and you can help me clean up the mess you caused me to make?”
The tips of her ears turned red, and she smiled as her head gently nodded.
“I want whatever happens next to be so good for you,” I admitted, my voice rough with desire. “Do you want to take control, Chickadee? Or do you want me to show you exactly how I’ve been dreaming of making love to you all these years?”
Her face went blank, eyes dropping away from my locked-in gaze. “I don’t know,” she whispered.
I leaned on my right hand, balancing so I could use my left hand to tip her face back towards me. “Indecisive little thing. Wouldn’t have ever thought that of you.” I smiled as I kissed her.
“It’s just…” Her voice was soft, but something in the way she spoke had me pulling back. I moved so I was laying on the old wooden planks right next to her.
“Just what?” My finger moved in slow, lazy circles over her arm.
“I don’t have any experience to make a decision from.”
I stopped breathing. “What?”
“I don’t have any experience with…this. With a partner. I mean, I know what I like when I touch…myself.”
My brain was short circuiting. Birdie had dated before.
It was the one subject we never touched, other than me checking in to make sure whatever guy she was seeing was treating her right.
I’d have killed them with my bare hands if they weren’t.
I sat straight up, my fingers running through my hair. “Are you saying…”
Her bottom lip went in between her teeth as she sat up next to me. That beautiful flush I’d put on her skin deepened to something closer to shame. “That I’m a thirty-five-year-old woman who has never slept with someone before?”
“Birdie…” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I was going to be the first man…
I was going to be the first to…This was all wrong.
I couldn’t fuck her in the shower after making her come on my porch.
What the fuck was I thinking? She deserved candles, flowers, and a bubble bath.
She deserved a beautiful dinner out under the stars.
She always deserved that, but especially for her first time. I needed—
“No, don’t do that,” she groaned. “This is exactly what I was afraid of. Just because I waited for it to be with someone who really meant something to me, doesn’t mean that right now isn’t exactly what I want.”
“I don’t understand. You’re…perfect. You could have had anyone.”
“I didn’t want just anyone.” Her eyes sparkled as the sun finally dipped below the horizon.
“But I’m just a cowboy.”
Her hand squeezed my arms. “You’re not just a cowboy. You’re my cowboy.”
That possessiveness sent a jolt right to my heart. “But you dated that doctor…What was his name?”
She rolled her eyes. “You know his name.”
“Micah…I always hated him.” I pressed my lips to the spot just under her ear.
“Is that why you slept with Rosa? Because you thought I was doing the same with him?”
Her quiet question shredded my heart.
“No…” I ran my hand over my face. “Yes? Hayes and I were drinking like we were still in our twenties, and I was sulking about you being with him. I should have fucking known better. I should have done better. By you, and by Rosa. I spent all these years thinking you and I weren’t ever going to cross the line, and I was so fucking jealous of him…
I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you, Birdie.
I’m so fucking sorry. The hookups I’ve had didn’t mean anything to me. I should have waited for you.”
“Beau. You had nothing to ever be jealous about, and you’ve done nothing that you need to apologize to me for.
When I was with Micah, I thought maybe things would be different with him because he was nice, and we were friendly at work.
But he wasn’t you. I’ve always known you had experiences that we didn’t talk about, and we don’t need to bring them up now, because I would never hold that against you.
Just like I know you wouldn’t hold it against me if Micah had turned out to be something more for me.
And now that we’ve talked about it, what I’d love to focus on is the fact that he never made it past second base. And you’re about to score a home run.”
I couldn’t stop the vibrations rumbling through my chest. “I hate that he ever even held your hand,” I admitted. “That he had the chance to kiss you. It should have been me.”
“Don’t ask about my toys, then. You’ll hate to know where they’ve been.” I saw the challenge in her eyes, and I folded.
“Toys are tools, Chickadee.” I leaned down, pressing my chest against hers. Her breathing sped up. “Do you have any here?”
“What?” Her mouth popped open. “No! Of course I don’t!”
“That’s too bad. I’d love to watch you get yourself off, learn what you like.”
“Oh, I—”
“The next time we’re in town, we’ll stop at your house and get your special little friends.”
“Who said they’re little?” Her eyebrow quirked up as she bit her bottom lip.
“Damn,” I groaned. “Promise me you’ll bring them out here, Birdie. Or you’ll tell me what you like and we can shop together…”
“You’re something else. You know that?”
I leaned in, nipping at her ear. “I’ve been told a time or two.”
“Mm. I don’t want my toys. I want this, Beau. I want you. Please,” she whimpered as her hand came to rest on my chest.
My lips pressed to her neck, kissing her skin over and over again until I reached her shoulder. “Not here. Not like this.” My fingers slid under the strap of her sun dress, sliding it down her shoulder. “I don’t have any condoms. Are you on birth control?”
“No. I never needed it,” she sighed. “Call your brothers.”
I knew she was teasing me. The red flush of her ears told me she’d actually be beyond mortified if I did that.
“I want to scream that you’re mine from the roof right this fucking minute, baby. But I’m not about to let my brothers ever think about you and me that way. Those thoughts are only for me.”
I groaned as I stood, not hiding the fact I needed to adjust my dick so it didn’t fucking break off from the tension alone.
“Where are you going?”
“We’re going up to bed.”
“Oh.” Her eyes lit up.
“To sleep.”
“What?” I felt her eyes track me as I walked down the stairs to grab her phone, still lying down in the dirt, before slipping it into my pocket and heading back towards her. She squealed as I scooped her up, her arms wrapping around my neck instantly. “Beau, honestly…”
“I want to do this right. I want to make sure that the first time we are together like that…We got carried away out here, and it was so fucking special, Chickadee. I want you to know how special it will always be to me. I’m going to do the next part right.”
She smiled, pulling on my neck as she kissed my cheek. Fuck. It was literally taking all of my willpower to not set her down on the stairs and peel her goddamn dress off with my teeth.
Instead, I forced myself to place her gently on the bed. She giggled as she got to her feet and walked to the bathroom, her bottom lip sticking out at me in a pout as she shut the door.
I messed around for a few minutes getting the house cleaned up, checked that the doors were locked—something I’d never even thought about doing until Vi’s stalker situation last year. I peeked in on Juniper, even though the video feed was up on the monitor in our room.
When I heard the bathroom door open, my eyes nearly dropped out of my head.
“Please tell me you have something on under that old shirt of mine.”
“Nope,” she smiled, shaking her ass as she walked past me and crawled into bed, “nothing at all.”
“Chickadee…”
“What?” Her laughter filled the room.
“You’re making it very hard for me to remember that I’m trying to be chivalrous tonight.”
She winked. I was gonna lose this fight. I knew just from the way my heart skipped all wonky when I watched her freckles fold into the little lines she was starting to get around her eyes. God, I loved them. “That’s on you. I’m not the one holding back what we both want right now.”
I groaned. Shaking my damn head so hard I thought I might give myself a concussion, I stomped over to my closet and grabbed the shorts I’d be sleeping in.
I was ready to get more sass from her when I came out of the bathroom after finally cleaning myself up, but stopped mid stride and chuckled.
Birdie was already on her side, curled up around my pillows, her eyes fluttering closed.
I put her phone on her night stand before I sat on my side of the bed—my own fingers flying over my phone’s screen.
“What are you doing? I thought we were going to sleep?” She yawned, her eyes popping back open to give me the cutest little scowl when I finally got into bed with her.
“Oh, we are. But I had to send a text in the family chat. Should be dinging on your phone…in…one…second. There.”
I smiled as her phone lit up on the night stand next to her.
“Read it,” I encouraged as I sat back against the headboard.
“Beau…”
“Read it, baby.”
“I swear to God if you asked your brothers for condoms, I will actually die.”
“No dying. And I didn’t ask about condoms.” I chuckled.
My own phone dinged, so I dropped my eyes to my screen to see who had responded so quickly.
Hey guys. Just a heads up…Birdie and I had a big talk tonight.
We decided being best friends just wasn’t in the cards for us anymore.
We hope you’ll respect our decision to move on from these roles in each other’s life.
It’s what’s best. Truly. Also, please don’t harass Birdie about her new role as my girlfriend, or me, as I undertake my new role as her boyfriend.
Jessie: I’m going to fucking kill you for giving me a heart attack! Just so we’re clear, if you ever screw things up with Birdie, she gets me in the custody agreement.
Colt: Congrats you guys! About damn time!
Hayes: Oh my GOD! I’m going to be alone forever! I mean, yeah, great for you guys…everyone in this family has been waiting for it to happen for the last thirty years, but sure, hooray you two!
Violet: This is so wonderful! Jess, Birdie, girls’ time soon?
Jessie: I’m in!
Lachlan: About fucking time, asshole. Birdie…if he’s making you agree to this, blink twice and I’ll have Hayes kick the shit out of him.
Hayes: I better be the fucking best man at your wedding! I know my talk with Birdie was the reason this happened!!
Her shoulders shook as she laughed, typing away on her phone. I tried to peek over her shoulder, but she just winked at me and turned the screen so I couldn’t see.
Birdie: I’m really happy about this, Lach, I promise. And you know I’m all in for girls’ time, but it’ll go to Beau’s head if he knows we're talking about him.
“Hey!” I nuzzled my nose into the crook of her neck. “Be nice.”
“Oh, I am being nice, Cowboy. Unlike you, who made it seem like I was about to walk away from this family.”
Ma: I’m gonna faint! Can we move up family dinner to tomorrow night?
Hayes: I’m on shift. I know it doesn’t matter, since I’m not bringing a girlfriend with me.
Birdie: I’m also on shift for the next few nights. But I’m not scheduled for the normal family night time. So count me in for that.
Alright, family. I’m going to tuck my girlfriend into bed for her beauty sleep. Quit texting us, would you?
Colt: We all know it’s not Birdie who needs rest to be beautiful…
I pulled the phone out of her hand, rolling over for a second to deposit both of them on my nightstand. “My brother’s right, you know. You’re so fucking beautiful already. No sleep needed for you…”
She laughed. “I do, in fact, need to sleep. I want to maximize my time with Juniper tomorrow before my shift.”
“You’re going to be tired if you’re up all day with her and then work all night. I don’t like the idea of you driving home to us being exhausted.”
“You better finish up ranch duties before I have to head in, then. Make sure I can take a little nap. And besides, I’m not driving here right after shift, remember?”
I shook my head.
“I have to stop at my house. You promised I could introduce you to my battery operated boyfriends.”
I groaned. “Jesus. I just got my dick to calm down.”
“Poor thing. I could maybe help you out.” Her hand slipped over the blanket towards me.
“Nope. No. We’re going to snuggle in bed and put on one of those awful girly movies you love, and we’ll laugh together as we fall asleep.
And then, when I’ve actually been able to cook you a nice dinner, run you a bubble bath, set up candles and put flowers all over this room, then we’ll explore that. ”
“Why go through all that for me?”
I tried not to react, but I knew every muscle in my body had been drawn tight at her question. “Because you deserve romance, Birdie. You deserve effort. And attention. And to have your first time, and every time after that, be something special. I won’t ever take you for granted.”
“Maybe I want you to.” Her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. “Maybe I want to have sex on the porch. Maybe I want you to come home and pull me into the shower with you. Maybe I want you to throw me over your shoulder after we get Juniper to bed and fuck me senseless in this bed.”
I smiled, kissing her shoulder. “I can definitely do all of that.”
“But…”
“But…we’ve spent decades dancing around this. I just…there are things I’ve always thought about doing. I want to show you how much it means to me.”
Her eyes softened. “I can’t wait. Thank you for wanting it to be so special for me.”
“Always.” I pulled her in closer to my chest. “Now, what movie are we falling asleep to?”