10. Hunter
Hunter
She seems quiet when I drive her home. Her little house on the outskirts of town doesn’t seem as safe as I wish she was. There’s still a haze over the mountain and the charcoal smell in the air.
She jumps out as I stop the car and stumbles, catching herself when I slam the truck into park.
“Dammit, Aspen! What the hell are you doing?” I jump out and run up behind her, jerking at her arm and dragging her to a stop.
She pulls away and keeps her face turned so I can’t see what’s going on with her.
“What’s happening here, Aspen? I told you that I have feelings for you. I know you have feelings for me as well. So why are you pulling away?”
She sighs and then stares up at me with these big, bright aqua eyes swimming with tears.
“Are feelings enough? Because you have this whole big life out there with fans and people who work for you and I can’t even tell my cousins that I don’t want to work in the flower shop with them.
How is that going to work? You come back through here every six months or so?
And then you just leave to go do your job?
I’m not sure how long that will last but I guarantee it won’t be long before it’s driving both of us nuts. ”
I growl under my breath, shoving my fingers through my hair. “Why can’t you go with me?”
“I-I just can’t. Fee and Harp need me.”
“Fee and Harper both have men that can help them. You deserve to have the life you want. You deserve to be happy too. Just like they are. They’re living life the way they want to.
You’re just existing because you’re afraid to do anything else.
” I stop and run my hands through my hair.
“I’m not sure if it’s that you’re afraid to live or you’re afraid to be happy.
But either way, if you don’t make the choice that I know your heart wants, you’re going to regret it.
I know that I will if I don’t beg you to think about this.
Think about what you’re doing to us. Please, sparkles.
Think about this. Don’t do something crazy like pull away. ”
Her eyes well up with tears and I pull her closer, feeling the sting of my own fears welling up behind my eyes. I lean down and touch her lips gently, whispering, “Please, Aspen. Please don’t do this. Just try to hang on. Try to choose us…choose happiness.”
I can taste the salt of her tears and my chest caves in with the pain. But she jerks out of my arms, her hand coming up to cover her lips. “I’m sorry. I just…I can’t.”
And then she runs into her house and slams the door behind herself and it echoes in my soul, dropping me to my knees.
I slam my fists into the dirt beside the driveway, my whole body rigid with tension. The ache in my body worse than any pain I’d ever felt.
My eyes watch the light come on in the house and I whisper, “Try to be strong, sparkles. Try…just try. For me. For us. We deserve a future.”
I want to stay but I stand on shaky legs and step into my truck. With one last look at the house where my dreams live, I turn my vehicle and drive away, every foot feeling like an eternity away from her, every mile feeling like a knife to the gut.
When I get back to the hotel, I fall on the bed in my clothes, closing my eyes. I can still smell her scent in the air, still see her lying here, smiling and happy.
I roll over and pull the pillow up to my face, breathing in her and letting the fear finally take me.
What if she doesn’t change her mind? What if she’s not strong enough, what if she doesn’t feel enough for me? What if she doesn’t love me enough as I love her?”
I stand up and drift out to the windows in the little sitting room. I pick up my guitar and close my eyes, strumming gently. My mouth opens and….
“Your memory lives here in my heart. Your face smiles down at me and I can’t breathe. Can’t do anything but feel the pain. The loss of you.”
“What if you think I’m not enough? What if you find something better and you leave me here in the dark?”
“I can’t lose your memory. Can’t see anything but your face, your smile, the happy way you”
I stop and shake my head.
“I won’t let you go…no matter how much time goes by, your heart and mine beat as one.”
“You’re mine and I can’t let you go. I’m yours and I hope you know…”
“I love you. Forever and forever.”
I hang my head and then I pick up my phone. The phone rings and then he picks up.
“What are you calling me for so late, Hunter?”
“There’s a wildfire here and I’m sure they’re going to need money. I want to do a special performance for them.”
He sighs. “Hello, Hunter. Nice to hear from you without having to hunt you down. What did you say you need help with?”
“I wrote a song and I want to perform it here. For someone special.”
“Jesus, this is for a woman? I can’t believe you even talked to one let alone got close enough to…wait! You wrote a song?”
His voice squeaks like a teenage girl. I chuckle.
“I’ve written the bare bones of one. But I’ll have it ready in a few days.
I want you to get your ass up here and help me get all this stuff taken care of so I can premiere it here.
For her. For her family and her town. So they all know how I feel about her. ”
“You sound like a nut. But a happy nut.” He pauses. “I’m happy for you. But why do you need to surprise her?”
“She…well, she’s not sure if she wants to leave here. And I’m not sure I can leave her. So I also need a house with a studio. Because except when I’m on tour, I’m gonna spend every spare second I have trying to make her happy. She’s my future, Ryan. She’s the one. Mine.”
“Wow! You…I can’t get over how the mighty have fallen. I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon and we’ll get this sorted out. I cannot wait to hear this song.”
I grumble under my breath, “you and me both. It’s coming along.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow. If you need anything before I get on a plane, you tell me and I’ll make it happen, man.”
“Thanks.” I gulp a swallow. “I really appreciate all that you’ve done for me over the years.”
“Uh-uh. We’re not done here. So don’t go giving me some sappy good-bye. I think we’re about to have another gold album.”
“We’ll see.”
“Talk to you later. Get some damn rest. I don’t want to put you onstage if you look like shit. That reflects on me too!”
Rolling my eyes, I growl but he just laughs and hangs up.
And I pick up my guitar again and a piece of paper. Then I let it all out. All the feelings she brings alive.
All the hurt and anger that came before and the relief of finding the one.
And I smile for the first time in a long time. Because it feels right.