Chapter 10
CHAPTER
TEN
‘Cause girls is players, too.
August…
It had been four days since I’d seen that pretty face, heard that alluring voice, or kissed those plush lips. I was jonesing. Bad.
And, there was only one person who was capable of fixing the yearning I was feeling. I wanted to slide my dick so far up her that I could see that motherfucker in her chest.
There.
I stood back, head crooked as I peered at the dining table, makeshift table cloth, and wooden chairs I’d taken off one of my customer’s hands. Proud of my accomplishment, I rubbed my hands together. Just a few more dollars and the for sale sign behind the table would be destroyed.
With my realtor’s help, I’d put in a cash offer that the owner of the establishment couldn’t refuse. I was on the brink of buying. By the time the offer was accepted, I would have the rest of the funds to make the purchase. Until then, I was cruising.
There was only one person in the world I cared to share the news with.
It was the girl who kicked me into overdrive.
It was the only person who had personally contributed to my nest. The money I’d taken off her trick put me right where I wanted to be.
The money she’d made in Miami we split down the middle.
She’d robbed a nigga, so I wasn’t expecting her to willingly hand me a red cent.
However, it was the only reason she had given me anything.
“Don’t let nobody touch my shit, Quincy.”
“Man, they better not fuck wit yo shit. I know that.”
Quincy could hardly keep his eyes open, but he’d keep an eye on my belongings. I’d bet my last dollar on it. The job paid twenty dollars. He wasn’t fucking that up. It would cost him his next high if he did.
“You coming back though?”
“Yeah. I’ll be back, nigga.”
I hopped in the Chevelle and burned off.
My first stop was the wing spot.“Fifteen‐piece. Lemon pepper. Fried hard. All flats. Side of buffalo sauce. Extra ranch dressing. Carrots tossed in buffalo sauce.”
I spun the block, parking in front of Hyphen’s spot. Her car was in the driveway. I crept from my ride and up her porch. Using the key she hadn’t tried to pry from my hands, I entered her home.
Kitchen.
Hallway.
Living room.
Dining room.
Bedroom.
Bedroom.
Bedroom.
Office.
Hyphen was nowhere to be found. My heart sank with each step I took toward the front door. I scratched my head as I took a seat at the dining table. I wasn’t sure where Trouble could be, but she wasn’t where she should’ve been.
Twenty minutes elapsed before I grew tired of waiting. Dooley wasn’t big enough for her to hide for long. A few blocks and she’d be riding in the passenger seat on the way to the spot I’d put together for us.
On my way out of the door, I removed her trash from the garbage can. I locked up and headed toward her trash can at the end of the driveway. When I slid into my whip, the heaviness of my heart anchored me to the cement below my tires.
I rubbed away the ache and started my engine.
I switched gears and pulled off. My thoughts were still with Hyphen, forcing me to peer into the rearview.
To my surprise a droptop Benz on twenty-fours now reserved the space I’d just occupied.
Hyphen exited, face brimming with pride and hands full of bags.
I switched gears again. This time, putting my car in reverse. I mashed the gas, not stopping until I made contact with the grill of the Benz behind me. It wasn’t until then that I put the car in park and hopped out.
Swift on my feet, the door of the car I’d just totaled was open and I was pulling the driver out within six seconds.
“Fl–”
“Get in the fucking house before I fuck you up out here, Hyph.”
“What are you doing?”
“What I told you I’d always do,” I reminded her.
“What is wrong with you?”
I blacked as my knuckles crashed into the face of a nigga unfit for my bitch. I was seeing red.
On his nose.
WHAM.
In his mouth.
WHAM.
On my hands.
WHAM.
I keep ramming my fist into his face. I could feel each bone as it cracked against my skin.
WHAM.
“Unless you’re ready to die ‘bout it, stay ‘way from ‘round here,” I grunted, not letting up.
“Flocco!”
“That’s enough, man.”
“You’re going to kill him!” Hyphen warned.
It was her voice that snapped me from the trance.
“Go to jail if you want to, Flocco. I’m not answering no calls. I’m no–”
I released the unsuspecting victim. As he dangled from his car, I leaned over him, lifting the center console.
I removed every dollar running loose in that motherfucker.
I pulled the glove compartment down and did the same.
Before taking off in the opposite direction, I remove his Rolex, chains, and bracelets.
Thank you, bitch ass nigga.
Hyphen was still running that dick sucker of hers when I stepped inside of her home. Her attempt to slam the door on me was comical, but this was no laughing matter.
“Get out of my house, Flocco.”
I wanted to fight her. I wanted to fuck her. I wanted to say fuck her. I did neither. Instead, I stared at her unique skin and brown eyes and pouty lips and fluffy cheeks.
“You’re going to get a motherfucker seriously hurt out here playing these games. I’m not with this shit, Hyphen. So tell me now–before I waste my entire fucking life putting a nigga in the dirt cause he fucking with a bitch that wants more than anything to be fucked with.”
I didn’t miss the pain in her eyes as the derogatory term spilled from my lips. I wanted to take it back. I needed to take it back. But, I couldn’t. I stood on it. I stood in the mess I’d just made of the heart she claimed wasn’t mine to have.
Sarcastically, she chuckled, rolling her tongue over her teeth. I wanted my dick down her throat. Not words that would cut me like knives.
“As long as it isn’t me for once.”
It didn’t take long to register what she was referring to.
You’re going to get a motherfucker seriously hurt out here playing these games.
“Bullshit, Hyph. I’ve told you I won’t fuck you over. Yet, you st–”
“Me. Me. Me. Be fucking for real, Flocco. I have told you at every turn that I do not have the capacity for a relationship right now and to get ahold of your feelings. Yet, you keep pushing and pushing and fucking pushing. Take accountability for your shit. Let’s be clear.
“You say you’re a real nigga, well show me.
Don’t put this on me. I’ve been upfront with you from the very beginning.
I’ve never lied to you. About nothing. This is where I am.
This is who I am. A bitch. A bitch that loves playing with niggas because all they’ve ever done is play with us.
A bitch that is every niggas karma cause not enough of the girls have the heart to be.
A paid bitch. A motivated bitch. A real bitch.
“But what you fail to realize is that I’m not your bitch. Stop listening to that thing that beats in your chest. It’ll always lead you the wrong way. That shit always breaking. Why the fuck would you trust it? Hm? Don’t worry. Don’t answer that. Just leave my house. Just– GO.”
I chuckled, stuffing my latest earnings in the empty grocery sack hanging on the coat rack behind her front door.
“You fuck a nigga the way you do… spend days at a time at his crib… be ready to roll when he pulls up… suck his dick as if its your last meal on earth… hit his pockets… and nice to ‘em when that dick inside of you… then expect me to keep shit cordial? Keep shit friendly?
“Hyph, I’ll blow a nigga head clean the fuck off right now ‘bout you. What ain’t you getting?
Them pretty lips always yapping, but them motherfuckers haven’t been telling the truth.
I’m not the only one with feelings involved.
The difference is I’m so fucking in love with your selfish ass that I can’t hide that shit if I wanted to.
“And you’re so fucked up and scared to love again that you can’t help but hide how you truly feel.
But, that’s all good, Hyph. I ain’t trying to be sitting in a cell behind a woman that doesn’t have the audacity to love me loudly.
Proudly. So, I guess we’re both a little selfish.
You want yourself. I want you. And, that shit ain’t change cause you said not right now.
“Nah. Cause if you didn’t want this shit, then I wouldn’t be here.
I’m not new to your game. I fulfill whatever void you have.
I soothe those aches. I assist with that healing of yours.
I make you forget anything ever hurt so bad because being around me feels so good.
That’s why I keep coming back. That’s why I keep pushing.
“But I can’t love you into wanting what I’ve been trying to give you since day one.
You have to do that. But, you’re too stubborn.
Too blind. Too burdened. But, I ain’t gone keep paying for what a pussy nigga did to you.
So on some real shit, Hyph. Fuck you. Fuck you today.
Fuck you tomorrow. And fuck you the day after that, too.
“I can’t leave this house knowing I’ve disrespected you the way I have, so I apologize for calling you out of your name.
I don’t think you’re a bitch. I think you're brilliant. I think you’re fun.
I think you’re strong. I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve laid eyes on.
Until this moment, I thought you were mine.
I was wrong. And, for that, I’m sorry too.
Maybe I’ve been projecting or some shit.
Wanting to believe you could see the good… see the effort… see the love.
“But you can’t, baby girl. You can’t see nothing but yourself. And, right now, that’s working for you. I wanted it to work for me too, but we’re not on the same page. Before I catch a case ‘bout you, I’ma let you be. You feel me? Just remember, Hyph. I ain’t break your shit, baby. You broke mine.”
I pulled from my fourth blunt. Still, my chest ached. The weed wasn’t numbing the pain. I felt like I’d been sliced down the center with a steak knife.
My heart broke when I saw my people on the floor, blood leaking from their bodies. It was the first time I’d felt true pain. Today, I felt that again.
Blowing out a stream of smoke, I replayed our conversation in my head. And, no matter what, the look on Hyphen’s face when I called her out of her name is what stayed with me. So did the look on her face when I turned to leave, placing the key to her house on the couch.
I no longer wanted access to her. I no longer wanted access to something so painful. I no longer wanted access to someone who possessed so much power.
I’d been warned. Still, I didn’t take heed. I ran into the fire, head-first.
Clown ass nigga. I chastised, filling my lungs with smoke.
I didn’t budge at the sound of my gate swinging open.
Nevaeh approached with tupperware in her hand.
I’d need whatever she’d made by the time I got my head together and I’d finished firing up blunts.
I wasn’t sure when the cycle would end, but I wasn’t complaining.
The sound of Dooley was music to my ears.
“Hey, Flocco.”
“What’s up, Nevaeh?”
Instead of giving me details on what was inside of the containers, she took a seat next to me.
“Everything okay?”
“It will be.”
Her hand rested on my knee.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
I turned toward Nevaeh, taking a good look at her soft brown skin. She was a far cry from Hyphen–physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, her presence was slowly easing whatever was causing chaos in my chest.
I chuckled, shaking the thoughts from my head.
“What’s funny?”
I shook my head.
“Nothing.”
“I’m serious. I’ve never seen you look so… down. Not since, well. You know.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“So,” she leaned closer. “Either tell me what’s going on in that head of yours or tell me if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“Unless you can suck dick, Nevaeh, with all due respect, ain’t shit you can do for me. But, I appreciate the meal.”
She got the hint and stood immediately.
“I’ll let you be.”
‘Preciate that, too.
I watched as she made her way toward the gate. Before she pushed it open, she turned back and headed in my direction. With her arms folded over her breasts, she sighed.
“For the record, I can suck dick.”
“You ain’t come back to tell me that, Nevaeh.”
“I didn’t. I came back to tell you that I’ve been wanting to suck yours for the last three years.”
I wasn’t surprised. She pranced up and down the street all evening hoping to run into me. She sat on her porch waiting for me to leave home. She cooked for me. She offered to clean for me.
“Closed mouths don’t get fed,” I told her, ashing my blunt.
I stood up and dusted my jeans. With Nevaeh on my heels, I entered my home.