Chapter 23
Daniela
“I’m not listening to this the whole drive there!”
Dex is driving us to Sacramento in his truck, and he’s already taken control of the music. It’s some sort of classic rock, and I hate it.
“Fine, princess. You can put Taylor Swift on for a little while. But it better be her best album.”
“And which one is that? In your…humble opinion.”
“Guess.”
I disconnect his Bluetooth in favor of mine and tap shuffle on my favorites playlist. I look over, and Dex has both hands on the wheel. He’s looking forward, but he’s trying to suppress a grin .
“This isn’t actually your favorite, is it?”
“I don’t really know them all.” He grins, giving me side-eye. “I was just messing with you. I’m not against it, though.”
A moment passes as I look out the window, daydreaming, and then I hear the very quiet rumble of him singing the chorus under his breath. Nailing the lyrics. He looks over, noticing my attention on him, and flashes me the biggest smile. The kind that lights up a person’s whole face.
My stomach flips.
My lip curls up in a grin as he reverts his attention back to the road, pausing his singing. I watch him a little longer.
“What’s up with that tattoo?” he inquires, nodding toward my inner arm. “I’ve always wondered.”
I look down for some reason, even though I know exactly what he’s talking about.
“Is it an anteater or something?” he continues.
“No. That’s Miles the pangolin.” The tattoo in question is a small curled up pangolin in black ink.
“The what?” He looks at me, perplexed.
“It’s nothing.” I say, shutting down the conversation.
He looks…disappointed. But he doesn’t pry.
“Okay,” he finally utters, keeping his eyes on the road.
An hour or so passes without much conversation. He never attempts to put his music back on or complain about mine, but I start to feel bad that I hijacked it the whole way.
“What do you want to listen to? I can change it.”
“This is fine,” he replies, keeping his gaze forward.
“No really. I’ve chosen the whole way. Go ahead.”
“Dani, I really don’t care. You can pick whatever you want.”
I pause for a beat.
“Did you just call me Dani?” I ask.
“Uh, yeah. I guess,” he grumbles.
“Hmm.”
“What?” he asks, flashing a quick glance in my direction.
“Nothing. Just…nobody calls me that.”
“You don’t like it?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Okay.”
His arm that’s stretched toward the steering wheel seems tense, his tanned muscles flexed and his veins protruding up his forearm to his bicep.
“Do you ever want kids?” I ask, the words slipping from my mouth out of nowhere, my voice softer than I meant it to be.
“What?” He pulls his eyes from the road for a moment to look at me, his eyebrows furrowed.
“You heard me. Kids.”
“Uhh…” He runs his other hand through his hair and then rubs the back of his neck for a moment—so mething he tends to do a lot, I’ve noticed. “Kids…yeah. One day.”
“It’s just…I’ve seen you with Jackson. You seem to have so much fun with him.”
He grins, and his eye crinkles in the corner. “Yeah. He’s a fun little dude. I have to help look out for him. I grew up with Lace, you know…Liam’s sister. She was like my big sister too. Always looking out for us…”
It’s possible, as I continue watching him, that his eyes are getting misty. My stomach sinks, and I feel stupid for bringing it up.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up. I don’t know where it came from…”
“No, it’s okay,” he says. “I like talking about her. It keeps her memory alive. Plus, she’d kick our ass if we didn’t”
He grins, and I laugh. And then our eyes meet, and for a moment, I forget why I pushed him away in the first place.
Maybe I am the one who shouldn’t be trusted. Dex isn’t the one who flaked and went silent. That was all me. And still, he reached out—way more times than a normal person would have or should have.
Keeping a small circle of trusted people isn’t a bad thing, but at what point does it become a little too small? I’m pretty sure my therapist has told me before that I shouldn’t let my past experiences turn me into the very person I try to avoid.
I’m not the only one who has been through tough shit, as Dex just reminded me.